Divorce Dialogues

How do you reclaim your power after a divorce—especially if the breakup wasn’t your decision? It starts with making yourself a priority and getting the support necessary to step out of your role as a victim. And if you’re willing to explore your trauma and do the work necessary to heal, the reward is an opportunity to contribute your best self to the world. Denise LaRue is the trauma-informed life...

The early stages of a relationship with a narcissist feel perfect. They are charming and charismatic and make you feel like you’re a part of something bigger than yourself. But when something seems too good to be true, it usually is. And without fail, being with a narcissist evolves into a situation where you’re always trying to please and everything is your fault. So, how do you take the first st...

Forgiveness is hard, especially in the aftermath of a divorce. We don’t want to let our ex ‘get away with’ what they did to hurt us. But most of us realize that carrying resentment, anger and bitterness doesn’t benefit us in any way. So, how can we begin to let go of our negative emotions and forgive a former partner? Commonwealth Professor Emeritus Dr. Everett Worthington is a leader in the field...

Communicating with an ex is ripe with triggers, and it’s easy to get overwhelmed by our emotions and react in a volatile way that we’re not proud of after the fact. But there are mindfulness tools to help us pause in the moment, observe what we’re feeling, and respond in a skillful way. Joree Rose is the licensed marriage and family therapist behind the Bay Area Mindfulness and Therapy Center, a p...

Divorce is difficult enough. But if you’ve been married for many years and your identity is wrapped up in your role as a partner and parent, the process can be even more fraught. What makes midlife divorce particularly challenging? And how do you move on from a relationship that defined you for so long? Fiona Eckersley is the Confidence Coach and Divorce Recovery Expert behind Find Your Fabulous,...

Curious what your soon-to-be ex-spouse isn’t telling you? If you suspect that your former partner is hiding assets, but you don’t want to hire a forensic accountant until you’re sure, it may be time to talk to an intelligence firm. So, what role does an investigator play in the divorce process? And who are they best equipped to help? Philip Segal is the Managing Member of Charles Griffin Intellige...

So, you’re ready to start dating again after divorce, but you don’t want to make the same mistakes as last time. How can you do an autopsy on your marriage to understand what worked and what didn’t? How can you get clear on who YOU are and what you’re looking for in a partner? How can you find a compatible connection and then establish a loving relationship that lasts? Bernadette Smith is the crea...

It’s never really just about the numbers. Money is emotional, and our feelings about finances reflect what’s going on inside. This is especially true for divorcing couples making major money decisions that will impact the rest of their lives. So, how can we navigate those emotions and design a financial plan that makes sense for both parties? Ivy Menchel is the Founder and President of Family Weal...

To divorce with dignity, couples need closure. Until we’ve said goodbye to the relationship, we simply can’t let go of the blame and shame of the breakup and reach a peaceful resolution. But what does that look like? How can we work through the grief early on, so that we don’t end up having very expensive arguments in an attorney’s office? A relationship expert with four decades in private practic...

Will I ever be good enough? If you’re married to a narcissist, chances are you’ve struggled with this question. But the truth is, it’s impossible to please a narcissist, and you may need to leave the relationship. So, what can you do to prepare for the divorce process? Is there any way to avoid a high-conflict divorce? How can you protect your children and offer them the empathy they can’t get fro...

Divorce is difficult enough, but it’s particularly tough when you feel like you’re losing your kids. How can you maintain the connection with your children when your time with them is limited? How do you make memories whether or not you live in the same household? Tommy Maloney is the cofounder of Blending the Family, a platform dedicated to helping divorced parents navigate dating and remarriage....

52% of married people don’t consider themselves happy. Yet, we don’t reach out for support until something is really wrong. Why are we settling for happy enough? What if we sought couples counseling early on and learned how to build truly fulfilling relationships? Rachel and Kyle Wright are the founders of Wright Wellness Center, a relationship coaching practice designed to change how our culture...

In the midst of a challenging divorce, it may feel as if you’ll never be able to move on. But what if you could use the divorce process as fuel to stage an epic comeback, reclaim your power and design your own best life? Nikki Bruno is the founder and CEO of Catalyst Coaching. Her signature program, The Epic Comeback, helps women stage an epic comeback and build a joyful life in the aftermath of a...

If your child comes home complaining about your ex-spouse, it can be incredibly difficult not to react. You want to intervene, to defend your child. And your instinct is to address the issue with the other parent right away. But what if that puts your child in the middle—one of the very things you’ve been trying to avoid? How can you learn to take a step back and decide whether that problem really...

Getting back into the dating scene after a divorce can be challenging, especially if you never dreamed you’d be looking for love on an app. How do you write a compelling bio? How do you choose pictures that will lead to quality matches? What do you wear on a date, especially if your style hasn’t changed in years? Where can you go for help navigating the online dating process? Alyssa Dineen is the...

Divorce forces us to forge a new identity. Like it or not, life is different now, and we can either fight the change or accept and adapt to a new reality. Best case scenario, we use the crisis as an opportunity to change for the better, making decisions about what we value and focusing on our health and spiritual growth. We can leverage the divorce process to become fully ourselves—and fully ALIVE...

Divorce settlements are often compared with business deals. But the analogy falls apart when you consider that business deals give you the option to walk away. Perhaps a better parallel is that of a hostage negotiation, where you have no choice but to work with the other side. And in both cases, approaching the negotiation with respect—despite your very different point of view—is the most benefici...

Let’s face it: We are emotionally attached to our stuff. During major life transitions like divorce, downsizing, or dealing with a death in the family, that attachment is exacerbated by the emotional upheaval that accompanies change. How can a professional organizer help you learn to ‘treasure hunt’ rather than just keep things for the sake of keeping them? And how do you design a space to support...

In the midst of difficult life transitions like divorce, it is human nature to reach extreme, self-defeating conclusions: I’m incapable of love! All men are sociopaths! The world is unspeakably cruel! How can we take a closer look at what happened in our relationship and expand the narrative to something a little more nuanced, a little more balanced, a little closer to the truth? One strategy that...

Divorce is never easy on the kids involved, but the process can be particularly fraught for teenagers. How does divorce impact teens differently than younger children? What is the best way to customize a parenting plan for teens? And how can you support teens in adapting to a new, blended family? Barbara Rothberg, DSW, LCSW, has 35-plus years of experience helping clients resolve conflicts and nav...

Once you have made the difficult decision to divorce, a sense of urgency sets in. You want to get through the painful process as quickly as possible. Yet it is unwise to make snap decisions when you’re under that kind of emotional stress. How do you give yourself time to process what is going on? How do you define your non-negotiables and use them to reclaim a sense of control? And how do you find...

Most people dealing with divorce feel isolated and alone. It’s challenging to find people who really understand what you’re going through and attending events around the divorce process can prove embarrassing. So, where can you go to learn about your options, get recommendations for trusted professionals and connect with other people who truly empathize with your situation? Where can you find a sa...

Divorce is a difficult, painful process. But at the end of the day, people pursue divorce because they want to be happier and improve their lives. The experience CAN afford you the opportunity to look inward, rediscover yourself and architect a better future—if you approach divorce in a mindful, non-toxic way. Gabrielle Hartley is committed to helping couples divorce with dignity and ease. Gabriel...

A divorce is a divorce is a divorce. And yet, there is a different layer of complication when divorce involves high net worth individuals. Whether the wealth came from an inheritance or wages earned during the marriage, there is a strong emotional charge involved as the divorcing couple sorts out who is entitled to what. Michelle Smith is one of the most sought-after divorce financial specialists...

Over the last 40 years, marriage has evolved from an institution based on strict gender roles and specialization to a connection based on friendship and shared interests. Our expectations of marriage have shifted as well, the standards for intimacy rising along with the need to negotiate shared responsibilities. So, how can couples best navigate these new rules? And how does this transition impact...