Dating, Relationships, and Disability

 “Joey” Pagano,  a Central New York-based journalist, columnist, and writer. He recently obtained my masters degree in Cultural Foundations of Education and certificate of advanced study in Disability Studies from Syracuse University’s School of Education. He graduated from Syracuse’s S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications in May 2021, one year early, and am pursuing a career in j...

Check out our Dating Memberships: Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services...

Today I want to focus on transitional behavior change in dating. In this episode, we will be discussing how to change your behavior in small ways to get the results in dating and relationships that you want. Whether you're moving from casual dating to a committed relationship or just trying to work up the courage to put yourself out there, these transitions can be challenging, and changing your be...

I'm sharing a Q & A session from the dating presentation in Episode 72 I  gave to the Myositis Association. Malati Marlene Shinazy from the Myostis community dropped a wisdom bomb on  the best question - and the only question - you should ask on a first date. We also talk about: Ableism in dating The Promotional Self versus the Real Self in Dating How to disclose a disability Sex ver...

Listen to a live workshop I gave to the Myositis Association .  You'll hear the three essentials to dating with a disability. The simple breakdown is: Beliefs - You have to have a positive belief system about yourself, your disability, and your potential for dating.  A Dating Plan - A lot of people want to date, dream about it, hope for it, but don't really plan for it. You need a plan f...

For Valentine's Day, I wanted to share a story of a couple living out dating, relationships, and disability. Victoria is a 32 year old woman who was born prematurely with an official diagnosis of spastic diplegia cerebral palsy within her first year. She is  a full-time wheelchair user - college educated with a degree in Spanish.  Sean is a science writer, maker, cat dad, and halfway dec...

This year we're aiming to make dating EASIER for you. Join us for lunch of Valentine's Day, bring a question or dating dilemma you're dealing with, and let us share some solutions with you. Sign up here to join us on Valentine's Day at 12pm EST. Check out our Dating Memberships: Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities)...

“Consult your own heart and decide what kind of person you want to be,”  -Chris Lowney, Heroic Living  Often when we’re dating and not getting the results we want, ie, not getting dates or people even looking at our profile, it can get pretty discouraging. That discouragement can certainly intensify the loneliness and frustration you feel about dating. This may cause you to think, What e...

If you saw the title of this podcast and thought, Wait a minute, you’re always saying how you need dating confidence. And while i still agree with this, I think one of the ways we grow the most in life is to consider different alternatives to looking at our own ideas so they're not etched in stone. I recently read a great book that i was actually asked to review before it’s published. It will be o...

Today is a big day at my company, Radiant Abilities, because we’re taking a deeper dive into our mission of helping “move the needle” on people with disabilities being seen as dating and relationship partners.  As I have mentioned previously on past shows, we spent most of last year researching what people with disabilities were experiencing when it came to dating. Here are some highlights we...

Before we begin, I want to invite you to a free workshop next week. We’re actually offering two. The first is for people wanting to date, called Three Essentials to Make Dating Easier. In this workshop, you’ll learn how to take overwhelm and frustration out of dating. You’ll learn how to do this by focusing on increasing your dating self esteem, having a dating plan, and follow through. The worksh...

Did you know that January 8, which was just two days ago if you’re listening live to this podcast, is the “best” day of the year to be doing online dating? The theory behind this is its due to the combination of New Year’s resolutions and the large number of post holiday break ups that drive people to online dating sites. Apparently, right about now is an optimal time to be online dating because t...

This is going to be a slightly different episode today. Usually most of the episodes are geared toward people with disabilities and providing dating advice and strategies. Today, I want to turn the attention to professionals who work in disability services, whether you’re a special educator, program coordinator, direct service provider, or executive director. My mission and the mission of my compa...

We're going to make dating easier in 2023!  Coming in late January, Dating Made Easier, a monthly membership that will teach you dating and relationship skills that will transform you and your dating journey in the following areas: Increase Dating Self  Esteem  - Learn how to identify your unique Power to Attract the dating experiences and relationships you want. Grow Your Confidenc...

There are a lot of hard parts of dating - having the courage to put yourself out there, facing the possibility of rejection, getting hurt, having difficult conversations, and the list can go on and on. Sometimes it certainly may not feel worth it, but it is, especially if you want to share your life with someone. Today I want to talk about a dating difficulty that wasn’t on that brief list - putti...

How can we change society to accommodate disability? I was recently at a conference in which this was asked of the audience in a workshop on presuming competence and ableism.  It got me thinking what if we were to substitute the word society with dating? How can we change dating to accommodate disability? That question in itself may be the rest of my life’s work. It’s huge. It’s the answer to...

Today I want to flip the script a little. Normally I’m encouraging people who are out there dating and meeting people to focus on yourself, your thoughts, your behaviors, and what you want. All of those things you should definitely do. But sometimes it helps to just consider what your dates or people you want to be your dates are thinking. Remember, a thought doesn’t make anything real. This actua...

Ableism is a system of false beliefs that discriminate against people with disabilities in society and can be quite hurtful and damaging to your self-esteem and confidence. The good news is that you don't need to buy into ableism. Yes, it's out there but it doesn't need to define you. To feel more empowered over the effects of ableism, let's first look at how it has affected you.  What are so...

If you’re someone out there trying to date or even wanting to date and maybe you’re not yet seeing the results you want, it may be challenging to feel grateful for the dating process. When you’re feeling lonely, isolated, and not receiving the attention you are so craving from others, being grateful may very well be the last thing you want to feel. But it could be so helpful. Hear me out on this....

Are you someone who has difficulty dating because of others in your life not being receptive to the idea of you dating? I continue to hear about this happening. The supports in someone’s life are just not open to the idea of dating. They say no, you can’t date, even though they have no authority to do this. Keep in mind, in most states, even legal guardianship, doesn’t give someone the authority t...

One of the most significant barriers I have found in both working with people with disabilities on dating and relationships, as well as counseling people is how to undo a negative belief. It can be real hard to do so, especially when you had others give you negative messages, reacted negatively to you, or you haven’t received the results you have wanted in your dating pursuits.  Just to expla...

The most common questions people ask when wanting to date is how do I meet people. I certainly wondered about this when I was single. Most of my friends were married and by the time I was in my 30s, I really didn’t want to hang out in a bar. So how do you meet people?  I have some ideas. As with much of what I recommend, it involves strategies and you’ll need to actually do it. Familiarity Fa...

Chris Johnson describes himself as a 42-year-old man in a wheelchair with Cerebral Palsy,  He says, "My experience with dating and relationships amounts to a series of unrequited crushes throughout my adolescence and adulthood. I’ve never been on a date or had a girlfriend. In the past two years or so, I’ve really grown emotionally and spiritually, and I feel ready to enter a committed romant...

This may sound in opposition to what I normally talk about when it comes to dating and relationships. If you’re having fear and doubt about yourself in the dating and relationship, that can actually be a good sign. And you’re saying, “Wait a minute, don’t you preach self esteem and confidence when dating and in relationships?” Yes, I do, but having good self esteem and confidence doesn’t mean you’...

If you’re listening to this around the time that it’s published, we’re newly into the last quarter of the year. It seems every year, although we know October, November and December come every year, we are surprised by its arrival. Did you have plans and goals for yourself this year, maybe around dating and relationships? Was this going to be the year that things finally changed and you met someone...