Divorce Dialogues

Divorce is stressful. But there are things we can do to mitigate that stress and avoid the conflict that comes when our emotions get the best of us. In fact, implementing just one or two simple mindfulness techniques can go a long way in helping us get out of our heads and re-center—without having to master Lotus Pose. Dr. Crystal Dea Moore is a Professor of Social Work at Skidmore College and the...

It’s hard enough to understand what Social Security benefits you may be entitled to as a married person, but once you’re divorced… Well, it’s complicated. Can you claim spousal benefits on an ex-spouse? What happens if your ex remarries? Or passes away? James McGlynn is the CEO at Next Quarter Century, a retirement planning firm out of Fort Worth, Texas. He spent 35 years serving clients as a mutu...

While the overall divorce rate in the US has declined, gray divorce is on the rise. In fact, among adults over 50, the divorce rate has doubled in the last 30 years! Why are older Americans divorcing at such a dramatic rate? And what does it mean for their finances? Lisa Decker is a nationally recognized expert in the financial matters of divorce. A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Real Est...

EP: 134 Whitney Boole To Heal from Divorce, Move Through Your Grief Do you feel stuck in the pain of divorce? Are you having a hard time moving on? Like any other loss, divorce triggers the grief process. And you have to move through the stages of grief if you want to heal. Whitney Boole is the licensed marriage and family therapist behind Beach Cities Psychotherapy, a private practice based in He...

For victims of domestic violence, the actual separation from an abusive spouse is a dangerous time. What resources are available to help survivors plan a safe exit? What can we do to protect ourselves and our kids from further harm? And what legal protections exist to support those of us who are divorcing an abusive spouse? Board Certified Family Law Specialist Lisa Angel is the President of Rosen...

Most divorcing couples are good at the blame game. They cast their former partner as the villain and spend a lot of time stewing in bitterness and anger. But if that kind of ongoing adversarial relationship is not what you want for your kids, there is a way to clean up the wreckage of the past and build something new. There is a way to have a happy divorce. Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond ar...

Substance abuse adds another layer of complexity to the divorce process. So, what do you need to consider if you’re divorcing an addict? And what if you’re struggling with alcoholism or drug abuse yourself? Attorney Aaron Thomas is the Founder of Aaron Thomas Law, a family law practice based in Atlanta, Georgia. Aaron began his legal career in 2002 as an in-house staff attorney for Habitat for Hum...

If you’ve been blindsided by an unwanted divorce, the prospect of feeling joy again one day may seem impossible. But if you’re willing to do the work, you CAN choose better over bitter and take the first steps on the path to happily divorced. India Kern is the Divorce Recovery Mentor behind India Kern Coaching, a practice dedicated to guiding clients through the transition from married to happily...

If you’re in the middle of a divorce, meal planning is probably at the bottom of your priority list. But the fact is, what you eat (or don’t eat) has a serious impact on the way you feel—and the way you feel about yourself. So, what can you do to maintain good nutrition through such a stressful time? Kristin Kirkpatrick is the award-winning dietician and nutritionist behind KAK Consulting and mana...

How do you know if your marriage is over? And once you know, how do you overcome the fears associated with divorce? Debra Doak is a Certified Divorce Coach and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst on a mission to give women the confidence they need to speak up for what they deserve in their relationships or at the negotiating table. Debra specializes in helping women make difficult decisions about...

The Coronavirus has thrown us all for a loop, forcing us to take on multiple roles at once. Parents are struggling to work from home and homeschool our children at the same time, all while managing financial challenges and fears around the health and safety of the people we love. And divorced parents have the added pressure of coparenting in a time when our parenting plans just aren’t feasible. So...

The divorce rate among couples in second marriages with kids is somewhere between 64% and 72%. And part of the reason is that stepfamilies face unique challenges and may not have a realistic picture of just how long it takes for stepparents and stepchildren to get comfortable with each other. Mary T. Kelly, M.A. is the marriage and family psychotherapist behind Real Stepfamilies, a platform design...

If you had trouble seeing eye to eye with your ex before the Coronavirus hit, the crisis likely magnified the issue. And with the current restrictions on travel, following your carefully crafted custody plan may be impossible. So, what is the best way to approach coparenting through COVID-19? Cameron Goodman is the founder of Goodman Law Firm, a Chicago area boutique practice specializing in divor...

It’s difficult enough to move forward with your life after a divorce. But it’s harder yet if you’re still surrounded by the furniture, jewelry, or art acquired during the marriage. Tiffany Ann Beverlin argues that it’s not necessarily healthy to live among the ashes of broken marriage when you’re trying to build a new life. But where can you go to sell those items and get a fair price? Are there o...

The stress of a divorce can bring out the worst in us. Emotions are heightened, and we revert to our most-regressed selves. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can commit to staying in a place of kindness and compassion, whether or not your ex reciprocates, and achieve a better result. Nancy Steiner is the Founder and President of Steiner Coaching Solutions, a practice dedicated to helping peo...

For adult children with aging parents, the current health crisis is particularly stressful. Some of us are caring for Mom or Dad at home without the help we’re used to. Others are cut off from our loved ones in nursing homes or assisted living facilities. So, what’s the best way to navigate our new role as caregiver if an elderly parent is home with us? Or stay connected to our aging parents if we...

Multiple songs have been written about the futility of trying to make someone love you. But if that someone is your spouse, you may spend years (and a lot of money) in the attempt. So, how do you know when it’s time to let go and go through with a divorce? Dr. Frederick Tiesenga is an award-winning, board certified bariatric surgeon dedicated to helping people achieve a healthier lifestyle. He is...

The Coronavirus has us all concerned about both our physical and financial health. The economic impact of the pandemic has changed the value of everything overnight, making the process of dividing assets for a divorce settlement particularly challenging. So, what’s the best way to cope with the uncertainty? And what are our options if we need cash in hand right now? Steve Kaplan is the founder and...

There is no precedent for how to negotiate a divorce under the current circumstances. We simply can’t ask what a division of assets looks like during a Coronavirus pandemic because it’s never happened before! So, how can divorcing couples get creative and collaborate on financially neutral solutions that serve both parties? Michelle Smith is the Founder and CEO of Source Financial Advisors, a weal...

Among the most painful aspects of divorce is not being able to see our children for extended periods of time. And the holidays can be especially difficult. So, what do divorcing parents need to consider as we negotiate a parenting plan that works for everyone involved? What can we do to protect our kids through the process and design an agreement that is as fair as possible? Elyse Golweber has 30-...

Conventional wisdom tells us that divorce has a negative influence on children. And yet, the research reveals that it’s the level of parental conflict that has the greatest adverse impact on kids—whether their parents stay married or not. So, how can we work WITH our ex to make the transition a little easier on our children?  What can we do to step up and be parents for our kids when they need us...

Selling your home is a complex process in and of itself. But selling your home because of divorce adds another layer of complexity. How do you make decisions with an ex when you’re already struggling to communicate? Lou Rodriguez is a professionally trained and certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist and Real Estate Probate Specialist based in South Florida. He has 19 years of experience in valui...

As you negotiate a divorce settlement, it’s useful to think about assets like a bowl of fruit. While it might look like an apple and a pear have the same worth, it’s crucial to solicit the advice of a professional to ensure that what appears to be a 50/50 split is truly equal. So, how can a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) help you navigate the divorce-specific items in the tax code and...

It’s no surprise that divorcing couples deal with strong emotions. And yet, we know that our brains work best when we’re in the Calm Zone. So, how do we manage the feelings of anxiety, anger or sadness that come up in the divorce process? How do we bring ourselves back to that quiet, problem-solving mode so that we can divorce with dignity? Dr. Susan Heitler is a clinical psychologist specializing...

If you’re divorcing a member of the military or you’re a servicemember yourself, there are a number of complexities around the process that make it different from a civilian divorce. So, what are the special considerations associated with military divorce? John P. Cannon is the founder of Cannon & Associates, an Oklahoma City firm with expertise in military divorce and criminal defense. He is...