CORN DOWN Prank Calls

This CORNDOWN starts with people trying to smoke in my glasses. Whuppy brings soup issues into the mix, such as who’s eating it, who’s spilling it, and which employees are making a mess of my glasses with it. Everything gets foggy, soup related and otherwise, and before long we’re talking about early refills, and prescriptions onions. wastedmemory and I get wrapped up in more prescription is...

On this CORNDOWN I keep getting stuck at a Wendy’s with no drive-thru and trying to prove I’m certified for something while also deleting my Facebook over and over because people keep saying they saw someone who looks just like me. Paper becomes an issue as I try to use it as plates, then wastedmemory shows up and we get into receipts and documents to get a sandwich across state lines or avoid a t...

This CORNDOWN starts with me questioning the flavor of a bag while whuppy keeps being normal in every way he can think of. Things get sexual with sour cream on my pants, and slide quickly into soaked chicken, plumbers in the bathroom, and a lot of broken or confused sandwiches trying to figure out what they actually want. There’s a whole back and forth about fries being the same as sandwiches, ext...

This CORNDOWN starts an inch big before sandwich problems that get taped, but user engagement is too low to continue operations. Due to the low engagement I get involved with a new AI image board, while buccshot finds an important screw and I find branded batteries, which is a great way to get a reaction. For clicks and views. Things get extra weird after that. Whuppy has a twenty minute call wher...

This CORNDOWN keeps circling back to keys, losing them, someone else finding them, cops and even dogs getting involved, and wastedmemory chasing them down in his own ways. The magic rabbit stuff runs right alongside it, with them appearing, disappearing, and even coming out of hats thanks to whuppy. We bounce into odd jobs and hotel problems, from sieves and TV people to being forced to apply for...

This CORNDOWN kinda sucks. I start off losing my phone, wallet, keys, and even the car. Shopping carts keep getting tangled, sucking in keys, or smashing into things, with wastedmemory stepping in to make it even worse by trying to disengage buggies and change the batteries before they get sucked into my car. Also I am wearing a wire for reasons I can’t discuss, then the food calls start wit...

This CORNDOWN kicks off with someone messing around across the street while wastedmemory gets caught up in some kind of strange sensation, and before long we’re both tangled in all kinds of burger problems. From long ones to corrupt fry cooks to a full-on burger school interaction. Things shift when I start pushing buttons about thermostats and age limits and when life begins at fast food spots, w...

On this CORNDOWN I get started talking about the hassle of maintaining one’s own hotel rooms and how much money it seems to pull right out of my own pocket, with wastedmemory chiming in about his own mix-ups at a couple of different and/or same places. We drift into some strange normal sounding calls, where I keep getting calls from the nineties and he jumps ahead into Y2K and beyond. A lot...

This one is a slow start with failed boat houseguest problems, there’s talk of medical violence, and appreciation comes across in uncomfortable ways. Eventually we get going when food turns up stuffed in shoes, pockets, even wallets. There’s a slight obsession with stoves and bricks cooking eggs. Then Denny’s gets some classic bribes, we run into fake versions of their food, and wasted gets sick f...

In this episode luggage bags get grabbed, cars seized, hotel rooms snatched up, even food is being treated like it doesn’t belong to you. There are calls about future reservations, with people talking, conversating, chatting and confusing the front desk. Insurance rates get bumped, a smoke alarm goes off, and someone promises me this idea of guaranteed internet fame. Other normal things like cat o...

This episode has food mistakes like fingernails ripped out, hair eaten, roofing nails swallowed, even takeout containers consumed. Broken tools and food that won’t heat or get wet bleed into static bananas and political Tesla disputes. A couple floors get stepped on. Identity theft spreads through hotels and mirrors, while accounts close, tests fail, and glass exits cut things short. Pit Pigs (reg...

This CORNDOWN kicks off with basic skills missing. I can’t read, wasted can’t ride a bike, and it spirals into family silence and awkward callback requests. People lurk by windows, sometimes sipping coffee, sometimes plotting, while magnetic food keeps reappearing. There’s car insurance drama at a Denny’s, elevator bites, and windows breaking in normal revenge circumstances. Dumpster hiding gives...

This one feels like a crime scene slowly unraveling in a Denny’s. It starts with evidence bags piling up, with Fabian schemes in the background, and suspicious amounts of high numbers of teeth-related reports coming in. All I know is, Denny’s is at the heart of it all. Soups and slams getting mixed or unmixed, even zodiac signs somehow coming into play. Police trespass becomes a recurring is...

This set starts with sandwiches getting painted yellow. It moves into conflict inside the CD players, which probably shouldn’t cause that much tension unless the employee is flirting. Then sandwiches take over. There’s a lot of confusion: who’s touching them, whose sandwich it even is, whether they’re being shared, stolen, burned, or just sat on. Fries and soda catch fire t...

This CORNDOWN spins out of control fast, starting with employees being used,possibly emotionally or logistically. That spirals into apple smoking, which feels both literal and like a stand-in for some deeper, metaphorical meaning. But it’s just an apple. There’s tension with police, as usual, something about raspberries being missing, and a whole subplot around someone named Jessica an...

This CORNDOWN follows a steady escalation of penny-based activity. Tossing, spreading, dropping them in lobbies, even turning them into some kind of mortar or protest or something. There’s also a lot of poor employee driving, repeated and increasingly dramatic, including crashes or wild maneuvering. Meanwhile, there’s gum in my son’s fries, sketchy food combos, and someone handin...

A strangely intimate look at breakfast and violence—sometimes at the same time. We start with a couple rounds of Ice Cream b/w Violence, bounce through some hotel knob evaluations and best room competitions, and land in a series of escalating calls for just breakfast that spiral into close-quarters smoking and theoretical violence. Blankets and towels get mixed up with paper-based aggression, and...

This one drifts from smoky basements to crumbling online identities. We kick things off with turkey bacon, home smokers, and a lot of weird cigarette gas complaints—some of which seem to involve store employees just absolutely refusing to acknowledge reality. wastedmemory digs into forgotten MySpace alternatives while snappy bakes insists on the existence of “vanilla mothballs.” We spi...

This episode flies all over the place—literally. It opens with sleep tracking and mileage disputes, then dives into an ongoing saga about birds: healthy ones, loose ones, and whether or not they’re part of some larger plan. I take the lead on the bird logistics, while wastedmemory ends up dealing with weird “Do Not Disturb” violations, and there’s an uncomfortable amount of...

On this one, wuppy fills in for wastedmemory and really leans into some strange hospital logic and bee management techniques. I try to keep things on track with some fast food arguments and a few misunderstandings about who’s dead and what it costs. The whole show kind of spirals around leeches, bacteria, and whether or not it’s ok to be a hospital. ButtEye checks in with some breakroom vibe...

This episode of CORNDOWN has a lot of energy—starting head first and sliding straight into the recurring saga of accidental fatherhood and surprise bathroom births. Wastedmemory helps drive some extremely uncomfortable conversations, especially around sex, smell, and I do some religion accomodations. We argue a lot about whether you’re supposed to load tip up front, and things just kind of unravel...

This one’s got no wastedmemory but a lot of shampoo—like, a suspicious number of cartons—and way too many people hiding in bushes or punching walls for it to be normal. I try to deal with someone in the bushes around the property, repeatedly damaging the room, and a very specific Arby’s situation. ButtEye gets sent straight to jail, snappy bakes gets into werewolves again, and wuppy deals with som...

This episode of CORNDOWN starts with some hotel stress—trying not to get attacked, yelling in the lobby, and a room that apparently needs preheating before use. Wastedmemory handles some strange guest behavior and a little confused rat, and I get into a whole thing about whether or not you can insure a hotel room. There’s a reoccurring towel issue that somehow spreads across multiple hotels,...

This time on CORNDOWN I spend too long trying to sort out why my room key from six weeks ago won’t work, while wastedmemory gets into some turtle talk that might involve a stick. There’s confusion about sisters, someone says the hotel is in my bloodstream, and I try to make sense of whether it was consumed or not. Things get weirdly quiet, then too loud, and we argue about a burger that does...

This CORNDOWN starts out soaked in a hotel rain complaint that keeps circling back no matter what I try—wastedmemory jumps in to help, but it only spirals into confusion and strange accusations. There’s something going on with a number three situation that neither of us can explain, and by the time it hits number four, I’m already regretting bringing it up. A junior rat may or may not be involved....