Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships

What happens when a betrayed partner is told that their trauma is detrimental to an addict’s recovery? In this discussion, we unpack why this perspective is outdated, harmful, and rooted in misunderstanding. We explore the difference between sobriety and true recovery, how shame resiliency plays a role, and why betrayal trauma responses are valid—not intentional attempts to sabotage healing. Recov...

In this episode, Tabitha Westbrook talks and sexual abuse within the church, childhood and with being married to a sex addict. She weaves neuroscience, embodiment, and story into her work with survivors of betrayal trauma and sexual harm. Tabitha shares why understanding your nervous system, connecting with your body, and reclaiming your voice are essential steps in the healing journey. This episo...

How do you begin healing from trauma especially when self-hatred feels like second nature? In this honest and hopeful episode, Dan Drake, Tim Stein, Jeannie Vattoune and guest Tabitha Westbrook speak directly to survivors at the beginning of their healing journey. They explore what it means to show kindness to yourself, how deeply harmful theology can distort your self-worth, and how to take small...

How do you start a conversation about sex and trauma in the church—one that feels safe, honest, and healing?   In this powerful episode, therapist and author Tabitha Westbrook shares the surprising origin of her new book on sexuality and healing for survivors of trauma. What started as a single teaching session at a retreat turned into a book that gives language to the experiences many survivors n...

How has purity culture in evangelical Christianity shaped views on lust, sex addiction, and shame and what needs to change? In this powerful conversation with Tabitha Westbrook we unpack how distorted teachings about lust and responsibility create division between men and women in the church. They discuss the deep harm these messages cause, the rising incidence of addictive behaviors, and the urge...

We will be exploring the language around binge/purge cycles, acting in versus acting out, and the idea of switching addictions or the “whack-a-mole” effect. The discussion digs into the difference between sobriety and recovery, why consistency matters, and what partners can look for when trying to determine if change is genuine. Have a question you’d like featured in a future mailbag episode? Send...

They haven’t acted out in a while but is it recovery… or just the purge phase? In this episode, Dan Drake Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein take on a powerful listener's question about the binge-purge subtype of sex addiction. When someone stops their acting out behavior for long stretches of time, it can look like sobriety but is it actually recovery, or just a temporary pause in the addiction cycle?...

How can you tell if someone is truly in recovery or just white-knuckling their way through another cycle of sex addiction? In this deep and practical conversation, Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein explore the difference between sobriety and true recovery. Sobriety is what someone doesn't do. Recovery is what they do. And that distinction makes all the difference. Using analogies like beach...

How do you measure trust after betrayal and how much is enough to stay? In this honest and practical conversation, Dan Drake, Tim Stein and Jeanne Vattuone explore the “continuum of trust” and how partners can assess where they are and what they need after betrayal trauma. They break down how both the partner and the addict play a role in rebuilding what’s been lost. This episode is packed with cl...

What really happens the moment after betrayal shatters your world? In this powerful episode, Rebecca Crews reflects on what life looks like 15 years after D‑Day, the moment everything she thought she knew came crashing down. She shares how her intuition refused to be silenced, the sleepless night that led to truth, and how it felt to have her entire reality suddenly split in two. This is a raw and...

What happens when your gut screams at you that something is seriously wrong and you're finally brave enough to listen? In this gripping episode, Rebecca Crews shares the night everything unraveled. It was February 10, 2010, what they now call D‑Day. Her husband, Terry Crews, was on set across the country. One unanswered call turned into a sickening gut feeling, and by morning, a marriage-shatterin...

What happens when the person you love most becomes a stranger and then dares to change? In this powerful and emotionally raw episode, Rebecca Crews reflects on the unraveling and rebuilding of their decades-long marriage to Terry. She shares the moment she began to believe change was possible not because of words, but because of action: Terry stepping into rehab, risking his image, and choosing vu...

What does it take to stay married and truly connected for over three decades after betrayal? In this heartfelt conversation, Rebecca Crews opens up about their 36-year marriage, her grandfather’s influence, and the deep gratitude she feels for the journey they’ve walked with sex addiction. The discussion touches on the rollercoaster of trust, the all-or-nothing mindset often present in betrayal tr...

In this episode, Allan Katz shares the inspiration behind his powerful workbook, Navigating the Phases of Sex Addiction Recovery. This isn’t just a guide to staying sober it’s a deep dive into what comes next: finding meaning, living with integrity, and rediscovering purpose. Designed for those who’ve already begun their sobriety journey, Allan’s book introduces his VIP model Values, Integrity, Pu...

Kim Litton with raw honesty, she opens up about her journey from addiction and trauma to freedom and recovery, offering a powerful message: hope is real, and healing is possible. Kim speaks about the myths and misconceptions around female sex and love addiction, the impact of childhood wounds, and how the desire to be seen and valued shaped her early relationships. This isn’t just a story of recov...

Adam Nisenson speaks about the overlooked emotional journey of men navigating betrayal trauma. He introduces the 7 stages of what he calls masculine betrayal trauma, a healing framework that includes taboo topics like ego wounds, self-worth, suppressed anger, competitiveness, and intrusive thoughts. Adam shares how men often internalize pain, avoid vulnerability, and struggle with the concept of s...

Dr. Ken Adams, renowned clinician, author, and expert in the field of sex addiction treatment—joins Wendy Conquest and Jeanne Vattuone live from the IITAP Symposium to discuss his groundbreaking new book Light in the Dark co-authored with Dr. Mary Meyer and Culle Vande Garde, this book is the first of its kind to give voice to the lived experiences of adult children of sex addicts. Ken opens up ab...

Dr. Ken Adams never set out to become an author but sometimes, the story finds you before you know how to tell it. In this moving and honest conversation, Ken recounts the origin of his newest book Light in the Dark, a long-awaited exploration into the lives of adult children of sex addicts. Speaking with Jeanne Vattunne and Wendy Conquest live at the IITAP Symposium, Dr. Adams shares how his prof...

Dr. Ken Adams joins hosts Wendy Conquest and Jeanne Vattuone to explore a topic rarely spoken about: the invisible burden carried by children who grow up in homes shadowed by sexual secrets and betrayal. Drawing from decades of clinical experience, Ken sheds light on how children absorb the confusion, shame, and broken trust that ripple through families affected by sex addiction. This conversation...

What happens when a man is sexually betrayed and no one talks about it? In this powerful episode, Adam Nisenson joins Dan Drake and Tim Stein live at the ITAP Symposium to break the silence around male partner betrayal trauma. Adam shares his personal story of discovering his wife’s affair over a decade ago, and how that painful experience led him to write A Man’s Guide to Partner Betrayal, the fi...

Healing from sex addiction and betrayal isn’t a solo journey—especially for men. In this insightful conversation, the struggle many men face with opening up, often stuck in the “ego trap” of having to fix everything alone, is explored. The truth? Recovery requires connection, empathy, and tools—and it often starts when one man breaks the silence, encouraging others to do the same. Discover why a b...

“I was told once that women cheat to leave and men cheat to stay.” But is that really the whole story? In this candid discussion with therapist Adam Nisenson, we explore the deeper realities behind why people cheat and challenge common stereotypes. Drawing from years of experience working with both men and women, Adam uncovers how infidelity often reflects complex emotional struggles rather than s...

Join therapist and author Kim Litton as they courageously share their personal story of recovery from sex, love, and substance addiction in their memoir I Do It For Her. In this heartfelt conversation recorded at the ITAP Symposium, Kim opens up about the intense shame, struggles, and pain they faced—and how they found hope, healing, and freedom through recovery. Whether on your own healing journe...

In this intimate conversation, Kim Litton opens up about the deeply personal story behind their memoir, I Do It For Her: A Memoir of Recovery and Redemption from Sex, Love, and Substances. With over 21 years in recovery, Kim reflects on the hidden struggles she faced—not only with drugs and alcohol but also with sex and love addiction, which went unrecognized for years. They share how early sobrie...

Welcome to a conversation with Allan Katz, author of Navigating the Phases of Sex Addiction Recovery. In this interview recorded live at the ITAP Symposium, Allan shares their unique journey from a marketing consultant to a certified sex addiction therapist, diving deep into what true recovery really means. This video explores how sobriety is just the beginning — the real work is adding meaningful...