CORN DOWN Prank Calls

On this CORNDOWN, I start with ice and lettuce. With wasted’s help we move to cheese problems that keep getting flipped, melted, or turned inside out. That leads into a run where burgers cause real-world damage such as breaking windows, messing up cars, closing bank accounts, and getting people fired. We keep pushing those ideas until they turn into audits, arguments, and mailing food when i...

On this CORNDOWN, I start on the idea of getting food as a gift, with wastedmemory jumping in transfering his customer status. That leads into sneezing from sandwiches, acting like an idiot, and getting hit with food for acting like an idiot. Things drift into late Christmas and replacement Santas as whuppy and wastedmemory both share different versions of what exactly that means. By the end, we&#...

On this CORNDOWN, we start with figuring out what actually makes a gift we like, and naturally get stuck on soap and blankets, with wastedmemory complicating it with directions from Tennessee. That turns into me tring to turn myself in for unclear reasons, losing track of where I am, and wondering if elevator shoes can come off. In the middle, we go through roughhousing, hidden gifts, parking lot...

On this CORNDOWN, I start with worrying my dog is going to choke, starting with a small curly, with wastedmemory piling on and making the situation sticky. That leads into a stretch about sandwiches and how they’re made, tracked, questioned, handed off, and sometimes hollow. All the while wastedmemory keeps raising new issues that don’t seem to help. I deal with a strange website dog that keeps re...

On this CORNDOWN we start with a stretch about flagpoles that spirals into access issues once wastedmemory jumps in. From there we move into phone use, online photos including people, and a long microwave stint that somehow turns into a serious issue with violent foil and pants. Wastedmemory discovers how hard turning fifteen thousand dollars is, and whuppy turns in the whole room. By the end, we&...

On this CORNDOWN, I start with a run of calls where I try to get people to guess my weight, while whuppy jumps in with his own twist on the “same pants” problem that plagues hotels. That pushes me to snap and leads to all kinds of smoking-the-hotel trouble and a short streak of pirate-themed nonsense before we drift into a long stretch about pillows. Taking pillows, pillow punishment,...

On this episode of CORNDOWN, I explore the idea of doing things in threes and spend some time trying to protect products, with whuppy and buccshot adding their own takes. We spend a lot of time estimating and assessing, which very naturally leads into things like potato hands and hotel transcripts. Totally normal, I promise. Towards the end, I do some Beyoncés, Tiff extracts crititical corporate e...

This episode runs on the same kind of chaotic mall-parking-lot energy as the others. There’s a cat hanging around outside, dad’s trying to go viral, and opting to believe bushes may be persons. There are private-investigator vibes, weird mouth problems, floating-in-water food, and a lot of DIYing that feels like someone is making up rules as they go. Teeth keep disappearing, multiplying, or...

On this CORNDOWN we start with arguing about whether we need emergency blankets or if regular ones work. I try to shave a few seconds off before we get weird with first aid kits, and whuppy gets in trouble for taking too long. A raccoon in a bag shows up, things get spooky and creepy, and I keep getting messed with on the phone even though I’m dry heaving. I aso get police statements for no...

On this CORNDOWN I run into disabled cars over and over, each one worse than the last, while whuppy tries to impose speed limits and ends up talking about Halloween bones. The whole thing drifts into being treated like vampires, spiders, goblins, etc. before we get stuck counting really high room numbers. Somewhere in there, arms get broken and my finger got ripped off at the drive-thru. wastedmem...

This CORNDOWN starts with me trying to report some accomplices to unwilling management, and whuppy uncovers a brown leather jacket man incident. Next I take a data dump or two and things get weird fast with loose files, Walmart bags, and papers being served back and forth like it’s a courtroom. There’s far too much milk, and far too few crackheads, with buccshot puffing away in the 420 zone while...

This CORNDOWN starts with people trying to smoke in my glasses. Whuppy brings soup issues into the mix, such as who’s eating it, who’s spilling it, and which employees are making a mess of my glasses with it. Everything gets foggy, soup related and otherwise, and before long we’re talking about early refills, and prescriptions onions. wastedmemory and I get wrapped up in more prescription is...

On this CORNDOWN I keep getting stuck at a Wendy’s with no drive-thru and trying to prove I’m certified for something while also deleting my Facebook over and over because people keep saying they saw someone who looks just like me. Paper becomes an issue as I try to use it as plates, then wastedmemory shows up and we get into receipts and documents to get a sandwich across state lines or avoid a t...

This CORNDOWN starts with me questioning the flavor of a bag while whuppy keeps being normal in every way he can think of. Things get sexual with sour cream on my pants, and slide quickly into soaked chicken, plumbers in the bathroom, and a lot of broken or confused sandwiches trying to figure out what they actually want. There’s a whole back and forth about fries being the same as sandwiches, ext...

This CORNDOWN starts an inch big before sandwich problems that get taped, but user engagement is too low to continue operations. Due to the low engagement I get involved with a new AI image board, while buccshot finds an important screw and I find branded batteries, which is a great way to get a reaction. For clicks and views. Things get extra weird after that. Whuppy has a twenty minute call wher...

This CORNDOWN keeps circling back to keys, losing them, someone else finding them, cops and even dogs getting involved, and wastedmemory chasing them down in his own ways. The magic rabbit stuff runs right alongside it, with them appearing, disappearing, and even coming out of hats thanks to whuppy. We bounce into odd jobs and hotel problems, from sieves and TV people to being forced to apply for...

This CORNDOWN kinda sucks. I start off losing my phone, wallet, keys, and even the car. Shopping carts keep getting tangled, sucking in keys, or smashing into things, with wastedmemory stepping in to make it even worse by trying to disengage buggies and change the batteries before they get sucked into my car. Also I am wearing a wire for reasons I can’t discuss, then the food calls start wit...

This CORNDOWN kicks off with someone messing around across the street while wastedmemory gets caught up in some kind of strange sensation, and before long we’re both tangled in all kinds of burger problems. From long ones to corrupt fry cooks to a full-on burger school interaction. Things shift when I start pushing buttons about thermostats and age limits and when life begins at fast food spots, w...

On this CORNDOWN I get started talking about the hassle of maintaining one’s own hotel rooms and how much money it seems to pull right out of my own pocket, with wastedmemory chiming in about his own mix-ups at a couple of different and/or same places. We drift into some strange normal sounding calls, where I keep getting calls from the nineties and he jumps ahead into Y2K and beyond. A lot...

This one is a slow start with failed boat houseguest problems, there’s talk of medical violence, and appreciation comes across in uncomfortable ways. Eventually we get going when food turns up stuffed in shoes, pockets, even wallets. There’s a slight obsession with stoves and bricks cooking eggs. Then Denny’s gets some classic bribes, we run into fake versions of their food, and wasted gets sick f...

In this episode luggage bags get grabbed, cars seized, hotel rooms snatched up, even food is being treated like it doesn’t belong to you. There are calls about future reservations, with people talking, conversating, chatting and confusing the front desk. Insurance rates get bumped, a smoke alarm goes off, and someone promises me this idea of guaranteed internet fame. Other normal things like cat o...

This episode has food mistakes like fingernails ripped out, hair eaten, roofing nails swallowed, even takeout containers consumed. Broken tools and food that won’t heat or get wet bleed into static bananas and political Tesla disputes. A couple floors get stepped on. Identity theft spreads through hotels and mirrors, while accounts close, tests fail, and glass exits cut things short. Pit Pigs (reg...

This CORNDOWN kicks off with basic skills missing. I can’t read, wasted can’t ride a bike, and it spirals into family silence and awkward callback requests. People lurk by windows, sometimes sipping coffee, sometimes plotting, while magnetic food keeps reappearing. There’s car insurance drama at a Denny’s, elevator bites, and windows breaking in normal revenge circumstances. Dumpster hiding gives...

This one feels like a crime scene slowly unraveling in a Denny’s. It starts with evidence bags piling up, with Fabian schemes in the background, and suspicious amounts of high numbers of teeth-related reports coming in. All I know is, Denny’s is at the heart of it all. Soups and slams getting mixed or unmixed, even zodiac signs somehow coming into play. Police trespass becomes a recurring is...

This set starts with sandwiches getting painted yellow. It moves into conflict inside the CD players, which probably shouldn’t cause that much tension unless the employee is flirting. Then sandwiches take over. There’s a lot of confusion: who’s touching them, whose sandwich it even is, whether they’re being shared, stolen, burned, or just sat on. Fries and soda catch fire t...