Delight Your Marriage

If you're new to Delight Your Marriage, this is the first episode you should listen to.   Many people come to my resources with a question on how to make their marriage better but they really don't know where to start.    This is a rundown on the most important philosophical underpinnings of Delight Your Marriage.   This gives the best introduction to the foundational principles that I use with pe...

So, today's a pretty important day. And you may listen to this in the future which will be relevant.    More than ever, our land is divided and we have strong convictions on right and wrong. In Jesus' day political issues based on power, oppression, greed, and con... plagued everyone he interacted with. They were impacted at a personal level.   Jesus' sights were different than those experiencing...

Hi there!   I hope things are going well for you. I have an inspirational story to share with you today. It's a story of challenge and ultimately hope and healing.    Alexis and Justin ( re-definingnormal.com ) grew up in homes that had significant abuses, including sexual and drug abuse. By societal expectations, they wouldn't have gotten through that pain.   But God intervened. Both went through...

I'd like to give you a view of communication that isn't repressing feelings but also isn't open with all of them, at least not all at once. And when you are open slowly, you are in a way that encourages the good rather than discouraging everything. I think in our fast-paced society nowadays, we feel this inappropriate pressure to share all the feelings we have about a topic (sex is a big one!) wit...

Hi there,    This podcast is for men (or the women who want to peer inside of hearts of men) it's all about the specific Stages to Sexual Freedom that a husband can employ to transform his marriage---even if he's the only one doing the work.   If you're an action-taker once you know the process you're going to start and fix this once and for all, this is the podcast for you.   I believe that those...

This interview is with a man who had suffered in intimacy in his marriage for 14 years.  She had intense anxiety (I've been there!) and it made intimacy very difficult for both of them. Sex would happen maybe 1x a month, but it was never something they could talk about. And masturbation was something he turned to alleviate the loneliness.  Now they make love 3x per week--and she initiates 90% of t...

Hi there,   Not sure if it was for you... but for me it was a whirlwind of a weekend. I put on a church conference on Saturday (in Spanish--eek!) which was scary, but God came through in an awesome way, which was so cool!   Also, on Friday I had the chance to interview 3 different graduates from my Masculinity Reclaimed program. Today's podcast is of Charles.  His story is hard to believe---but on...

Hi there,    If you're going through hard times, this is particularly applicable because we need a lot of love right now. The right kind of compassion and care from our spouse and those around us.      The best way to encourage your spouse is to attract them. I find it clear in the Bible that people have to be attracted towards Jesus by us living like him. Jesus did miracles and was compassionate ...

Hi there! Hoping your day is going well? There's a lot of difficulty you may be facing right now, and one of the best gifts I can give you is rest. Well, not me but God. It seems strange to think rest could help you cope with the intense struggle you're dealing with, but you may be quite surprised. I'd like to share a podcast episode that is dear to my heart and my growth. Why does rest matter to...

In this episode, I have a former student who is in his 70s and has been married over 45 years.  Not only has he and his wife used some of these interventions themselves, he is also very well-versed in the research behind it.  He nor I am a doctor and this is not meant to be taken as medical advice, but it is worth asking your doctor about these possible solutions. He also talks about the important...

I'm excited to bring you an interview with a former student, Ben.   His upbringing was tense and he tried to stay away from home. His parents' relationship left a lot to be desired. His wife didn't have a man in the home to understand what marriage could look like.   Outwardly their marriage was very successful--but Ben knew that if he wanted his marriage to be passionate he  was going to have to...

With so much going on in the world, I think people are making big changes in their lives. Given that people are becoming more aware of their own mortality, I think its making them decide to take action. My encouragement in today's podcast: 256-How to Not Fail at Marriage, comes from a failure at marriage --ehemm --me! When my first marriage failed I blamed him. When my second marriage was on the r...

Most people don't use that word anymore.  But I think "coveting" is still very relevant to our world today. And is still an egregious sin we need to take seriously for our benefit and God's Kingdom. When I look at the Ten Commandments, I used to think they weren't all that related to one another... and they didn't have much to do with marriage or sex.  1- But looking at them again, there's a threa...

Have you been hurt? Have you been disappointed?  By your spouse. By those you love. By God.   I think the answer has to be yes. Disappointment is part of the human experience. Jesus was disappointed and hurt by those he loved. But he somehow put his disappointments in a category where it didn't slow down His mission to do God's will.   In this episode, I share how I felt disappointed by my husband...

Hi there, Hoping you're well? In challenges, my aim is to keep showing up and helping inspire and empower you to have a wonderful marriage and intimacy in it. To that end... This is Part 2 of my Interview with my husband about his perspectives on fatherhood (and why that makes me so attracted to him!) Is it his ripped abs and amazing biceps? ​ Well... let's just say he's got a very healthy "dad bo...

Like the title? LOL. I know, I know... I'm too much.  But it was intriguing right? If not... pretend it was something more mature like: "How to Be the Man Your Wife Is Attracted To, Hint: Fatherhood Matters."  That's what today's podcast is about. Here's a story that's not in the episode...   Last night, our just-turned-7-year-old insisted that we relax on the couch with our wine while he made us...

You have an Assignment (1 Cor 7:17). A plan a purpose God laid out for you to do. A set group of people He wants you to impact. Jesus didn't assign you to everyone.  He even had limits on himself.  Jesus himself limited his prayers: "I am not praying for the world, but for those whom you have given me" John 17:9   But  if we think that we're supposed to be doing everything, we'll miss who He is re...

This is probably THE question I hear in one way or another over and over again. Lights off, sheets up and "vanilla" sex is the refrain that is very frequent.  Why is she like this? How can this change? What about specific things she's squeamish about like "intimate photos of us", anal sex, and mirrors? If you'd like more insight on anal sex: delightyourmarriage.com/sod All that is covered in our c...

To my beloved listener, I want to encourage your heart in trying to understand what's happening and why. I know you're doing hard work to figure out what your role is and should be in all of this. And I commend that so much.

Playfulness doesn't seem important now that life is so busy and stressful, but it's actually central to a good marriage and a PASSIONATE marriage.   When you think about what your relationship was at first, it probably was full of laughter. Right? The value of playfulness- Laughter makes you smarter Makes you more creative Improves your immune systems The JOY of the Lord is our strength Rejoice......

(Note: Free resources offered in this podcast for a review are no longer available.) As a husband, maybe you're wondering where the passionate nights went from your first months or years.  Your wife may be wondering where the romantic DAYS went. But, maybe you're stuck at home and it feels like you're not able to do any kind of romance given the circumstances.  I hear you... I will add that I live...

So, what I've noticed is that all of us are insecure. For some of us it's more obvious than others.   It shows up in life, and it shows up in the bedroom.   I want to talk to you about what men are insecure about around intimacy and I want to talk about what women are insecure about around intimacy.   We have the opportunity to help our spouse feel more secure.   But how do we help our spouse when...

Addiction runs rampant... for most of us. Myself included.  Especially when we're facing tough things: anxiety, pain, loneliness, vulnerability, identity, significance. During a stressful time we are trying to avoid the pain... so we move towards the pleasure of distraction, entertainment, alcohol, gossip, food, video games, cigarettes...   God has specific insight into what to do on a consistent...

I'm very excited to share this interview with Dr. Kahn a renowned cardiologist (seen on Dr. Phil and The Doctors tv series among other great accolaides). This is my second time having him on the podcast and you're in for a treat! What you put in your mouth affects your intimacy. (And I mean outside of the bedroom! :) From libido to sexual response, our diet helps or hurts. We also talk about COVID...

Hi there,  Happy Good Friday. It feels a bit strange going to service online, but the beautiful thing about Jesus is we get to meet Him anywhere because of what He did for us on this day so long ago. I am curious how you're doing? I've been praying for you and hope you're doing ok.  We haven't chatted for a while because I've been a bit behind. My husband and I got COVID. The real one.  You probab...