Close the Door: Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Arya knows they’re going the wrong way but Gendry assumes the BWB know a Riverrun shortcut. Hot Pie was not made for life on the run, but he will handle all your breadbaking needs. Tom of Sevenstreams gets in a subtle dig at Jaime, but is this just a sign that George is too excessive with his Easter Eggs? Arya would have gotten away if Harwin didn’t have horse...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cersei is why Sansa can’t have nice things. Sansa’s getting all the cloaks. We figured out why Winds is so long in coming (and it’s not what you might think). Stop asking GRRM about discrepancies in the books. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa II (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 46...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Chicky commits a “meaty” chapter faux pas, but Jon really does have it bad for Ms. Kissed By Fire. George really wants us to know the Giants aren’t human, and reminds us why we always hate (but memory hole) Harma Dogshead. Tormund’s backstory is a little much, but at least it’s entertaining. Ygritte saves Jon more than once, and we wish we had her POV. Game of...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Catelyn’s joy at being reunited with Robb fades when she realizes her baby isn’t a virgin anymore. Everyone hates Edmure—the inevitable result of being the youngest sibling? Is Sybell Spicer the shadow Cat of the Westerlings? Also, Stark magical sperm. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn II (repost). Originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Doo...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Arya, Gendry, and Hot Pie meet the merry band from Robin Hood Men in Tights. George gave up on names and just started using placeholders like Husband and Boy. Hot Pie goes full Paul Hollywood in his bread critique. And Arya finally, briefly, gets to let go. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Arya II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episo...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. What is the process for becoming a Kingsguard? Do they ask them “If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?” Does Varys have back problems? Can Tyrion get any more disgusting? Is Shae dying to go the wedding of the century? How does Tyrion function without nose hair? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Tyrion II (repost). Orig...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Jaime fires off some classic quips, but the real surprise is that Brienne has a sense of humor too. Our favorite couple-to-be continues to bicker their way over the hills and through the woods of the Riverlands. Jaime tries to give a little bit, but Brienne isn't having any of it...yet. We're reminded again that GRRM gives these characters life, while the sho...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Davos looks like hell, but wants to blame Mel. Lyseni pirates are the best, especially that gem Salladhor Saan. Melisandre loves a good burning, but did she actually just save Davos's hide? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Davos II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 460

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Summer is a good boy, if a bit food motivated.  Meera continues to be low key awesome. Bran, like most 9-year olds, can't make a choice without a few tears. And, do we want to be safe, or do we want to fly? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Bran I.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 459

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Come sail away! Dany gets to be happy. Jorah gets to be gross. "Arstan" gets to be cool and we all get some background on Aerys, Rhaegar, and how to train your dragons. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones. A Storm of Swords - Daenerys I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 458

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. As Jon, medieval secret agent makes his way into the Wildling encampment, we talk about Ghost blankets, improbable anatomical injuries, the fact that we’re mercifully forgetting the show, and question why Mance really left the Night’s Watch. Also, is guest right still in place when your guests just won’t leave? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon I...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Olenna has her "Sure, Jan" moment. Did Mace wait for his mom to be playing bridge before working with Littlefinger to arrange the marriage for Margaery? Butterbumps has some serious game and may have edged Cheese Boy out of his place in Guile's heart. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa I. Originally recorded in 2018. Close The Door And Come Here...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Davos questions his life choices and tries to survive on crab sashimi. Does Devan have a magical version of A Storm of Swords? Or is being a fan of ASOIAF about to pay off big for him? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Davos I.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 455

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We hate Tyrion a little less than before. Is this a temporary respite? Tyrek Lannister: dead or alive? We get out the Reynolds Wrap as we speculate on his status. The Tyrells got game. Tywin Lannister: father of the year. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Tyrion I. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 454

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this episode, Arya, Hot Pie, and Gendry journey north, and we get Chicky’s horse girl input, debate which side of a tree moss grows on, and wonder if George was ever a boy scout. Join us as we realize that with ASoS, George is at the happy point in a craft project. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 45...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. After Catelyn Stark pulls out a Hail Mary setting Jaime free, nobody knows what to do with her, certainly not the middle management of Riverrun so they put her up in the poshest suite in the castle (worthy of a five-star review on TripAdvisor were it not for her dying father). Was Lysa’s pregnancy terminated before or after her marriage to Jon Arryn? And just...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Brienne is a superhero, Jaime is super snarky and Cleos is pretty much just there. Brienne gives just as good as she gets and we can't wait to see the animated version of her literally sinking a ship. It's the start of a beautiful relationship and we're so here for it. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Re-Reread ASoS Jaime I. Originally recorded in 2...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Chett is the worst kind of incel, but he's not dumb? Did anyone just think to ask the Wildlings if they're okay? The Night's Watch clearly needs a few women and an Almanac. Chicky lets us know that we don't need to be eating any bear meat. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Prologue.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 450

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We look back at Clash with some affection, and some relief. How does this book compare to AGoT? Who has the best introduction? And even though he's only in one chapter, let's talk about how Jaime brings the whole damn thing to life. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Retrospective.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 449

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. After two books of making fun of Luwin, we come around to really admiring the guy. See you on the weirwood net, buddy. While the ending of this chapter - and this book - never fails to make us cry, we wouldn't have minded more tales from the crypts. More wolves, fewer dragons, George! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran VII.

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon's cold and trying to figure out what's going on (and so are we). George has big thoughts on duty. Jon and Qhorin Halfhand have major eagle problems. According to Clotho, caves aren’t horse friendly. Rattleshirt might be noisy, but he’s not a dictator. Ghost doesn't want brothers to fight. It all ends with some surprisingly anti-climatic bone taking. And fi...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion’s issues start with Mom and go straight to Shae. Maggots and modern medicine. Is Tyrion at the Best Western or the Four Seasons? The world is Pod’s mattress. What’s up with the Dead Ladies Club? (go listen to episode 198). And on a special note, we once again had international representation with LoT and our guest (stealth Canadian FTW)! A Song of Ice a...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We find new and creative ways to say “Ugh, Theon, no!” as he finds more kids to potentially murder. Wex shames everyone into being brave, but no one thinks trying to hold Winterfell is a good idea. Theon, we know you were a hostage but listen to Maester Luwin, or your sister, or ANYONE, ffs... Anyway, Theon, you suck (but admittedly Ramsay sucks more). Bonus:...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tywin takes Lannister taste to the next level of gaudy, but his horse still takes a dump in front of the Iron Throne. Cersei is running rehearsals behind the scenes, and directs Sansa to look abandoned. The Lannisters commission jewelry to one-up the Tyrells, but we wonder about the mix of lions and roses. The throne cuts Joffrey and sends him crying off-stage...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If nothing else, Roose’s dinner order is en pointe. Should Qyburn research Biter’s cheese smell? LoT launches a conspiracy theory about the number of wolf pelts, and also decides Roose needs mittens. It’s definitely Aenys.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 443