Darkseid's Couch

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée line their cage with Hawkman no. 7! In the first adventure, the sunlight-powered villain I.Q. is on the loose and only Hawkman and Hawkgirl care enough to try to stop him! Can the Hawks put an end to the man whose whole thing is that he's kinda smart under certain conditions? Let's just say there's a reason he's not a Batman villain. Then, the Hawks tr...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée stuff the ballot box with Your Vote is Vital! It's election day and Uncle Sam is so full of patriotism that he's gonna be hanging out at the polls all day instead of spending time with the loved ones that he definitely has! Come along as he attempts to educate a string of low-information dunces who can't be trusted to dress themselves, much less choose...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée let the jokes write themselves when they read Giant-Size Man-Thing no. 1! He's got a silly name, a sillier nose, and the silliest book title of all, it's Man-Thing! And he's taking on the greatest threat of all: Philosophy students! Then, it's a bevy of batty back-up stories involving ice monsters, invisible men, and insecure alien invaders! Celebrate...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée lay down some papers for Animal Man no. 71! Enraged at the world that done him wrong, the man with the animal powers has decided to get literal with it and transform himself into an horrific chimera creature! But even worse: He's gotten super preachy about his views on the environment! Can Animal Man be reasoned with before he starts trying to sell us...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée spend some time with the member of Batman's rouge's gallery who's spent the least amount of time coming up with his gimmick, Man-Bat! It's the second and final issue of Man-Bat's swingin' 70s solo series, and the scientist-turned-chiropteran (it means 'bat') is going out with a bang! Having moved to Chicago to escape the rampant Batman-related face-pun...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée zip on back to 1941 to check out Zip Comics no. 17! It's eight big, bountiful tales of pugilism and WWII-era patriotism as a load of beefy dudes punch each other out in the name of freedom! But if that's not your bag, don't worry: There's also explorations into circus crime, cow physics, and an incident with a couple of young boys and a very hungry wit...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée swoop down and gracefully land on Darkhawk no. 1! Young Christopher Powell is a typical angsty 90s kid with a couple of dopey brothers and a set of parents who can't seem to figure out how to take an easy bribe. But when his family's overall schmuckiness lands him in a creepy abandoned carnival, he'll discover a mystical lava lamp that gives him the po...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée RIP off the Band-Aid and go HUNTING for something good to say about Rip Hunter... Time Master no. 12! Time-traveler/suburban loungewear model Rip Hunter has been called upon to get rid of a dangerous meteor that's been hanging out at Stonehenge for centuries, becoming an object of worship for the easily-impressed buffoons of the past! Rip will gather t...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée fry their circuits over Magnus, Robot Fighter no. 9! In the year 4001 AD, there are only two things that sci-fi adventurer Magnus hates: Robots, and the idea that any robot has gone unfighted. But when conflict brews between the residents of upscale North Am and the rebellious freewill bots of Synchron, can Magnus prevent an all-out war? Well, that all...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée dig deep into the DC vault with three tales from Showcase '93 no. 6! First, Robin steps out from Batman's shadow to take down a terrifying mob boss using nothing but his wits and a couple of Constitutional violations. Then, the joykilling Blue Devil won't let an innocent demon enjoy his simple meal of every single living creature he can get his claws o...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée put on a fresh pair of JNCOs and check out Knighthawk no. 1! It's the radical '90s, and Neal Adams' latest creation Knighthawk is destined to be the edgiest superbro on the comics rack! Sure, Spawn's cool, but did he ever decimate an orphanage with his cyberclaws just to make a point about equality? Huh, did he? We're seriously asking, we never read th...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée are deemed worthy to lift Journey into Mystery no. 89! Thor, a literal god who controls thunder, must do battle with a crooked businessman who sold poor building materials to the city! Can the thunder god defeat this most wily of villains? Yes. Very, very easily. It honestly wasn't even an adventure worth writing down in the first place. Must've been a...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée are taking it to the streets with Captain America no. 133! Living soda can M.O.D.O.K. is back for revenge on Cap, and this time he's got a new, stupid plan that can't fail! Enter the Bulldozer, who never actually bulldozes anything, but rather sows seeds of dissent among the slums of New York! Luckily, the good Cap is willing to cut short his bro sesh...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée viciously tackle Kickers, Inc. no. 4! Jack "Mr. Magnificent" Magniconte and his team of NFL pros with way too much time on their hands take a break from whatever it is that got them a comic book and actually decide to play some football for once! Unfortunately, their opponents are a pack of spine-snapping maniacs known as the Wreckers! Can Ma...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée meant to text you back, but they got distracted by Batman no. 184! What strange event could possibly cause Batman and Robin to ignore every attempt Gotham City has made to contact them for nearly two weeks straight? It might have something to do with Gotham asking them "What even are we anyway?" the last time they hung out! And then, in a bac...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée get weird with it when they read Weird Tales of the Future no. 2! Do you often lie awake at night, worrying about what the future holds? Well fear no longer, because this glimpse of times to come should put all your concerns to rest! The world of the future will be a utopia: There'll be hunky dudes in crop top jean vests fighting aliens, hunky dudes in...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée fight over the last churro while reading Metamorpho no. 4! When Metamorpho, the fugly superhero who can transmute his body into any element he wishes, has to compete with a chadly billionaire for the affections of his perfect dime of a girlfriend, their competitiveness will lead them into the middle of a Mexican anti-authoritarian rebellion! If Metamor...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée dunk on Godzilla Vs. Barkley! It's the radical 90s, and even the King of the Monsters has hoop dreams! But standing in Godzilla's way is NBA superstar Charles Barkley, and he's brought his massive ego! Who's gonna win that sweet Nike endorsement? Well, it won't be Godzilla. That guy won't even wear clothes.

This time on the Couch: Call your stockbroker, because Mike, James, and Shée are bullish on The Badger issue 37! It used to be the mall was the only place a fella could go to get away from rampaging buffalo attacks. But when the Badger, the superhero with multiple unhinged personalities, brings his bison buddy in for a spa day, can even the well-trained army that is mall security contain the chaos...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée get bit by the love bug after reading the Question no. 26! Schlubby supervillain the Riddler has been released from prison on account of harshing their whole "bad boy" vibe with his endless dorkiness. But when he meets a busted stripper with a thing for receding hairlines, can the Riddler resist her murderous allures and go straight? Only the...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée wish for I Dream of Jeannie no. 1! It's a delightful romp through workplace unprofessionalism and the careless wielding of power when Tony the Astronaut and his infinitely-thirsty genie sabotage rocket launches and set off international incidents without consequence! Eh, who cares about all that; Just keep that belly button covered, you heathens!

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée lace up for Strange Sports Stories no. 5! It's a pair of twisted tales of sports gone awry, and not due to steroids or CTE! First, a hockey player is forced into the game of his life against a demonic goalie! But here's the cruel twist: Even if he wins, he's still in Canada! Then, a sheriff must abandon his skiing plans to catch some space varmints wha...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée swear a loyalty oath to Nexus no. 1! Space vigilante Nexus spends his nights dreaming about atrocities and his days figuring out who he needs to laser-blast in the face to alleviate said dreams! It's a pointless, agonizing existence, but at least he's got perfect obliques and a crew of alien weirdos that worship him and/or those glorious side abs. But...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée spank 2023 out the door with World's Finest no. 201! Superman and Green Lantern are at odds because they have very different ways of dealing with problems: Superman prefers to do things moronically, whereas GL likes to behave like an idiot. When the Guardians of Oa decide they've had enough of this nonsense, they challenge the two heroes (?) to a game...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée deck the halls with Batman no. 27! In this 250th episode spectacular, Batman helps a teenage millionaire discover the joy of the season through child abduction and unrestrained physical violence! Plus, Alfred the butler scoffs at the poors, the Penguin breaks into the literature game, and Robin uses his tiny hands to make an older man's volcano erupt!...