Delight Your Marriage

"It's part of life." But it really is, IF we're growing. If we numb and distract ourselves away from God's growth opportunities, we can really get off track.  When you have made a mistake, own it, apologize for it, learn from it, and tether yourself to Christ BECAUSE of it.  We can't do this on our own. We're not supposed to. And if you think you can, sin is probably getting in there.  When you ma...

When she says, "We just don't communicate," or "You never listen,"...she is talking about this learnable skill.    Listen to her heart. Listen to understand. Listen to let her know you understand and care.   Not listening to respond or even defend yourself.    It is to listen to her emotions and sit with her in her pain. To be curious and to give her a safe space to share. When she shares her emot...

It's ok to not feel amazing in your marriage all the time. This is real life and sometimes things happen.  Someone gets sick. Someone is tired. Someone was selfish. Someone wasted away their entire Saturday watching superhero movies and didn't feel like being an intentionally seductive tigress. (This last one was definitely me).    Your spouse is wonderful, but even in the best marriage there will...

If you've ever seen a headline (one of mine or someone else's), "They did [this] and got [this]" you may have experienced a "transactional trigger".    My motivation is to attract people who need transformation in their marriages.    What I call "missional marketing", some may call "bait and switch", which is kind of true, too.   You may be someone who came for a certain outcome, but you listened...

In our family, we are going through some important paradigm shifts around parenting - through a coach, articles, books, etc. It's great! It's also hard to look at the mistakes.  The truth is that it is hard to change. It is not only difficult to do things differently, but it also takes courage. It takes courage to say, "You know what? I was doing things wrong and now I'm going to do it better."  I...

Duty sex" or "lazy or selfish husband". These are phrases I hear a lot. And it's sad.  It's certainly not what a good and loving marriage should be. "Duty sex" often means a wife's body might be present during physical intimacy, but her mind and enthusiasm are far, far away. These are painful to a man's heart.  And "lazy or selfish husband" is usually the man who from her perspective takes her for...

I talk a lot about success stories. To inspire you that transformation can happen and God does it all the time! But this is really all about unconditional love. That your actions and words towards your spouse are "I love you no matter what."  Why is that such a difficult posture to take with our spouse? I think our culture and society teaches us to compare, wrong ways of interacting with our spous...

2 Different Stories: 1 - Norm's wife shared that she wanted to end the marriage. That she didn't like or love him anymore.  ​ He prayed fervently,  listened to,  and read lots of resources (including to all of mine :), but he didn't realize he was missing some key components that were actually undermining the good he was doing. ​ He joined  Masculinity Reclaimed  (MR) because he wanted the marriag...

ANNOUNCEMENT: For those of you already registered for the FREE Masterclass---they are being released at 7pmEST, TODAY.  Or sign up here: delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass   --   About 15-20% of couples are "sexless" meaning very few instances of intimacy per year. When I work with these couples it's evident that both people are hurting. ​​And often the husband doesn't realize he's injuring his w...

Have you ever felt like your intimacy was just a duty that needed to be marked off the "to-do" list? What about that sex was great physically but emotionally it was empty? Or, have you gone to bed wondering why this amazing, God-given thing is causing so much strife in your marriage? Kyle & Ali were both there at one point in their marriage… Ali saw sex as a "thing" that was constantly there peste...

Anne and Glenn lived in a blissful honeymoon state at the beginning of their relationship, until their relationship quit growing and grew stale. They described it as being stuck in winter.   Anne felt like intimacy was an obligation and sex felt forced. She did not feel emotionally connected and he did not feel physically connected, so the suffering began.... and stayed for over two decades.    Th...

If you want your marriage to change... this is required. Faith. Faith that it will change. But how do you even get there? How does it relate to your life? I have some extremely practical ways for you to have a renewed sense of faith that things can change. Keep in mind, if you don't have faith things will change---undoubtedly they never will. It is so easy to compare our lives and our circumstance...

Today's interview is with Jeremiah, a graduate of my Masculinity Reclaimed program. They had a pretty good marriage. And originally their sex life was pretty good, but life happened…   Like many of my listeners, once kids came into the picture things began to deteriorate in that department.    She no longer felt emotionally connected and he no longer felt fulfilled intimately.    Jeremiah realized...

Frequently, men are craving intimacy more than their wives. If you're in that category, then this podcast will help you.    I have some very important lifestyle and in-the-moment advice for you when you are in the mood but she is not.    These are productive things you can do. And if you know me at all, I'm rooting for generous and fiery passion in your marriage, but... how do you get there?   Som...

Sex motivates us to be the men and women He wants us to be.    Men have to discipline themselves to be more like Jesus for her to want to have sex with him. For a woman to desire sex, she has to be at peace, confident, and aligned with God's priorities in who/what gets her time.    So, this podcast is directed towards women because often women are the organizers and they are the ones who tend to s...

Darcy is a busy business owner, mother, and grandmother--married 28 years.  She loves God and has had a better than average marriage all that time. A friend of hers invited her to listen to the podcast--saying it had brought them to tears.  And when she listened, she too was brought to tears with a very different understanding of intimacy than she had ever realized.  God did an utter miracle in he...

I love new years because everything feels fresh and energized. Even though practically speaking it's the same as every other day, you just have to start training yourself to use a new number at the end of your dates. But I am all about using whatever energy there is to increase my chances of growth and change--in God's will.  So, that's what today's podcast is about. Becoming stronger in your visi...

There are too many marriages flirting with divorce. You may be one, if not you probably know several. Maybe you're at a spot where you don't want to be there.  ...you want to run away.  ...you're exhausted.  ...your spirit is broken.  Maybe you've only ever thought it or maybe you've admitted it to others.  I want to invite you to take the power you have to see that there may be a real strategy to...

When we have a warm, loving culture in a family, passionate intimacy is the result. Or is it the cause? -- If you're listening to this in the present, our world is in many challenges and the holidays may look different than they ever have for your family. How can we see this as a gift? If you're a husband...  ​-you have an opportunity to shift the culture of your marriage to one that attracts your...

My conversation today is with a wife who had a persistent husband.    After he worked on himself (!) he highly encouraged her to work with me in a program. At first, she wasn't happy about it and she felt pushed into it. But through the process of understanding who her husband is... different than who she is, she discovered that God may be asking of her something that she didn't expect.  For wives...

This is part 2 with my husband where we're talking about what seduction means to men.  Husbands: I encourage you to "catch" my husband's heart. That's what's so attractive. That spirit is what encourages me to be generous in the ways my husband desires.  If you want more insight, on how to introduce your wife to my material, I have a special FREE Advice for Men To Invite Their Wives training.    W...

Hi there,    Today is extra special because I have on the most amazing man I've ever met. Ehemm... my husband. :) If you want to know why I am the way I am (well, regarding the generous things in intimacy), it's because this gentleman loved me really, really well and continues to every day.   It's not necessarily intuitive, but it is God's way.   This conversation will be instructive for wives --...

As a wife, this is something I really struggled with.   Why would he want me to do such embarrassing things? Does it remind him of sin? I don't want to be associated with his past. Also, it's not my personality.  And in general, I'm not comfortable.    I had SO many more hang-ups around this.    But, one thing kept knawing at me. Why is this all over our society?   Specifically seduction. Yes, the...