Divorce Dialogues

The Coronavirus has thrown us all for a loop, forcing us to take on multiple roles at once. Parents are struggling to work from home and homeschool our children at the same time, all while managing financial challenges and fears around the health and safety of the people we love. And divorced parents have the added pressure of coparenting in a time when our parenting plans just aren’t feasible. So...

The divorce rate among couples in second marriages with kids is somewhere between 64% and 72%. And part of the reason is that stepfamilies face unique challenges and may not have a realistic picture of just how long it takes for stepparents and stepchildren to get comfortable with each other. Mary T. Kelly, M.A. is the marriage and family psychotherapist behind Real Stepfamilies, a platform design...

If you had trouble seeing eye to eye with your ex before the Coronavirus hit, the crisis likely magnified the issue. And with the current restrictions on travel, following your carefully crafted custody plan may be impossible. So, what is the best way to approach coparenting through COVID-19? Cameron Goodman is the founder of Goodman Law Firm, a Chicago area boutique practice specializing in divor...

It’s difficult enough to move forward with your life after a divorce. But it’s harder yet if you’re still surrounded by the furniture, jewelry, or art acquired during the marriage. Tiffany Ann Beverlin argues that it’s not necessarily healthy to live among the ashes of broken marriage when you’re trying to build a new life. But where can you go to sell those items and get a fair price? Are there o...

The stress of a divorce can bring out the worst in us. Emotions are heightened, and we revert to our most-regressed selves. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can commit to staying in a place of kindness and compassion, whether or not your ex reciprocates, and achieve a better result. Nancy Steiner is the Founder and President of Steiner Coaching Solutions, a practice dedicated to helping peo...

For adult children with aging parents, the current health crisis is particularly stressful. Some of us are caring for Mom or Dad at home without the help we’re used to. Others are cut off from our loved ones in nursing homes or assisted living facilities. So, what’s the best way to navigate our new role as caregiver if an elderly parent is home with us? Or stay connected to our aging parents if we...

Multiple songs have been written about the futility of trying to make someone love you. But if that someone is your spouse, you may spend years (and a lot of money) in the attempt. So, how do you know when it’s time to let go and go through with a divorce? Dr. Frederick Tiesenga is an award-winning, board certified bariatric surgeon dedicated to helping people achieve a healthier lifestyle. He is...

The Coronavirus has us all concerned about both our physical and financial health. The economic impact of the pandemic has changed the value of everything overnight, making the process of dividing assets for a divorce settlement particularly challenging. So, what’s the best way to cope with the uncertainty? And what are our options if we need cash in hand right now? Steve Kaplan is the founder and...

There is no precedent for how to negotiate a divorce under the current circumstances. We simply can’t ask what a division of assets looks like during a Coronavirus pandemic because it’s never happened before! So, how can divorcing couples get creative and collaborate on financially neutral solutions that serve both parties? Michelle Smith is the Founder and CEO of Source Financial Advisors, a weal...

Among the most painful aspects of divorce is not being able to see our children for extended periods of time. And the holidays can be especially difficult. So, what do divorcing parents need to consider as we negotiate a parenting plan that works for everyone involved? What can we do to protect our kids through the process and design an agreement that is as fair as possible? Elyse Golweber has 30-...

Conventional wisdom tells us that divorce has a negative influence on children. And yet, the research reveals that it’s the level of parental conflict that has the greatest adverse impact on kids—whether their parents stay married or not. So, how can we work WITH our ex to make the transition a little easier on our children?  What can we do to step up and be parents for our kids when they need us...

Selling your home is a complex process in and of itself. But selling your home because of divorce adds another layer of complexity. How do you make decisions with an ex when you’re already struggling to communicate? Lou Rodriguez is a professionally trained and certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist and Real Estate Probate Specialist based in South Florida. He has 19 years of experience in valui...

As you negotiate a divorce settlement, it’s useful to think about assets like a bowl of fruit. While it might look like an apple and a pear have the same worth, it’s crucial to solicit the advice of a professional to ensure that what appears to be a 50/50 split is truly equal. So, how can a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) help you navigate the divorce-specific items in the tax code and...

It’s no surprise that divorcing couples deal with strong emotions. And yet, we know that our brains work best when we’re in the Calm Zone. So, how do we manage the feelings of anxiety, anger or sadness that come up in the divorce process? How do we bring ourselves back to that quiet, problem-solving mode so that we can divorce with dignity? Dr. Susan Heitler is a clinical psychologist specializing...

If you’re divorcing a member of the military or you’re a servicemember yourself, there are a number of complexities around the process that make it different from a civilian divorce. So, what are the special considerations associated with military divorce? John P. Cannon is the founder of Cannon & Associates, an Oklahoma City firm with expertise in military divorce and criminal defense. He is...

How do you reclaim your power after a divorce—especially if the breakup wasn’t your decision? It starts with making yourself a priority and getting the support necessary to step out of your role as a victim. And if you’re willing to explore your trauma and do the work necessary to heal, the reward is an opportunity to contribute your best self to the world. Denise LaRue is the trauma-informed life...

The early stages of a relationship with a narcissist feel perfect. They are charming and charismatic and make you feel like you’re a part of something bigger than yourself. But when something seems too good to be true, it usually is. And without fail, being with a narcissist evolves into a situation where you’re always trying to please and everything is your fault. So, how do you take the first st...

Forgiveness is hard, especially in the aftermath of a divorce. We don’t want to let our ex ‘get away with’ what they did to hurt us. But most of us realize that carrying resentment, anger and bitterness doesn’t benefit us in any way. So, how can we begin to let go of our negative emotions and forgive a former partner? Commonwealth Professor Emeritus Dr. Everett Worthington is a leader in the field...

Communicating with an ex is ripe with triggers, and it’s easy to get overwhelmed by our emotions and react in a volatile way that we’re not proud of after the fact. But there are mindfulness tools to help us pause in the moment, observe what we’re feeling, and respond in a skillful way. Joree Rose is the licensed marriage and family therapist behind the Bay Area Mindfulness and Therapy Center, a p...

Divorce is difficult enough. But if you’ve been married for many years and your identity is wrapped up in your role as a partner and parent, the process can be even more fraught. What makes midlife divorce particularly challenging? And how do you move on from a relationship that defined you for so long? Fiona Eckersley is the Confidence Coach and Divorce Recovery Expert behind Find Your Fabulous,...

Curious what your soon-to-be ex-spouse isn’t telling you? If you suspect that your former partner is hiding assets, but you don’t want to hire a forensic accountant until you’re sure, it may be time to talk to an intelligence firm. So, what role does an investigator play in the divorce process? And who are they best equipped to help? Philip Segal is the Managing Member of Charles Griffin Intellige...

So, you’re ready to start dating again after divorce, but you don’t want to make the same mistakes as last time. How can you do an autopsy on your marriage to understand what worked and what didn’t? How can you get clear on who YOU are and what you’re looking for in a partner? How can you find a compatible connection and then establish a loving relationship that lasts? Bernadette Smith is the crea...

It’s never really just about the numbers. Money is emotional, and our feelings about finances reflect what’s going on inside. This is especially true for divorcing couples making major money decisions that will impact the rest of their lives. So, how can we navigate those emotions and design a financial plan that makes sense for both parties? Ivy Menchel is the Founder and President of Family Weal...

To divorce with dignity, couples need closure. Until we’ve said goodbye to the relationship, we simply can’t let go of the blame and shame of the breakup and reach a peaceful resolution. But what does that look like? How can we work through the grief early on, so that we don’t end up having very expensive arguments in an attorney’s office? A relationship expert with four decades in private practic...

Will I ever be good enough? If you’re married to a narcissist, chances are you’ve struggled with this question. But the truth is, it’s impossible to please a narcissist, and you may need to leave the relationship. So, what can you do to prepare for the divorce process? Is there any way to avoid a high-conflict divorce? How can you protect your children and offer them the empathy they can’t get fro...