Close the Door: Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We debate the flavor profile of shrimp and persimmon soup, but that’s really the least of GRRM’s problematic choices in this chapter. George loves a secret identity, and luckily beards make you unrecognizable—they won’t make fandom love you, though. Dany might be overpowered, but we do wish she had a home.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 442

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sansan shippers beware as we close out Sansa’s Battle of the Blackwater chapters with the phantom kiss encounter. We’d like to remind everyone that she’s twelve years old. Renly is popular, but Santa’s popular too. Sadly, Dontos is the only one Sansa can celebrate with.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 441

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Tyrion a better fighter than he gives himself credit for? Is Blackwater a Hieronymous Bosch painting come to life or are those antler men falling from the sky? Was Joanna Lannister a Tiger Mom or a gentle lamb? Also, Comma's not our real mom! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XIV. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here -...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. As the battle rages around them, Cersei is your close-talking drunk aunt. If your drunk aunt was also a sociopath. Sansa is just trying to make it through the night and we temporarily forget that Ilyn Payne can't talk. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 439

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. As the Battle of the Blackwater rages, we learn that Joffrey is many things, but at least he recycles. The Hound breaks, Tyrion rises to the occasion, and we don't mean to brag, but we have the best listeners. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XIII. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 438

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If only Davos had the confidence of a mediocre white man. If you like long lists of ship names, this chapter is for you. It's also for you if you like incredibly detailed battle scenes, war crimes, and the Hound kicking ass. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Davos III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 437

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is it a sword or an 80s hair band? Joffrey shows the typical Lannister taste and restraint, while Sansa has grown beyond her family and into quite an empathic, clever, and wonderful girl. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 436

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Theon plummets through many more levels of delusion proving that there is no bottom. Join us as we scream, "Theon, what the hell are you doing?" at his every decision. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Theon V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 435

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. This is how rumors get started! Cat, Brienne, and Jaime come together in the Riverrun dungeon, but was Brienne plugging her ears the whole time? Cat continues her aesthetic appreciation of the Kingslayer, and after months of self-reflection, Jaime comes to the conclusion that he's basically pretty awesome. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VII...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. While revenge is a dish best served cold, Cersei serves her threats with a side of greens. We realize that Jaime is the Michael Bluth of Westeros, and that if you want to find your inner Tywin, you can't go halfway. Also, was GRRM missing the "G" (for genetics) volume of the grocery store encyclopedias? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XII. Or...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Qhorin, however it’s pronounced, and his rangers are what the Night’s Watch is meant to be. The panel is divided on the desirability of being a warg, but loving Dalbridge. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 432

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Why is SanSan a thing? Cersei is the oversharing coworker who wants to tell you all her pregnancy horror stories when you’re pregnant with your first kid. George once again displays his ignorance of female biology.  A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 431

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon and Ygritte meet cute. Ygritte tells a story full of foreshadowing and those snobby Tullys can keep their dinner invitations to themselves! But the Martells? Call us! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 430

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Theon is trying his best, but he's no match for Osha and Meera. Luwin is having the time of his life and Little Walder is more than a little racist. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Theon IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 429

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion prepares King's Landing for the coming battle...by holding office hours. Jacelyn Bywater continues to tell it like it is. Hallyne is super pumped about productivity increases in wildfire production, and Tyrion won't hear what Shae is trying to tell him. Also - we would all be terrible maids. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Ty...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If the Undying are just going to eat Dany, why bother with all of the visions and prophecies? Not that we don't appreciate all of the fodder for speculation. Also worthy of appreciation? Drogon, who is basically a really, really good dog. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Daenerys IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 427

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The bear, and a slew of Northerners, arrive in Harrenhal. Jaqen fulfills his final duty and Roose doesn't know how to talk to children. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya IX. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 426

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Theon is such a dick. The Walders are kind of delightful. Osha is no kneeler. And don't you Ironborn dare lay a finger on our sweet Hodor! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 425

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat is every older sibling ever, but she's still not getting the victories she wants. Is Barbrey Dustin the Camilla Parker-Bowles of Westeros? We don't know for sure, but we think Cleos Frey might be behind the Rogue POTUS Twitter account. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VI - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And C...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Be like Cortnay Penrose and stay in your castle if you have flu symptoms. We realize we misunderestimated Shae all along. Chicky has a Sasquatch story even if she won’t share it with us. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion X. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 423

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Qhorin Halfhand's all death deathity death and Jon's way braver than any of us. GRRM can write a great, suspenseful, chapter. Too bad he can't write Winds. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon V.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 422

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Which crazy ASoIaF prophet would you follow? Does Mel need a vision comprehension test? Mel may be the one giving birth, but both Stannis and Davos share in the responsibility for what happens next. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Davos II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 421

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's Fleet Week in King's Landing, as the Lannisters parade through the city, with predictable results. Jacelyn Bywater is a straight-talking dude. The Kingsguard kind of sucks. And The Hound really, really loves his Stranger. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IX - originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - E...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Save that dead husband--you can always use him to pay for a day at the zoo. Our patience with prophecies and stupid fashion conventions is at an end. Is Xaro Xhoan Daxos the P.T. Barnum of Essos? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Daenerys III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 419

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Shout out to all of you non-Jaime and/or Brienne fans so desperate for new ASoIaF content that you're willing to give us a listen. We're here for you. And, against our better judgment, we're also here for zombie skeleton Ned. Meanwhile, back in the Riverlands, Cat has a bad day. Edmure is a good guy, and Brienne needs a hug. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and...