Crunch Wears No Pants

Look guys, it happened. Kyle Theige joins the pod and we put him on the hot seat, previewed Game 2 of the Suns series, and went through the treasure chest of Wolves history during the Wolves Things Draft. You'll be shocked to hear this, but this episode is nuts. 

HELLO! EMERGENCY POD! The Timberwolves won Game 1 vs the Phoenix Suns today in the playoffs! The gentlemen go through the key performers and break down with they succeeded. We also heap praise on Kevin Durant cuz he's dope.

BONUS EPISODE PRESENTED BY LAMB CHOPS! We have two Suns fans in Panty Nation. One of them is on the show today: Auggie 5000! You remember him as the morning show host at Go 95.3, the modern hip hop channel, a radio station so good that the suits had to shut it down because money never bought good taste. Auggie takes us through six things he's identified as Suns weaknesses that the Timberwolves wil...

Today, we discuss how Wolves twitter in in shambles over the Suns match up in the first round. Why do folks choose to be super negative? Feels like a bummer way to cheer for a team. The gentlemen also discuss how KAT's tenure as a Timberwolf lives and dies with this series. We also draft the best moon related things cuz we are an anti-Sun pod for the time being. Also at the end we discuss whether...

It's a lot of Naz Reid talk on this episode. We dive deeper into the "NAZ SHOULD REPLACE KAT" talk taking over the timeline. We also discuss the work of cinematic genius that is Godzilla 2001 as well as if Godzilla is just a raging libertarian. Also, we suggest people who should own the Timberwolves besides Glen Taylor. Smaug from the Hobbit trilogy isn't one of them but does get mentioned. Love y...

AN OWNERSHIP DEBACLE! ANT IS SO GOOD! NAZ AND JADEN AND SLOMO ARE ALIVE! 

guys. remember when we used to release episodes regularly. we're getting back to that, i promise. On this week's episode, we discuss our life post-KAT injury, Ant's continued ascension, Luka Garza (sorry), and Dune. 

We're back with our second consecutive Random Wolf of the Week spotlight on Nikola Pekovic! These totally weren't pre-recorded during the Trail Blazers game on 2/15! Normal episodes begin again next week, but in the meantime enjoy this deep dive into the life, legacy, and lore of Nikola Pekovic.

SPECIAL EPISODE! We love highlighting the Random Wolves of the Week at the end of each episode so we figured we'd do some deeper dives into beloved Wolves throughout history. This week, we discuss the legacy and lore around COOL HAND LUKE RIDNOUR. 

Wolves twitter melted down over former and future guest of the pod Claire de Lune's 1 minute segment discussing the Timberwolves and KAT on another pod so we talked about it cuz we are white knights and simps. After that, we just bantered about how insanely good the Timberwolves are and then we did the fictional player buyout segment, where we add various fictional basketball players to the Wolves...

We did one episode without a guest and we got bored so we invited our pal CHELANGA LANGASON FROM THE CND NBA SHOW to discuss why Kyle Anderson is secretly still good, the trade deadline's impact on the Wolves, potential buyout guys, and why Luigi is a bad person. Also, we snuck in a cats draft in celebration of Karl-Anthony Towns' fourth all star appearance. Some episodes are like this guys, idk w...

WOWOW KAT AND ANT ARE ALL STARS BAYBEEE. The gentlemen react to the news, as well as the current performance of the team. It's also our first episode since Guestuary so it's just us again. We also spend some time fawning over Nickeil Alexander-Walker before pitching trade targets in our Shark Tank Trade Machine segment. Love you so much! Don't drive stupidly in residential areas!

THE FINAL GUEST OF GUESTUARY IS CLAIRE DE LUNE! You've seen Claire on twitter, and perhaps you've heard her music as Tiny Deaths or read her basketball words with the Guardian. Speaking of, she just dropped an article about how the Timberwolves went from league laughing stock to legit championship contender. We discuss the Wolves with Claire, as well as her Lakers fandom*, the D'Angelo Russell exp...

Dane Moore joined Crunch Wears No Pants to talk EVERYTHING. Does he like Hennessey? Who are his ideal trade targets as the deadline approaches (also this, predictably, is when Dane and Brandon go super deep, it was every ball-knowers dream conversation)? How has his podcast evolved over the last couple seasons? How are his vibes towards the team at the moment? What is the best NBA video game of al...

We finally got him. Timberwolves In Arena Host MC Jon B joins the program to discuss the vibes around the team, his in-game fan hype approach, and the things he noticed in the pre-season in Abu Dhabi that let him know that this team was different. We also go over the vibes of this lil rough patch/growing pains thing the Wolves have got going on right now (spoiler: we all still think everything is...

oh BOY. The Timberwolves have hit a rough patch and we're here to talk about it! but here's the thing: we can still believe in a team's future and potential while addressing elephants in the room in terms of perimeter defense, apparent effort, and ball movement. So there's your hoops talk. We also do our first installment of Timberwolves What Ifs: What if Ricky Rubio never tore his ACL, What if St...

After much demand, CWNP perseveres through the post-holiday haze to give Vit Krejci his much deserved ceremonial send off.

hello hotties, in between last night's loss to the Joel Embiid's foul merchanting and tonight's dub over the Los Angeles Lakers, we recorded a podcast. we focus on how great KAT and NAW have been, as well as discuss little things you may not have noticed during this overwhelming avalanche of basketball success. And then, as a show of goodwill and love towards beloved Wolves Community Member Wolves...

guys there's no sugar coating this one: Brandon used his math and stats brained and solved the Ant On/Off Offensive woes and the best part is, the answer lies within the roster. It was a true, deep sports segment. Wowzers. We also discussed whether or not Santa is a human or an elf mid-ad read. For our fun bit, we went back through years of Timberwolves' past and thought about which old wolves rol...

hey hotties - this episode we basically just fawn over how good Rudy Gobert is. We also give an update on Panty Nation Member of the Year Standings, as well as the recent uptick in Communist Wolves memes. We also do another draft lmao we do the "Same First Name as the Starters" Draft, which means we've either ascended or are scraping the bottom of the barrel. We love the Wolves. What a time to be...

What's poppin Panty People. If you're willing and able, please consider donating to Kai's Mom's GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/48c15f9a Kai is a beloved member of Wolves Twitter and is such a ray of sunshine in our digital community. You may have seen him at the CND NBA Show Live Show Extravaganza, and you've def seen his work outside of Parkway Pizza (HOOOONK!). If cash is tight for you, please lift...

Today, a Wolves Twitter and TikTok legend joins the show: WolvesHotBoxScores! Jordan offends him by calling him a duck! And then Jordan kills the vibes with unfounded anxiety around how good the Timberwolves are. The gang also chat with WolvesHotBoxScores about the state of the Timberwolves, KAT's recent successes, and even MORE reasons to believe why the Timberwolves are legit. Oh yeah, we also d...

We recorded this episode in the back of the Top the Tater Van in a parking lot down by the river in Stillwater lmao what in tarnation is goin on. What an experience. On this episode, this gentlemen look back fondly on the Wolves' first seven game win streak in 20 years while also giving their perspectives on the fight, instigated by stupid DRAYMOND! The gentlemen also figure out what we could get...

What's up, hotties. We actually went deep on hoops this episode lol I think it's actually serious hoops talk. Brandon details why he's changed his mind on this year's Timberwolves team and why he thinks there is reason to believe in sustained success. We also revived our ChatGPT script-generating bit "Timbertales", which is what the WGA was fighting against. Also, Jordan makes the case to retire D...

The season has started and we are talkin HOOPS baby, mostly through the Howler. Which, if you didn't know, is the #1 fan giveaway item in Timberwolves history and is available to the first 15k fans to pull up to the 11/8 game vs the Pelicans, which will also be the first Classic Edition game of the year. The fellas talk about the first three games of the season, including * THAT GAME *, as well as...