CORN DOWN Prank Calls

This CORNDOWN spins out of control fast, starting with employees being used,possibly emotionally or logistically. That spirals into apple smoking, which feels both literal and like a stand-in for some deeper, metaphorical meaning. But it’s just an apple. There’s tension with police, as usual, something about raspberries being missing, and a whole subplot around someone named Jessica an...

This CORNDOWN follows a steady escalation of penny-based activity. Tossing, spreading, dropping them in lobbies, even turning them into some kind of mortar or protest or something. There’s also a lot of poor employee driving, repeated and increasingly dramatic, including crashes or wild maneuvering. Meanwhile, there’s gum in my son’s fries, sketchy food combos, and someone handin...

A strangely intimate look at breakfast and violence—sometimes at the same time. We start with a couple rounds of Ice Cream b/w Violence, bounce through some hotel knob evaluations and best room competitions, and land in a series of escalating calls for just breakfast that spiral into close-quarters smoking and theoretical violence. Blankets and towels get mixed up with paper-based aggression, and...

This one drifts from smoky basements to crumbling online identities. We kick things off with turkey bacon, home smokers, and a lot of weird cigarette gas complaints—some of which seem to involve store employees just absolutely refusing to acknowledge reality. wastedmemory digs into forgotten MySpace alternatives while snappy bakes insists on the existence of “vanilla mothballs.” We spi...

This episode flies all over the place—literally. It opens with sleep tracking and mileage disputes, then dives into an ongoing saga about birds: healthy ones, loose ones, and whether or not they’re part of some larger plan. I take the lead on the bird logistics, while wastedmemory ends up dealing with weird “Do Not Disturb” violations, and there’s an uncomfortable amount of...

On this one, wuppy fills in for wastedmemory and really leans into some strange hospital logic and bee management techniques. I try to keep things on track with some fast food arguments and a few misunderstandings about who’s dead and what it costs. The whole show kind of spirals around leeches, bacteria, and whether or not it’s ok to be a hospital. ButtEye checks in with some breakroom vibe...

This episode of CORNDOWN has a lot of energy—starting head first and sliding straight into the recurring saga of accidental fatherhood and surprise bathroom births. Wastedmemory helps drive some extremely uncomfortable conversations, especially around sex, smell, and I do some religion accomodations. We argue a lot about whether you’re supposed to load tip up front, and things just kind of unravel...

This one’s got no wastedmemory but a lot of shampoo—like, a suspicious number of cartons—and way too many people hiding in bushes or punching walls for it to be normal. I try to deal with someone in the bushes around the property, repeatedly damaging the room, and a very specific Arby’s situation. ButtEye gets sent straight to jail, snappy bakes gets into werewolves again, and wuppy deals with som...

This episode of CORNDOWN starts with some hotel stress—trying not to get attacked, yelling in the lobby, and a room that apparently needs preheating before use. Wastedmemory handles some strange guest behavior and a little confused rat, and I get into a whole thing about whether or not you can insure a hotel room. There’s a reoccurring towel issue that somehow spreads across multiple hotels,...

This time on CORNDOWN I spend too long trying to sort out why my room key from six weeks ago won’t work, while wastedmemory gets into some turtle talk that might involve a stick. There’s confusion about sisters, someone says the hotel is in my bloodstream, and I try to make sense of whether it was consumed or not. Things get weirdly quiet, then too loud, and we argue about a burger that does...

This CORNDOWN starts out soaked in a hotel rain complaint that keeps circling back no matter what I try—wastedmemory jumps in to help, but it only spirals into confusion and strange accusations. There’s something going on with a number three situation that neither of us can explain, and by the time it hits number four, I’m already regretting bringing it up. A junior rat may or may not be involved....

On this CORNDOWN, I find myself caught in a cycle of discovering dead batteries. Wastedmemory helps escalate things by throwing in some battery ingestion and a genie lamp incident that doesn’t go well. There’s a lot of goop—chili, burger, and something from a grocery store. Calls drift into weird food behavior at fast food places, including employees eating on the job and bhen’s very n...

This CORNDOWN gets tangled in airport chaos and sticky situations, starting with me trying to explain a phone-based parking plan and somehow ending up in trouble over peanut butter. Wastedmemory jumps in repeatedly to back me up as the peanut butter gets scrutinized by police, government, and eventually even mail handlers. I get accused of solicitation and end up in some kind of peanut-related leg...

This CORNDOWN has me going to the hotel front desk with a new policy about strangulation that no one seems to want to enforce, even after I make a sign. Wastedmemory jumps in a bunch to help with a back-and-forth post it passing system between guests and employees. Bathroom candy happens a couple times, there’s talk of a dislocated room and some scissor lift confusion. Snappy and Hootis get into a...

This batch is wild—gasoline barcodes, employee nipping, and taking entire rooms home. wastedmemory is deep in gasoline-related schemes, while bhenchodester tackles Dr Pepper malfunctions and pasta distribution. There’s also some serious concerns about staff harassment, secret codes, and questionable Uber usage. And of course, we’ve got Chickenmen and whatever “Good Like John” mea...

This one’s got a lot going on—credit card testing, mouth animals, and some serious sandwich violations. wastedmemory is deep in the mix with found credit cards, inside-out sandwiches, and verifying the spiciness of things. Meanwhile, snappy bakes investigates trash sandwiches, and ButtEye gets into fire damage and reagents. There’s also medicine dogs, ingrown toenails, and something big goin...

This one’s got a strong trim theme—hotel trim, missing trim, vertical trim, even a trim train. Then wastedmemory gets deep into burger trims and backwards sandwiches, while incident number sandwiches keep stacking up. There’s some struggle with the cost of paper products (or the lack of them), alcohol odors, and loose mole beeps. Things get crunchy with onions and whole stores, and the...

This CORNDOWN is all over the place—dropped pepperoni, scattered candies, and way too many questions about toilet paper and diarrhea stats. Lobby motion sickness keeps coming up, and we get weird about magnesium. Snappy Bakes brings hotel twerking into the mix, and whuppy has some elevator issues. Meanwhile, there’s some confusion over keys under mats, lifting things, and unexpected furnitur...

This CORNDOWN dives into all kinds of smells—squirrel, roommate, and an alarming amount of sponge-sniffing… and eating. Ted makes an unexpected alive appearance, and wastedmemory gets fixated on the sound of hangnails. Bathroom money is a recurring problem, as is road rage, which somehow turns into a cleaning process. Hootis deals with an apology situation, and ButtEye gets involved with som...

This episode of CORNDOWN gets off to a strong start with some light intimidation before wastedmemory hands out questionable puke-related permissions. There’s an incident with raccoons, some employee sanitation concerns, and a deep dive into the ethics of promoting bad habits at work. A cat-related head injury adds to the chaos, and Hootis tries to navigate some medieval-sounding parking issues. Me...

This episode of CORNDOWN kicks off with some loose parts—literally—before wastedmemory and I try to make sense of questionable food practices, including the unexpected use of glue. There’s a lot of discussion about chicken, from giving it away to keeping track of it in a highly unnecessary log. wastedmemory takes a moment to address the chat, and ButtEye stirs things up with a hidden motorcycle si...

This episode of CORNDOWN starts with a lot of checking in—maybe too much—as wastedmemory and I make sure everyone’s doing alright, whether they like it or not. There’s confusion over who actually owns food once it changes hands, and wastedmemory gets wrapped up in a situation involving an alarming number of managers. I attempt to track customers in increasingly questionable ways, while snappy bake...

This episode of CORNDOWN gets stuck in the elevator—literally and financially—as I try to recover some stuck money while wastedmemory experiments with alternative payment methods. Things take a turn with some Pac-Manning, sketchy manager interactions, and an escalating debate over pay rates. Cookie and brownie smells start raising concerns about hidden agendas, and wastedmemory gets caught up in a...

This episode of CORNDOWN goes deep into questionable hotel amenities and unexpected business strategies. I start off digging into a strange DVD version of a hotel experience, while wastedmemory uncovers some odd differences and a sketchy sale on DVD players. There’s talk of elevator smoke breaks, mysterious second discs, and a secret coffee situation that keeps getting more complicated. Kidnapping...

This episode of CORNDOWN is a mix of strange fixes and unexpected teamwork. I kick things off with some chaos about putting out metaphorical fires and getting into odd matches over coupons and signs. Wastedmemory shares about animals refusing food, teamwork breakdowns in the drive-thru, and has some mechanical quirks that lead to clicks and buzzers. There’s also a arguments over part numbers and a...