CORN DOWN Prank Calls

39 calls. Accidental hotel stay. Have you been working here a long time? Hiding spots. A college goof burglary. The type of extension cord you use to beat an outside dog to power my mouse killing machine. Switch my opossum for a raccoon. Raccoon for an opossum. The twizzlers that don’t leave a mark. The secrets of the pumps. Super Mario warp whistle help. Job trial run. Complaints from 3 yea...

Oops. I didn’t listen to this before posting, again. But it’s because I had the day off work. So I ended up walking my dog long before I processed this audio, and I usually listen back to it while walking my dog. I think it was raining or some shit last week. Sorry. 33ish calls. 20 min call with wasted getting drive thru instructions. Good shit.

Listen. I’ve been doing pretty good at listening to the majority of the show right before I post it, and putting up at least a rough idea of what the calls contain. I am not going to lie to you. I didn’t do it this week.  I’m sorry. All 36 calls are here and ready to go, I just didn’t listen to them. There’s probably some stupid hold music or something I didn’t...

Lots of calls this week. 45? Relapse incidences information. Feeling nervous. Accidentally buying drugs. Depression food. How does the drive thru work? Lots of going through cars in the parking lot, going through guests rooms, finding concerning stuff. Telling my mom on me. Calling all guests. A little 3 person confusion. Drunk baby. Sneaking alcohol. Hiding places. Hit by a car. Hospital bills. L...

Whats in these calls? I’m glad you asked. Enraged rodents with a device b/w Which way is east . Trimmings and clippings of the bushes and grass. Dog cremations. Reporting people for hotel food. Dog sitting in the hotel room. Getting a form signed. Dog won’t eat lettuce. Finding drugs in luggage you stole. Tricky drive thru. Lettuce expert. Possibly more. I don’t know.

The calls this week? Well it starts with technical difficulties which leads to breaking the 4th wall. Stuff for couples. Permission to take clippings. A room to fire people, business. check engine lights. Cricket hunting. Sweepings. AND MORE OH WOW.

Whats in these calls? Permission for hanging out. More introducing Doug. Managers blessing to date. The employees faces, what do they look like? My brother teased my dog. Various bathroom creams. AND MORE. Amazing. Enjoy it. Whats not in these calls? wastedmemory. He had to work.

Interactive tours. Pictures with Jeff. Bad attitudes. Romantically involved employees and issues with HR policy. Introducing Doug. Punch a employees. Beating your kids. Killing an animal for food. AND MORE. WOW. WHAT A GREAT VALUE.

What was in this show? Well, maybe I’m the guy who’s been pissing in the trash can. Is it OK for the uber eats driver to spend the night in my hotel room? My son cut off part of his finger, please find it and throw it out. All these, and more. It was pretty good show.

I’m not going to lie to you and say that I remember what any of these calls are about. So…

Hey I almost remember some of this one. Calls about my feces being stolen, calls about borrowing shovels and burying secrets, and classic calling for the phone number. Plus a ton of stuff I dont remember.

sorry im late with this one. blame wastedmemory for coming to visit and bringing toxic waste. he prevented me from posting this earlier.

Wow I actually listened to this before posting! I can actually tell you what the calls are about! Are you ready? It’s like 90% about kissing. Mostly Trader Joe’s kissing policy. Some hotel parking lot kissing, bathroom kisses, kissing witness, cousin kisses.  I also had some issues with my genitals tearing the toilet paper. Checking on pregnancy times, and some general hotel tricks. Oh...

Damn. All I remember is that the first half of the show was more fun than the second half. It doesn’t mean it’s better, but maybe? So, if you stop half way through, I won’t be mad. But only because I have no way of knowing. I’m not OK with it. I’d be pissed if I found out.

Thank you to the new supporters. I don’t have very much memory of this show. Was this the one with WINDOWS UP? I hope so. Because that was funny. ZIP file attached below contains the calls as individual MP3s. Collect them all!

I dont really have much to say about this show but that I fucked up like 5 times when running my CLOUD BASED AI MACHINE LEARNING audacity macro (its mostly just a butt load of compression) to edit it, and had to start over almost every time. It was kinda annoying. I hope the show is good.

The only thing I remember for sure about this show is I ate an entire dozen eggs all at once. I hope some of the other calls were fun too. Oh, I tossed my wallet on a few roofs, by accident, and that was fun too. I’m sorry for the light audio clipping at some points, I think I know where it came from and it shouldn’t be happening again. Anyway — Enjoy.

Another week, ANOTHER new install of windows. This time on to a brand new SSD (THANKS wastedmemory!!!). So hopefully from pt 56 onward, you won’t hear any of the audio chirping and skipping and cutting out any more towards the end of the show. Fingers crossed, because if it wasn’t a HD read/write issue, I’mma have to replace the whole damn computer, rather than playing with more...

Oh look. I uploaded this one the day after the show. You know what that means??? It means calls about parking by employees cars. Asking where to put my weed pipe when I go in the store. Complaining that my change is a small amount. Finding a hotel room not used for sex. Taking empty bags in the bathroom, and taking my clothes off for a poop. Maybe even more stupid stuff than that. Just listen to f...

Ugh. Apparently Im back in the habit of being an entire week late uploading shows to patreon. Oh well. Maybe I’ll upload tonights show right away, so I’ll be able to put some comments about the contents of the show here, in the body of the post, rather than just rambling. Yeah, that’d be cool. Dont you think?

There’s a bug in my hotel room; Who can I speak to about this?? Thats basically all I remember from this show. Lots of calls about bugs in hotel rooms. Not that I’m complaining. A june bug in your hotel room is way cool. There was probably other good stuff too. Let me know. And thank you to all the new supporters, I love you.

woop woop. uploaded finally. how does a push-button-lamp work? And before you come up here to explain it to me, could you stop out at my car and grab my cigarettes? Thanks I love you.

Affirm your truths! The sky is blue. The sky is blue. The sky is blue. The sky is blue. The sky is blue. Now that you know you can trust me — This was an alright show. I approve of it. But only half-assed-ly; Not because I don’t fully approve of it… Just because I’m lazy.

Here’s just the calls from last night, but not the splink/toxic-waste portion, and only calls that originated from my dialer machine. For the rest, you’ll have to wait for SPLink/wastedmemory to post them. I’M THE FRONT DESK MOTHER FUCKER.

Here’s the christmas show! Grab a cool glass of Christmas/Hanukah Milk and enjoy. But don’t enjoy it RIGHT NOW. Because I edited and posted this during the SPlink/Toxic Waste/wastedmemory/dragonmere NEW YEARS 8 HR SUPER 7pm-3am ET TALKING TIMES right now at http://mixlr.com/wastedmemory are you here?