Dating, Relationships, and Disability

Today we’re talking about the last strategy in our mini series on the four strategies for dating successfully with a disability. While all the strategies are critical, this is probably the most important one to do. Take action. Do something. Put yourself out there. Otherwise, how are you going to be successful dating? Over my career, both as a mental health counselor and as a teacher and trainer i...

Today we’re talking about strategy #3 in our four part series on four strategies for dating successfully with a disability. Strategy 3 is about looking at how you communicate about your disability. And I’m not just talking about disclosing your disability. Check out episode 12 for that.  Today I want to discuss how do you talk about your disability in general. Is it positive? Affirming? How d...

We’re back for strategy #2 in our mini series on the Four Strategies to Dating Successfully with a Disability.  How do you describe yourself to potential dates? Do you sound like someone a person would like to get to know?  Are you thinking “Ummm….I’m not sure?”  Well, then we need to talk about that because how you describe yourself is SOOOO important. My friend, it actually begins...

We’re beginning a mini-series over the next few weeks, based on my workshop, Four Strategies to Dating Successfully with a Disability. Each week I’ll give you bit size tips for how to tackle each strategy. The strategies are: Increasing “dating confidence” Writing a kick butt dating profile - even if you’re not doing online dating Communicating effectively with a date about your disability Develop...

Bryony Grealish is a food influencer, speaker, trainer, No Thumbs Chef Challenge show host, and is the owner of The Fingerless Kitchen, LLC. A Syracuse native, Brie is a wife and mom to two vibrant, sweet boys.  She was born with a rare genetic condition called Ectrodactyly. Bryony uses her disability as a tool for change, showing the world that you don’t need thumbs to cook. The Fingerless K...

I recently was working with someone on his mindset around dating. He was saying how he had difficulty seeing what he had to offer in a relationship, although he would desperately like to have one. He went on to talk about how he doesn’t have a job, how he doesn’t drive, how he hasn’t dated in a long time, and the list went on. When he got done, I asked “How much time do you spend thinking about wh...

Today, I'm interviewing Katherine McLaughlin, CEO and Lead Trainer of Elevatus Training . Katherine is certified as a sexuality educator by AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) and is the Founder of Disability Workshops, now Elevatus Training. She is the author of Sexuality Education for People with Developmental Disabilities Curriculum and also develops...

Success in dating and relationships require support from people outside the relationship. This can be particularly true for people with disabilities. Because, let’s face it, dating in general is hard and dating with a disability can often be much harder, but very possible.  We just need support along the way. Today we’ll discuss how to identify support and effectively use it. Why Having a Sup...

I have such a treat for you today. If you’re listening to this episode close to when this episode is published, Happy Valentine’s Day! I know that Valentine’s Day can be a challenge for some of you who are out there dating so I wanted to offer you some inspiration today in the form of a happy, grounded couple. I’m interviewing Jessica Kramer and Seth Dikeman. Jessica is an Access Specialist at the...

Today we’re talking with Anna Hayek, Instructor and Heart of Operations at Mad Hatter Wellness, which specializes in sexuality and healthy relationship training. We talk about the resources and services Mad Hatter Wellness. Mad Hatter has in person and virtual trainings, as well as online courses. Upcoming Conference Mad Hatter has their annual Heart of Relationships  happening now through Fe...

I once dated a guy who would say things to me like “I wonder how many people see us together and think you’re my client.” Yeah, very uncool. He also said, “My friend told me she thinks it’s so great that I’m dating someone with dating someone with a disability,” in a tone that was very heroic. Even further uncool to say. Needless to say, that relationship gratefully ended. It was a time in my life...

I was originally going to do this podcast on boundaries, but I realized that what may be more helpful is to talk about the importance of saying NO as a way of developing healthy boundaries. We have to learn to say NO to what does not feel good or right. Never be afraid to say “NOOOO” to anyone. Communicate immediately to a person you trust if someone has done anything you’re uncomfortable with. Sa...

A foundation to success in dating and relationships is being safe and feeling empowered in all your interactions. This includes not being taken advantage of physically, emotionally, sexually, or financially. It also includes not being manipulated in any way.  Freedom from abuse doesn’t always happen in dating and relationships. This is the case for people without disabilities and especially t...

Last week we discussed whether or not to use dating sites and apps. We talked about how that’s an individual choice and up to your comfort level. This week we’re talking about safety on dating sites and apps, not to mention, social media in general. Over the years I have heard from many people encountering others asking for money, credit card information, and pressuring to meet before somebody was...

I have to begin with one of the “disadvantages” I have in my work. I’m married, happily married at that. It’s a wonderful facet of my life, but it does give me a distinct drawback when knowing what are the best dating sites and apps out there. And of course, the information about dating sites and apps is always changing. So this is not a podcast about what the best sites and apps are, but rather t...

Many people think of a dating profile as being for potential dates to read and decide if they want to get to know you. While that is true, the dating profile gives you great clarity on your strengths and what you're looking for in dating and relationships. Writing a profile helps you get clear on the strengths and assets you bring to dating and relationships. The Real Purpose of a Dating Profile A...

This week we’re talking about a widely debated topic - when to disclose your disability to a date. Some people suggest waiting a while for people to get to know you. Others, including myself, recommend doing it right away, even in the dating profile. Ultimately, like with anything on this podcast, you need to do you. But for the purpose on today’s chat, we’re going to talk about the pros of disclo...

In my Dating, Relationships, and Disability framework I talk about the Power to Attract, which is when you begin focusing on how you are attractive (in all ways - physically, emotionally, personality, etc) and how your disability adds to who you are, you will draw others to you that will think the same. You are completely in control of this. Why the Power to Attract is so important?  People w...

If you’re listening to this around the time it’s published, it is the holiday season and if you’re single, you may be having a hard time with feeling lonely and longing to be with someone. You are not alone. I recently asked a group of single people with disabilities about their feelings during the holidays. Their responses included wondering why they are still single, missing loved ones, and want...

This week we’re talking about what I think is the most important piece of DRD framework for getting results, Taking Action. Yes, actually taking all that you desire for dating and relationships and doing something, even taking risks and possibly failing at times, but moving forward toward what you want.  This is important for you to hear: I think most people have a hard time initiating dating...

This week I have my first guest on the show, Pam Malin, from Disability Rights Wisconsin. Pam is an Advocacy Specialist and a Project Coordinator and has been working for decades to promote healthy relationships for people with disabilities. We talk about people need to speak up and advocate for their rights for healthy relationships. Pam talks about how her interest in healthy relationships began...

This week we’re discussing the last part of the DRD framework, developing problem strategies for being in relationship. When a relationship happens, it’s not all rainbows and sunshine. The ability to problem solve in dating and relationships is essential.  Sometimes when problems emerge in a relationship, we feel scared and vulnerable. We may feel we’re inadequate or we’re being rejected.&nbs...

Sometimes we can get so focused on the dating side of things, trying to attract someone, and trying to find the right person, we forget about the other 80% of work that comes from dating and relationships. That’s right 80% and that’s just my very rough, unresearched estimation of the amount of energy and skill involved in maintaining a relationship. This week we talk about the third component of t...

This week we’re talking about the second core principle, or table leg, to my DRD framework- dating confidence. I hear frequently, and I felt this way also when I was single,   “I’m pretty confident in general, but when it comes to dating, it’s another story.” Why is it the dating scene feels so much different than other areas of our lives? One word - vulnerability. Dating and relationships ad...

This week I begin to break down the four table legs, so to speak, on the DRD framework - believing in yourself. It’s certainly the hardest part of getting the whole dating and relationship piece to get nailed down. I believe mastering this will attract others to you more than looks, money, or what you’re able to do. Exactly what does it mean to believe in yourself? Sometimes believing in yourself...