Divorce Dialogues

Julie Rountree began her career as a divorce attorney. And she quickly realized that clients expected her to be both their legal advocate and counselor. But it was very difficult to wear both hats. Julie recognized that her clients needed someone to help them navigate the emotions of divorce. That’s when she stumbled on divorce coaching and thought, ‘This is professional who’s been missing from th...

We all assume that when we get divorced, things are going to get better. But when a marriage ends, communication is usually at a low point. And that communication style tends to stick, which causes ongoing conflict in the co-parenting relationship. So, what can you do to interrupt that conflict dynamic with your ex? How do you build a constructive, positive co-parenting relationship? Jenni Rock is...

Do you suspect that your soon-to-be-ex-spouse is hiding money? If your partner is trying to avoid equitable distribution in a divorce settlement, they might be keeping assets from you or transferring money into a secret account. But is it necessary to hire a forensic accountant? Or can you do the job yourself? Tracey Coenen is a renowned forensic accountant and the brains behind the Divorce Money...

What story are you telling yourself about your divorce? Blaming your ex may seem justified, but that story only gets you stuck in a victim mentality with no control over your own life. So, how do you rewrite your story and start building an empowered life post-divorce? Kimberly Kelley is the neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner and hypnotherapist behind Reinvent Yourself, a program that...

Wonder what your kids are experiencing during the divorce process? What if you could ask adult children of divorce for advice? Grace Casper became a child of divorce at the age of eight. By age 10, she had written the first draft of her book, Dear Parents: Notes from a Child of Divorce by Grace Casper. Today, Grace runs Divorce Tips from Kids, a platform dedicated to helping families navigate divo...

Worried thoughts about the future generate anxiety. And divorce begets an uncertain future. So, it’s no surprise that anxiety is such a common emotion in divorce. But how do you navigate that anxiety without getting overwhelmed in the process? Bernadette Purcell is Founder of Shore Behavioral Health, a practice that helps patients with anxiety disorders enjoy more fulfilling lives and supports ind...

Divorce makes us feel vulnerable. And many of us lawyer up and come out swinging to protect ourselves. But what if there’s a more effective way to reach an agreement with your ex? What if a little self-reflection early on can help you improve the process of working with a divorce professional? Jacinta Gallant is a respected lawyer, mediator and educator recognized internationally for her innovativ...

If your marriage is ending, you may be convinced that things will never be good again. But what if I told you there is a way to stay positive, even during a divorce? To feel less vulnerable in stressful situations? And change the dynamic of conversations with your ex? Bill Carmody serves as Chief Coaching Officer for Positive Intelligence, where he oversees the application of mental fitness for th...

According to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, divorce is the second most stressful life event after the death of a spouse. And that stress has an impact on our food choices and overall health. So, how might we leverage integrative nutrition to make positive, lasting lifestyle changes while we’re coping with divorce? Suzy Wood is the Integrative Nutrition Health Coach behind True Wellness Within,...

Traditional coparenting arrangements put the focus on the divorcing couple. They establish new, separate households, and the kids go back and forth. But what happens if you shift your focus and build a coparenting plan around the children? When Bill DeSalvo’s ex-wife introduced him to the idea of nesting, he had misgivings. But he was open to the alternative because of its benefits for his kids. O...

Separated parents often worry about the upheaval a divorce causes in their kids’ lives, especially the stress that comes with moving back and forth between two households. But what if you could give your children the security of staying in the family home? Nesting allows kids to do just that. And it’s the parents who move in and out. So, how does nesting work? Is it right for your family? Beth Beh...

At the beginning of a new romance, we’re not worried about repeating the unhealthy patterns that ended our previous relationships. We tell ourselves that this one is different. But statistics tell a different story. The divorce rate is 41% for first marriages, 60% for second marriages and 73% the third time around. So, what’s behind those dismal statistics? And what can we do to heal a disappointi...

Many people are overburdened with expenses after divorce. So, what options do you have when the cost of living on your own becomes overwhelming and you get into financial trouble? Though it is a last resort, sometimes filing for bankruptcy is the best way to eliminate some of your debt and get back on your feet. So, how do divorce and bankruptcy law work together? What do you need to know about de...

If you’re going through a divorce, you’ve likely fallen into what David Emerald Womeldorff calls the Dreaded Drama Triangle or DDT. But this framework keeps you and your ex focused on your problems rather than the outcomes you want. So, what is the antidote to the toxicity of DDT? How do you shift out of fear and reactivity into creativity and empowerment? David is the Creator-in-Chief of The Empo...

Divorce leaves us overwhelmed and vulnerable, compromising our ability to parent well. And despite our best intentions, we may inadvertently dismiss our kids’ feelings or put them in an uncomfortable position. So, what can we do to gain a better understanding of what our children are going through during a divorce? How can we learn to coparent in a way that puts kids first? Christina McGhee is the...

When you’re going through a divorce, it’s easy to lose your joy. You feel like you have every right to be down in the dumps. This was certainly true for Connie Monroe, who threw herself a pity party with wine and cigarettes every night after work during her divorce. But when she found out that her cousin had been diagnosed with cancer and the prognosis was not good, Connie had an AHA moment. She r...

Divorce means accepting that things didn’t go as planned and adjusting to major changes in your life. It’s about taking on challenges you’re not prepared for at a time when your confidence is shot. When Eykiena ‘Keena’ Crowley got divorced, she struggled with all of these issues too. But her background as a combat veteran in the US Army meant that she had practice adjusting to unanticipated change...

Most of us are familiar with the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But what if your experience doesn’t follow this linear pattern? Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one or navigating a divorce, you need tools to move through the trauma of loss and get to life on the other side. Krista St. Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, post-traumatic gr...

Most people think of narcissists as obnoxious and self-absorbed. They’re flashy, loud and charismatic. And it’s obvious that they’re looking out for #1. But a covert narcissist is much harder to identify. They are generally well-liked and well-respected by others. And the way they manipulate their partner is much more subtle and difficult to recognize. So, how do you know if you’re in a relationsh...

After 10 years of working in the divorce business, Judith Weigle reflected on the couples who were able to communicate well and navigate the process with less stress. And she identified the elements of what she calls a Heart-Healthy Divorce. So, what steps can you take to make your divorce more amicable and less acrimonious? Judith is Founder of Divorce Resource, Inc., a firm that provides both me...

Communication breakdown in a marriage often leads to divorce. But the way your partner triggers your nervous system often has nothing to do with them and everything to do with trauma you’ve experienced in the past. So, what if you could change the way your mind accesses that trauma and stay present with your partner in those moments? Dr. Don Wood, PhD, is CEO of the Inspired Performance Institute...

Matthew Fray considered himself a good guy. He didn’t lie. He didn’t cheat. He wasn’t violent. But his wife didn’t trust him, and the marriage ended in 2013. What subtle cues did Matthew miss? What led his ex to believe she couldn’t count on him? Today, Matthew is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. H...

In 2013, Ellen Bruno released the documentary Split: Divorce Through Kids’ Eyes. In the film, 12 kids aged six to 12 share their experience of their parents’ divorce. Ten years later, Ellen sat down with the same 12 kids for a sequel, Split UP: The TEEN Years. What did she learn about how to best support children through the process of divorce? Ellen is an award-winning filmmaker with a background...

Most women realize that the right team can help us move through the divorce process more quickly and easily. But what if you’ve already got a therapist and supportive friends and family—and you still feel stuck? Wendy Sterling is a top divorce recovery coach and healer, life transition specialist and creator of The Divorce Rehab program. She also serves as host of The Divorced Woman’s Guide podcas...

Do you have a hard time saying NO for fear of letting people down? Do you say YES out of obligation and then resent being coerced into something you didn’t really want to do? To make relationships work, it’s important to set clear boundaries. But first, you’ve got to take the time to figure out what you want. Leanne Kanzler is a psychologist and breakup coach who helps clients get to where they de...