Darkseid's Couch

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée kick off Supermanuary with 1963's Superman no. 162! Determined to finally do all that stuff he swore he was gonna do, the Man of Steel splits himself in two, amplifies his brain, and knocks out all of the universe's problems in a few weeks. It's like putting together your science fair project the night before its due, except that Superman improved the...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée throw another copy on Amazing Spider-Man no. 314 onto the yule log! It's a Christmas disaster when Peter Parker and his out-of-his-league wife Mary Jane get evicted from their condo! Well, HER condo, seeing as how Pete refuses to get a job that doesn't involve taking pictures of himself in spandex. Meanwhile, a disgruntled nerd goes all Falling Down on...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée celebrate the crushing march of entropy with 1993's Barbie no. 37! It's Shée's birthday, and it's time to celebrate with international megastar Barbie and her sister Skipper! They're going to have an exotic adventure in Thailand, if only they can shut up the incessant whining of Skipper's low-value tagalong friend Courtney! Is the irresistible, some wo...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée hike Kickers, Inc. no. 2 straight into the dumpster! The NY Smashers football team is back, or at least they would be if they weren't busy solving local petty crimes instead of attending to their NFL careers. After a successful appearance on Johnny Carson, the Kickers get their first case: Figuring out why an old lady's rose garden has been destroyed!...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée sniff the crotch of Batman no. 97! Gotham is going to the dogs when Batman and Robin, two totally sane people without any sort of psychological damage that could lead them to make bizarre decisions, decide the only way to solve crime is to employ a German Shepard wearing a mask! Plus, the Joker makes an appearance, and that's important to note because...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée try to wring some scares out of the Wildstorm Halloween Trilogy of Terror! It's three interlocking stories of macabre ghoulishness featuring three interlocking teams of mediocre foolishness! First the heroes of Team 7 bomb the hell out of a sacred Mexican temple because who's even gonna mind? Some sort of vengeful bat demon who lives there? Please! Wha...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée get gently startled by The Unexpected no. 214! World heavyweight champion Joe Goodwin has a booming career and a hairline that refuses to recede even deep into middle age, so why shouldn't he press his luck by fighting a minotaur in a secret cave full of cultist monsters? Just because it's incredibly stupid and pointless? Well, there wouldn't be much o...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée ask for something spooky and get The Thing no. 7! Because it's finally October and there's nothing scarier than trudging through 30 pages of nonsense in search of a coherent Halloween tale! In the mood to hear about some mobsters who get easily distracted by boats? How about a deal-making devil with a limited bank account? Or maybe a landlord who can c...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James and Shee lovingly threaten to eat each other after reading the Dinosaurs comic book special! As Septembersaurus roars to a close, it's time for another always-excellent comic book based on a tv show. Because the incredible feat of live-action puppeteering that was the hallmark of the Dinosaurs television series is probably better appreciated through cartoon draw...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée meow their way into an inexplicable Septembersaurus with Kona: Monarch of Monster Isle no. 5! It's time again to read all about dinosaurs, or, failing that, giant radioactive kitty cats! Jungle adventurer Kona and his family of psychotic white people hatch a plan to defend their island by slaying the adorable kitten that's doing nothing wrong. Well alr...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée steal some flight rings and enlist with Tales of the Legion of Superheroes no. 7! It's teenage drama, 30th-century style as the Legion deals with the berserk pinball machines that are their hormonal systems! Who's sleeping with who? Who's gonna be an auntie? Will anyone ever touch disgusting dogboy Timberwolf? The answers won't be coming anytime soon,...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée relax comfortably in the treetops while reading Jungle Adventures no. 2! Meet Zangar, the Hollywood movie star who moonlights as a mankini-wearing defender of the jungle! He and his two tiny ocelots ( not a metaphor for testicles) spend the afternoon breaking up a ring of thieves who all share an apartment together because they're not very good at turn...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée start a new life under the sea after reading 1987's Fish Police no. 10! Inspector Gill, an oddly human fish creature, finds himself lost in the desert after one of his wacky investigations goes awry! How can a fish world have a desert? Stop asking questions, nerd, it's not that kind of story. What matters is that Gill is about to learn that the earth i...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée get down and digital one last time with Batman: Digital Justice! In the back half of the story, Cyberhunk Jim Gordon III is bringing both sexy and Batman back! As his war against the Joker program races to its conclusion, the AI spirit of the original Batman returns to lend a hand. Or at least a disembodied skull with dead eyes. If you like watching co...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée take a ride to Futureland on the Progress Express with the first half of Batman: Digital Justice! In this computer-generated adventure, an AI Joker program ruthlessly controls a dreary future Gotham! With the city under the thumb of corruption, the Dark Knight an ancient memory, and CDs still being the dominate media, the citizens of Gotham have quite...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée get palm-struck by 1993's Sachs & Violens no. 1! With the legendary George Perez's passing away, it's a great time to reflect on some of his greatest work, which you can find out about from other, more thoughtful podcasts. Over here on the soiled cushions of the Couch, it's time to take a look at a forgotten passion project about sex in society, co...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée expose THEIR brains to The Savage Dragon no. 34! Chicago's favorite amnesiac police officer crosses paths with demonspawn federal agent Hellboy in a contest to see which can make licking the boot of law enforcement look less cool. It's Christmas morning and Hellboy's investigating a train yard to find out why all sorts of ghouls are hanging out down th...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée believe the unbelievable when they read 1969's Strange Adventures no. 216! The great Neal Adams has passed away, but he's left behind a legacy of anguished facial contortions and stories about oddball supertypes that'll last forever. Case in point, the non-corporeal Deadman, who can jump into people's bodies without permission and make them do any weir...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée spend way too much time trying to pronounce Starriors no. 2! What options do you have when you toy line about a gang of indistinguishable robots with unclear motivations is too dumb and boring to get its own cartoon series? Why not try dumping it into the comic book industry instead and see if maybe those losers will gobble up the slop? Good hustle, bu...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée wring the tears out of their fur after reading What If... no. 9! In a wacky alternate universe where actions have consequences, Professor Xavier manages to get all of the gullible suckers who signed up for his whole "X-Men" scam killed on their very first mission! All except for Beast, who's left his sweet "no-pants-required" gig at the Avengers to pus...

This time on the Couch: Things get weird for Mike, James, and Shée as they read Weird War Tales no. 89! War is hell when a bunch of gorillas subscribe to a particular ideology that savvy podcasters know not to write in their show notes for fear of getting banned! Just look at their armbands, folks. How did the Primate Platoon come to be? Which Steve Bannon speech did they hear that made them becom...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée barge in on the Badger! In issue 13, the lovably unwell superhero feeds a wizard to his pet rats, makes some soup, and does buddy curls with a space ape! Meanwhile, 5th century druid Ham got hisself lost in a bizarre dimension where walking around in public wearing a purple cloak isn't such a big deal! Maybe he'll just stick around here for a bit after...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée pour one out for The Incredible Hulk no. 290! Bruce Banner's got his horrific life under something resembling control, having found a way to maintain his nerd brain while transformed into the Hulk. So now he's got the self-awareness to recognize what a disgusting, green freak he is most of the time! Luckily, sentient soda can M.O.D.O.K. is hanging arou...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée wrap-up Showcase '94's dreamy Joker story! Does it end with the clown prince of crime being bitten by a radioactive society? In another tale, Gunfire unleashes his horrific powers on a gang that's destroying the lab he works in! Well, works/lives in, because times are tough and rent is high. Finally, Blue Beetle bugs out in the dilapidated garbagetown...

This time on a very special Couch: Mike, James, and Shée celebrate 200 episodes! It's a big milestone, and that means it's time to celebrate the Darkseid's Couch way: By confronting childhood trauma! Showcase '94 featured a Joker story so disturbing it managed to terrify a young James in 1994, which is saying a lot, because he was very tough and pretty much never spent his school lunch periods rea...