Discovering Our Scars

When Ryan was a little girl, she told people that when she was all grown up she wanted to be a chair. When she was sixteen, a car accident left her a paraplegic. She wouldn’t be a chair, but she would live life from a wheelchair. From the days immediately following the accident, to trying out for the US Paralympic Team, to becoming a mom, Ryan has made the brave decision to live, really live. She ...

Sometimes life gives us an experience we don’t want to remember. Sometimes life gives us an experience we can’t bear to remember. But what happens when one of those memories finds its way into our consciousness? Can we trust it? Will others trust it? Steph and Beth talk about repressed and suppressed memories and how their resurfacing can invite us to genuine healing. Full transcript and show note...

Beth stands up in church every Sunday and preaches about God. Does that mean she has no doubts? Would having doubts make her a bad pastor? In this episode, Steph and Beth explore faith and doubt and how they can co-exist (or not). They also have an honest conversation about doubt related to institutions like church, government, school, and more. Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/...

We’ve probably all been told to stop crying. There’s something about tears and the emotions they represent that makes people uncomfortable. In this episode, Steph and Beth explore the cleansing power of tears and the discomfort they cause. Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod107 Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308 Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/...

Do you need an incentive to do the right thing? How often do we do the right thing without asking, “what’s in it for ME?” Steph and Beth talk about incentives of all sizes and how they seem to motivate (or not) people to do the right thing. Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod106 Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308 Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com...

Sandy Phillips Kirkham was just a teenager who loved church. It was a place she felt accepted and celebrated. When a new youth pastor was hired, he saw Sandy’s love for the church and used it against her. He started grooming her for a long-term abusive relationship before her sixteenth birthday. When the abuse was finally discovered, the church moved the pastor on to another congregation (after ce...

The pandemic has caused some of us to live in a sort of hibernation. Instead of spending time with friends in real life we’ve either not spent time with friends or we’ve settled for Zoom, social media, or some other slightly disconnected form of connection. As Steph and Beth spend time with friends again, they’re remembering how wonderful it is to have a community, a squad, or whatever you call th...

When we aren’t feeling our best, it can be hard to know what coping mechanism to reach for. Having a plan in advance is like preparing for a hurricane. You can stock your mental health toolkit with a list of healthy coping mechanisms, to reduce the chance that you will default to an unhealthy one. In episode 103, Steph and Beth share what’s in their healthy toolkit and why. As part of the Question...

Katie Langston joins Steph and Beth to talk about her memoir, Sealed: An Unexpected Journey Into the Heart of Grace. Katie grew up in a devoutly Mormon family where she learned that God’s love was conditional and her actions could cause God to reject her. She worried about her inability to please God so much that it triggered a form of OCD called scrupulosity. As an adult, Katie experienced the un...

Steph and Beth are both self-proclaimed rule followers, but sometimes the rules are meant to be broken (or, at least, bent)! Steph was always curious about the network of underground tunnels at Disney World. She looked forward to exploring them when she was hired to work there, but it turned out she didn’t technically have permission to access them. When a friend who was a former employee encourag...

It’s important to celebrate, but how often do we take the time to actually do it? Steph and Beth decided 100 episodes was definitely worth celebrating! They headed to Disney World to celebrate and record this episode. Celebration includes time to reflect on what has been accomplished as well as projecting what is to come. This episode includes all of that and more. Full transcript and show notes h...

Grief is uniquely experienced by each person, but Steph and Beth share their experiences with the grieving process and feelings of grief. This episode releases on the anniversary of two deaths in Beth’s personal life—her brother who died in 1999 and her neighbor who died in 2020. Steph shares what it was like to lose her grandparents during the pandemic. They also reflect on how the pandemic has b...

What makes something a sport and what makes someone an athlete? Steph and Beth have a conversation about whether competitive food eaters are athletes. Steph says yes, Beth says no. Have a listen and see where you land. Buy the host a coffee and/or tea: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/dospod — Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod98 Words we use: https://dospod.us/words Voicemail...

What is meant when someone says, “dress for the job you want”? It communicates that they think you should want more and, therefore, you are not currently enough. Steph and Beth never like to hear a “should,” including this one. This is a conversation about when pushing for more is a good thing and when it’s detrimental. Buy the host a coffee and/or tea: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/dospod — Full t...

As an undergrad, Laurel got an amazing opportunity. She participated in a summer research project in Armenia. She got more than she bargained for when a wild bear charged her in the forest, knocked her down, and began attacking her abdomen and pelvic area. With no time to decide whether to fight, flee, or freeze, Laurel went into survival mode. She tells Steph and Beth what happened, how she survi...

Beth served as an intern in the Spiritual Care Department at a local hospital for several months in early 2021. In this episode, she tells Steph about some of the characters she met. She talks about the most surprising conversations, the saddest times, and she shares what it was like to be around death on a regular basis. This conversation will get you thinking about surprising people you’ve met a...

Steph and Beth ask each other the ten questions from the show, The Actors’ Studio. They each have a different reaction to the idea of small talk and the questions themselves. This is a conversation about … conversation. Would you rather ask questions or answer questions? What makes asking and answering questions so challenging? Buy the host a coffee and/or tea: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/dospod...

In Episode 92, special guest Skaie Knox talked about her husband as a “kind person.” That got Steph and Beth thinking about kindness. What does it mean to be kind? When you hear the word “kindness,” do you think of acts of kindness or people who are kind? What’s the difference? Steph and Beth talk about their experiences with kindness and their experiences with attempted kindness (like the time Be...

Skaie Knox is a musician and storyteller who Steph met through their shared work as DIY professionals. In this episode, Skaie shares what it was like for her to grow up with an abusive and explosive father. She shares how that trauma has informed and influenced her journey, without defining who she is as a person. She used to face life fists up, always ready to defend herself and defend her right...

Steph and Beth both have a lifetime of experience being part of the Christian church. Although they normally avoid asking what others “should” do, this episode is an honest conversation about what the church (and all religions) should be doing to make the world a better place. Are their expectations misplaced or is should the church be doing more? Buy the host a coffee and/or tea: https://www.buym...

Steph and Beth both consider themselves allies to the LGBTQIA community. In this episode, Beth shares how her views have changed and how her ally-ship has matured over the years. She used to believe that a Christian with a same gender attraction would need to live a celibate lifestyle, but when she thought critically and carefully about that question, she reached a different conclusion. Every lesb...

Juneteenth is the celebration the emancipation of enslaved people in the US. The Emancipation Proclamation was signed in 1862, but it didn’t make its way to Texas until 1865. In this episode, Steph and Beth are joined by Dr. Darryl Scriven who shares his personal experience as an African American learning about and celebrating Juneteenth. We talk about the importance of understanding our history w...

Beth was recently summoned for jury duty. She had mixed feelings. She knew what it was like to present a case to a jury, but she had never been a juror before. Though she was curious, she doubted she would be chosen to serve and she worried the whole thing would be a waste of time. To her surprise, she was selected to be a juror and got to serve! Overall, Beth had a great experience. She and Steph...

Steph and Beth celebrate the second anniversary of the podcast! They introduce a new tagline to make it clear they are all about sharing personal experiences and learning from each other. Of course, honest conversations are the best way to make that happen and that’s still foundational to Discovering Our Scars. If you have a long-term goal or project, this episode will resonate with you and invite...

Steph and Beth are joined in this episode by Steph’s high school friend, Megan. As high school ended, Steph could see that Megan was struggling with depression. Unknown to Megan, Steph was struggling, too. Steph tried to “fix” Megan, rather than working on herself but Megan wasn’t ready. They drifted apart for a few years. When they reconnected, they realized how similar their struggles were, and...