Dear Little Me

CSA Childhood sexual abuse survivor. Shanon is a beautiful soul.  I connected with her on Instagram where she has an amazing following of trauma survivors who are finding connection and community @survivingchiildhoodtrauma. And Shanon’s story is one of the hardest there is. Shanon never met her Mom. She died whilst giving birth to Shanon. And Shanon was raised by her father. Under his care sh...

Intergenerational trauma. CPTSD. A parent with unhealed trauma directly influences the experience for their child. The way a parent with unhealed trauma raises their child affects the child, how that child raises their child and so on down the line. It is an intergenerational transmission of wounding. An inheritance of hurt. Dr Tanner Wallace is a professional guide facilitator, mentor and coach i...

Heal your inner wounds When Amanda was growing up she felt she was never good enough. Coming from a family whose language revolved around negativity and limiting beliefs and with a history of depression, Amanda struggled at school and felt disconnected. Regardless she did all the things. Finished school, went to uni, got a degree, got married, had a child, ticking off all the boxes required for a...

What is domestic abuse? Domestic abuse is at epidemic proportions across the globe.  How does this happen to so many women?  In the story I am sharing with you this week the path is clear.  Nita grew up in an environment that was unsafe.  She spent many years doing the very best she could to make this environment work for her as she learned to people please and abandon herself...

What is domestic abuse? Domestic abuse is at epidemic proportions across the globe.  How does this happen to so many women?  In the story I am sharing with you this week the path is clear.  Nita grew up in an environment that was unsafe.  She spent many years doing the very best she could to make this environment work for her as she learned to people please and abandon herself...

How does unresolved childhood trauma affect adulthood? Our world is filled with unwellness. The rates of chronic illness are through the roof. The pharmaceutical industry is pumping out medications to fix diagnoses and bring us relief from thousands of chronic health symptoms every day. How did we become so unwell? Is there a better way? Sarah Harvey believes so. Sarah has spent her life fighting...

Breaking the cycle of the mother wound. Our mother wound is often our grandmother wound. It’s our ancestral trauma. Passed down from mother to child down the line until somebody decides to raise their hand and say ‘this stops with me’. It’s a strong and courageous move to be that person. The one that decides to break those generational patterns. Because you are stepping outside of the framewo...

Symptoms of childhood trauma in adults. This week we are taking a deep dive into childhood trauma.  What is it? where does it come from? How does it affect us and how can we heal and grow and live the life we wish for.  My guest this week is Joanna Filidor a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specialises in the treatment of trauma.  Joanna is passionate about helping survivo...

How to heal from a father wound. Justin Connor’s relationship with his Dad was turbulent. Growing up in a home with a father who was alcoholic and out of control at times, Justin learned to parent himself at an early age. When his parents divorced Justin and his brother were caught in the middle of a bitter custody battle. Justin has spent many years on a healing journey looking for self love and...

How to heal from a toxic mother. Our mothers are our nurturers, gatherers, protectors.  They bring us into the world and we rely on them for everything.  And so when that relationship becomes toxic, it is one of the hardest things to bear.  Marci's Mom and Dad had a difficult relationship from as far back as Marci can remember.  There was always tension, anger, fighting.  ...

Can trauma stop you from eating? Childhood trauma, anxiety and anorexia. Paulina was born in Poland.  Her grandmother was just 19 when World War II broke out. It was a traumatic time and her grandmother was forced into hiding to avoid the concentration camps. At one point she was made to hide in a bread oven. The deep anxiety carried from those years was eventually passed down to Paulina’s mo...

How to deal with a narcissistic mother. Having a narcissistic mother can be a living hell.  It can change everything. Manipulation, gaslighting and abuse are an everyday occurrence. Mostly as kids we have no idea what is going on. There can be so much confusion as we try to change our behavior to meet the narcissistic mother's expectations. We believe that if we can just do the right thing, p...

The consequences of emotionally detached parents. Did you ever wish you had a family where everyone was calm and happy? There were no raised voices. There were no angry words. Your parents provided a good home with home cooked meals and a warm bed and you always knew you were loved?  It feels like you would have everything you needed right? But what about real, deep connection?  What abo...

How Do You Survive A Cult? Between the ages of 0 - 5 years we are absorbing everything.  Like a sponge.  We are 'trained' by the world around us to take on the same beliefs, understandings, ideas as our caregivers. The way we do life is learnt and assimilated. And if we grow up in an extremely religious environment, this way is our normal. It's the only world we know. Luis grew up in the...

What happens to the perfect child? Emma was always described by her mom as a good kid. Never in trouble or acting out. She was so good!  But what does good really mean? That you are obeying all the rules? suppressing all the emotions? playing the perfect role? Appearing to the world like the perfect child? And does burying who you really are, never having permission to express an emotion, cre...

What happens to the perfect child? Emma was always described by her mom as a good kid. Never in trouble or acting out. She was so good! But what does good really mean? That you are obeying all the rules? suppressing all the emotions? playing the perfect role? Appearing to the world like the perfect child? And does burying who you really are, never having permission to express an emotion, does this...

How does it feel to be an adopted child? Ali was adopted at birth by a mum and dad who were desperate to provide a loving home to a baby. And that’s exactly what they did.  Both very loving, very giving parents who gave Ali a really wonderful childhood. And right from the start Ali was aware she had been adopted. There were no secrets or big revelations. But what happens when you begin to see...

Adult Children Of Alcoholics. Leslie knows all too well how alcoholism can run through families. Growing up with parents and an older brother who also drank, Leslie was alone and lonely much of the time. Leslie's mom worked hard in the house during the day but once 6pm rolled around she declared she was 'off duty', began drinking and Leslie would often spend the evenings alone. When Leslie was ten...

What causes child addiction? Do you have a deep sense of who you are?  Do you always show up as your authentic self?  Voice your opinions regardless of whether they are popular? Walk into a room and have no cares about who is there and what other people think about you? Jonathan was a talented kid with a love of sport.  rom a very young age Jonathan learnt to put on a mask. To be an...

What are the signs of being codependent? Shannon is an Intuitive Energy Healer. She can read energy, is highly sensitive and uses her psychic gifts to connect in with her clients. As Shannon says herself, you teach what you know and Shannon has had a lifetime of experience reading the energies of her highly volatile family members just to survive. Shannon's mother is bi-polar and she and Shannon's...

How does addiction affect the entire family? Mel grew up with a Mom and Dad who were very young and still enjoying the party life. Mel's earliest memories are of fun mixed with chaos.  She had to grow up fast, trying to be a part of this adult world whilst also trying to find a way to control it. And then over time Mel's Dad became alcohol and drug addicted. He would sometimes be the fun and...

What is generational grief? Kim didn't feel the love growing up.  Her mother felt Kim was too sour and serious and there was a disconnect between mother and daughter.  But Kim's mother was dealing with a series of miscarriages and so much loss and grief.  And Kim's mother's mother was in active grief for many years when Kim's mother was a child. And that's generational trauma right...

Healing the mother wound. Bianca describes her family as typically Italian.  Lots of aunties and cousins with everyone up in everyone else's business, giving their opinions freely about how you were meant to live your life.  Except when there were more serious issues involved.  Like mental health, depression or the inability to cope.  These things were usually swept under the c...

Factors contributing to drug abuse amongst youth. Amanda's parents were divorced when she was five years old and Amanda's mom raised her two kids alone.  Painfully shy, Amanda had to attend a new school every year as the family moved often.  She was regularly left at home alone with her little brother and increasingly felt responsible for her mother's changing moods.  There was ange...

Women in forced marriages.   How would you feel if at 12 years old your parents were talking to you about getting married to a complete stranger within the next few years? How would you feel if at 15 ? you began meeting prospective husbands who were 30 years old? How would you feel if by 19 there was so much pressure to be married you just had to choose someone because you felt there was no w...