Discovering Our Scars

Rather than making a New Year’s resolution, Steph and Beth invite you to take time for a New Year reflection. Instead of ending the episode with Questions for Reflection, this is an entire episode of Questions for Reflection. Steph and Beth take turns answering questions that reflect on what last year was and what they hope this year will be. There’s a 30-second pause between questions so you can...

It’s what Beth considers the most wonderful time of year—Christmas! Despite the importance of this holiday on the Christian calendar, some Christians spend the season being grumpy and unnecessarily aggressive, especially when they hear the phrase Happy Holidays. Christmas Trivia: https://bethdemme.com/christmastrivia Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod134 Voicemail & tex...

We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 4 of the audiobook and discuss it. Steph begins using Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI) as a coping mechanism and, later, admits it to her mom. Her parents immediately help her find a psychologist. This is an honest conversation about everything from pretending to be “normal” to the cleansin...

The typical “American Dream” is to work hard so you can play hard. Success means a family that looks a certain way, a home that looks a certain way, and a life that looks a certain way. And it’s all based on consumption. We buy more to feel more.  But is there another way? What is YOUR dream, how has it changed over time, and how will you achieve it? Full transcript and show notes here: https://bi...

Our special guest for this episode is Beth’s long-time friend Katrina. Katrina served in the US Army from 1998 to 2014. She served in the US, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Korea. She shares with Steph and Beth what it was like to be in the Army and what it’s like now to be a female veteran. How does it feel for her when someone thanks her for her service? How can civilians best show their appreciation to...

This is an honest conversation about what happens when we die. Who decides who goes to Hell? Do all Christians believe in Hell? Does Beth have all the answers about the afterlife since she is a pastor? (Spoiler alert: She does not.) Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod130 Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308 Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/ Beth D...

We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 3 of the audiobook and discuss it. This chapter is about Steph’s first few hours in the mental hospital, when she was in a holding pen like an animal. We talk about some of the patients Steph was with and what it was like for her when her family refused to help her get out. Full transcript...

Steph and Beth talk about scars, but what are the steps they’ve taken to be able to actually say they love their scars? Do they love their scars? Why? Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod128 Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308 Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/ Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

Lisa thought she had a son and twin daughters, but by age four one of the twins began to describe themselves differently. Now, Lisa has a son and boy/girl twins. She generously shares with Steph and Beth how she knew her child’s gender expression was not a phase, but was an accurate description of who he is. Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod127 Voicemail & text: (850)...

Beth has said before that she chooses to be an easy “yes.” Steph, however, asks questions and gets information before saying yes or no. Beth admits she is a people pleaser with a serious case of FOMO. Steph confesses that she once said no when a friend asked her to be a bridesmaid. What does it mean to be a yes-person? What are the repercussions of saying yes when you should have said no? Full tra...

Steph might have a chip on her shoulder when it comes to men, but the reality is men have tremendous power. They make decisions that impact the lives of women in huge ways, often with very little input from women. Steph and Beth discuss why they think men need to do more to change the power dynamics we all live with. Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod125 Voicemail & tex...

We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 2 of the audiobook and discuss it. When Steph was fourteen, she was diagnosed with depression. She reacted by denying her feelings and trying to put on a happy face. In high school, she discovered a love for video production and re-built her Girl Scout Troop, but the depression was still t...

Beth’s daughter, Hannah, recently turned 18 and graduated from high school.  In this episode, Steph and Beth toss out not-so-rapid-fire questions at her about life and what she’s figured out so far. She answers questions about politics, personal rights, and more. When you were 18, how would you have answered these questions? How have your answers changed? Full transcript and show notes here: https...

Steph’s memoir, Discovering My Scars, is the inspiration for this podcast. For the first time, Steph and Beth listen to the audiobook version together and discuss it. This episode covers the Introduction and Chapter One. Steph introduces the story and explains her motivation for writing and sharing it. Then we are with her as she uses NSSI as a coping mechanism and ends up in a mental hospital—a t...

The events of the last few years have helped Steph and Beth see that there’s a lot they don’t know about racism in America. This episode is about what they’ve been learning recently, specifically about the racism at the heart of the case of the Groveland Four and the Rosewood massacre. Both happened in Florida, the state where Steph and Beth were born, raised, and educated, but they only recently...

Rev. Dr. Latricia Edwards Scriven is a joy-filled person. She actually exudes joy. She joins Steph and Beth for a conversation about why joy matters, how it’s different from happiness, and how it is a skill that can be practiced. Latricia explains that there is nothing naïve or innocent about joy, it is a choice. Sometimes joy is even an act of defiance. Full transcript and show notes here: https:...

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and it’s also the anniversary of when Steph and Beth launched this podcast! In this episode, they talk about some of their darkest mental health moments. If you’ve experienced darkness, know there’s no stigma attached to you. Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod119 Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308 Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.st...

We are programmed to think it’s wrong to be selfish. But what if … it’s good? Steph and Beth explore the benefits of selfishness. Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod118 Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308 Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/ Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

Beth is a pastor in The United Methodist Church, but in this episode she and Steph discuss whether she should leave it behind. The UMC is undergoing a schism of sorts. Current denominational rules exclude LGBTQ+ Christians from serving as pastors and prohibit all pastors from performing weddings for LGBTQ+ individuals. There is a broad movement to change those rules and some who want to keep those...

When Steph was in the mental hospital, Pastor Matt visited her. He brought her clothes and the journal that ended up being the beginning of her book, Discovering My Scars. You heard Steph’s side of the story in Episode 2 and here you can hear Matt’s side of Steph’s story. How did they end up in the same city? How did he know she was in the mental hospital? What did he think when he heard that wher...

Ballerinas and figure skaters are graceful. Some folks exhibit grace under pressure. We say grace before a meal (at least, that’s what people call it where Steph and Beth live). So, what IS grace anyway? Steph asks Pastor Beth to explain “grace,” and together they explore how grace exists culturally outside of any religious context. What is the connection between grace and gratitude? Why does it f...

For two years, the COVID pandemic has been our shared global experience. Two years in, we have to ask, have things changed FOR GOOD? Have they changed permanently? Have things changed in a way that is beneficial? Steph and Beth review their own lives and find new commitments to public health as well as new friendships and other positives that have emerged from the last two years. Full transcript a...

From the earliest days of dreaming about the podcast, Steph and Beth knew they wanted to have Dr. Jill as a guest. The long-awaited day has arrived! Dr. Jill joins Steph and Beth for a conversation about the kinds of people we all need to stop wasting our emotions on. This is a great conversation about narcissism, psychopathy, sociopathy, and more. Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit....

Let’s face it, no one gets through life without some brokenness. We don’t choose our brokenness, but we can choose how we react to it. Do we see our brokenness as something ugly, or can we see the beauty in our healing and recovery? We aren’t saying we are broken but nonetheless beautiful, we are saying we are broken and that brokenness? It’s beautiful. Full transcript and show notes here: https:/...

Some words trigger an involuntary reaction or feeling in us. Steph and Beth share personal experiences with words that bother them. For Beth, it’s hearing someone claim the Bible CLEARLY says something. For Steph, it’s being called GIRL. For both of them, it’s being told they SHOULD do or say something. Sometimes trigger words are a minor annoyance, but sometimes they relate to past trauma and har...