Coffee with CAPS

What does it really mean to “settle” in a relationship — and is that actually a bad thing? In this episode, Sam and Aaron take on a word most people instinctively resist and use it to explore a bigger tension: choosing someone versus always wondering if there’s someone better out there. They unpack how that mindset can quietly erode even healthy relationships, especially when you’re stuck comparin...

What actually makes a relationship toxic — and how can you tell the difference between normal conflict and something more harmful? In this episode, Sam and Aaron explore the patterns that define toxic relationships, including cycles of dishonesty, disrespect, and dismissiveness. They also examine why these dynamics can feel familiar and why they are often difficult to leave. They talk about common...

Sam and Aaron take a step back from all the usual relationship advice to talk about something a lot of students quietly wrestle with — loneliness. Not just being alone, but that deeper feeling of not being known or understood, even when you’re surrounded by people. They get into why a relationship (especially a romantic one) isn’t a guaranteed fix, how social media can make things worse without us...

How does your past shape the way you show up in relationships today? Sam and Aaron take an honest look at how experiences of trauma — both big and small — can quietly influence your trust, communication, and even the kinds of people you’re drawn to. They unpack the impact of neglect, family conflict, and unmet emotional needs, exploring what it looks like to recognize your patterns, challenge them...

This episode takes an honest look at hookup culture — what it is, why it’s so appealing in college, and why it often leaves people feeling worse instead of better. Sam and Aaron unpack the tension between what culture normalizes and what we’re actually wired for, touching on the emotional, mental, and spiritual impact that casual sexual encounters can have. They don’t just critique it from a dista...

What does Michael Jordan have to do with mental health? In this 50th episode of Coffee with CAPS , Sam and Aaron sit down with Liberty University President Dr. Dondi Costin to explore that question — along with a few others that hit close to home for college students today. They talk about why this generation feels uniquely “anxious” and how social media has reshaped the way we think, compare, and...

Thinking about doing long distance in college? In this episode, Sam and Aaron talk about the reality of long-distance relationships for college students. Why do so many couples try to make it work after going to different schools — and why do some relationships actually grow stronger while others fall apart? Drawing on research and counseling experience, they unpack the common challenges of distan...

Ever feel like there’s a countdown on your relationship once senior year hits? In this episode, Sam and Aaron talk honestly about the whole “ring by spring” culture — where it comes from, why it feels so intense, and how it can quietly shape your decisions. They get into the pressure from family and friends, the temptation to rush something just to not be alone, and the fear that graduation means...

How do you forgive yourself? And why is it sometimes harder to accept God’s forgiveness than to believe it’s true for everyone else? In this follow-up conversation, Sam and Dr. Jichan Kim dig into the difference between self-compassion and self-forgiveness, and why many Christians quietly struggle with shame long after they’ve repented. They talk about guilt that leads to growth versus guilt that...

Can you forgive someone who hurt you — and does that mean you have to stay? In this episode of Coffee with CAPS , Sam and Dr. Jichan Kim unpack what forgiveness really is (and what it isn’t) in college relationships. They talk about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, how to know if someone is truly changing, and why forgiveness is more about shaping your own heart than excusing...

Dating on campus can start to feel like a battle instead of a connection. In this episode of Coffee with CAPS , Sam reflects on why men and women often approach dating with suspicion, how social media fuels that divide, and where expectations quietly become unrealistic. The conversation explores what healthy standards actually look like, how to talk about values without turning dating into a check...

Ever wonder if you’re setting “too many” boundaries — or not enough? Sam and Aaron are joined by CAPS counselor Emily Elrod to unpack what healthy boundaries really look like in dating and relationships. They talk about values, communication, compromise, and how to handle moments when things don’t go as planned. Emily also shares insight on relationship pressure, emotional awareness, and why under...

Sam and Aaron kick off Season 4 by talking about what it’s really like to come back to campus for the spring semester. From normal back-to-school anxiety and shifting friendships to breakups, boundaries, and finding your people again, they unpack why transitions are hard and how to handle them with a little more grace. The conversation also touches on faith, anxiety, and what it looks like to trus...

In this episode, Sam and Aaron sit down to talk about something a lot of students run into around Thanksgiving and Christmas break: meeting your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s family for the first time. They unpack what actually helps when you’re walking into someone else’s traditions, expectations, and family dynamics — how to make a good impression without being fake, what to talk about (and what m...

In this follow-up chat with Trish McCoy Kessler from Empower Counseling, Sam and Aaron dig into how social media shapes the way we see our bodies — and each other. From “fitspo” influencers and #WhatIEatInADay videos to filtered “real me” selfies, the conversation gets honest about what’s healthy, what’s not, and how comparison creeps in without us noticing. They also touch on cultural takes on bo...

Sam and Aaron sit down with Trish McCoy Kessler, founder of Empower Counseling, to talk about how body image can shape confidence, dating, and the way we see ourselves in relationships. From social media pressures to how early messages about our bodies stick with us, they unpack what “normal” really means (spoiler: there isn’t one). Trish shares real insights from her counseling work, what healing...

In this follow-up episode, Sam and Aaron sit back down with counselor Dustin Beaty to talk through the other side of sexual addiction — what it’s like for the betrayed partner. They unpack the mess of emotions that come with betrayal: shame, confusion, and the deep question of “what now?” Dustin shares honest insights on what healing can look like, why it’s not your job to “fix” someone else, and...

In this episode, Sam and Aaron sit down with fellow counselor Dustin Beaty to have an honest, compassionate conversation about sexual addiction — specifically from the perspective of the addict. They unpack what addiction really is, why shame keeps people stuck, and how openness and support can break the cycle. Dustin shares insights from his work with college students and couples, talking about w...

Sam and Aaron pick up where they left off, diving into the last of the “Four Horsemen” that can wreck relationships — contempt. They talk about how it shows up, why it’s so toxic, and what to do when small annoyances start turning into resentment. From learning to cool down when emotions spike to figuring out what real validation sounds like, the conversation offers an honest look at emotional awa...

Conflict happens — even in the closest relationships. In this episode, Sam and Aaron dive into why fights happen, how to handle them without blowing up, and how those awkward conversations can actually bring you closer. They break down common pitfalls — criticism, defensiveness, the silent treatment — and show how even small “ruptures” can lead to trust and growth. Whether you’re dating, living wi...

Why do we chase love — or run from it — the way we do? In this episode, Sam and Aaron unpack how our attachment styles shape relationships, from anxious and avoidant dynamics to what a “secure base” really means. They dive into why certain pairings are so common and how those patterns often play out in real life. You’ll hear tips on spotting unhelpful cycles, ways to grow toward security, and how...

What if who you are — your personality, passions, and even the random twists in your story — isn’t an accident? In this episode, Sam and Aaron wrap up the series with counselor Brittany Sawrey-Coulson to talk about purpose, identity, and why it’s okay not to have life figured out yet. Brittany shares her own unexpected career turns and how tough seasons can actually point us toward who we’re meant...

Ever feel like the voice in your head is constantly whispering, “you’re not enough”? In this episode, Sam and Aaron sit down again with counselor Brittany Sawrey-Coulson to talk about how shame creeps into our lives — shaping how we see ourselves, our relationships, and even our faith — and how it can quietly keep us stuck. They unpack the difference between guilt (which can push us toward growth)...

College can feel like one long test of whether your faith is really yours — or just something you inherited. In this episode, Sam and Aaron sit down with guest counselor Brittany Sawrey-Coulson to talk about what it means to stop striving and start trusting God. They wrestle with questions like: Does God actually like me? What happens when life doesn’t turn out the way I prayed it would? And why t...

Ever catch yourself spiraling with “what ifs” in a relationship? In this episode, Sam and Aaron sit down with counselor Stephen Ciucci to talk about what happens when normal worries tip over into obsessive thinking — sometimes even into something called “relationship OCD.” They dig into how overthinking can steal the joy out of dating, what it’s like both for the person experiencing it and their p...