Close the Door: Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Arya is not here for the romance novel cover that is Addam Marbrand. Give a man three names, terms and conditions may apply. Will we ever see Harrenhal again? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya VIII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 417

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Just how do you pronounce Aeron Damphair? How does a prince of the Ironborn get parental validation, power, and the medieval equivalent of trending on Twitter? But why oh why is Theon not considering what happens after he succeeds in his next plan of attack? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Theon III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 416

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Renly's dead and the King's Landing crowd isn’t sure how, but are glad he's gone. We lament the plot that did not come to be—Cersei going to Highgarden to negotiate with Olenna for Margaery’s hand (we could have had it all!) Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion VII. Encore of Episode 202 - originally recorded in 2018.   Close the...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Creepy children everywhere. The Walders tell it like it is. Jojen tells it like he thinks it is. Alebelly thinks he knows how to stop certain death and too many people aren’t bathing. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 414

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The Watch is on a road to nowhere good and Jon isn’t paying much attention to the signals his dire wolf is giving him. Does size matter when it comes to magic horns? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 413

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat has an aha moment in the sept, but diplomacy is not going to win this one. More like the coochie monster. As usual, Brienne gets misjudged by everyone, because no one loves her like we do. And we wonder, can shadow babies kill White Walkers? Let’s all pause to consider. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn IV. Encore of Episo...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Joffrey is why we have guillotines, but somehow it's all still Meghan Markle's fault. Sansa touts the company line and RIP Stafford Lannister - the family buffoon. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa III Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 411

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Toss those preconceived notions in the fire, because Stannis is the Baratheon brother being all heavy metal thunder in his bitchin' flame crown, while Renly is the one showing up in a squirrel belly cloak. Ew. At least it has some kind of peach holster. It's the year of the fire rooster, but we'd like to state for the record that we still don't have Winds. Geo...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jaqen H'ghar uses soap? Is he single? Evil may have its standards, but do we? Also, Tywin only has one kind of face. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 409

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lancel's the George Papadopoulos of Westeros, with the added bonus of a fluffy upper lip and certain doom. Tyrion is the worst, right? It's not just us? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion VII. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IV. Encore of Episode 201 - originally recorded in 2018. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 408

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Meera is the cool babysitter and the Reeds are obviously the Cajuns of Westeros. Speaking of which, who's up for The Walder Freys and the Acadian Driftwood live in concert! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 407

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Welcome to Qarth, the home of one-titty dresses and fish pedis! Dany seems to have her act together, but Jorah can get off his high horse when it comes to Ned Stark. And the crew of the Cinnamon Wind is as delightful as ever. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Daenerys II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 406

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Arya may be down on herself, but we know that our girl is a survivor. Harrenhal is as spooky as ever and maybe Littlefinger's fate is tied to bats? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 405

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lancel's got some Peter Brady action going on. Tyrion's a terrible little brother. Is anyone interested in these delicious Wall Scout Cookies? How about some craft butter? Get all of this and more as we don't celebrate our 200th episode. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IV. Encore of Episode 200 - originally recorded in 2018....

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Asha gets an unforgettable introduction, but then disappears for a book, so we, uh, forget about her. Theon gets his comeuppance in the grossest way possible. And, the Iron Islands aren't that bad as long as you like chowder? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Theon II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 403

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s Craster’s Keep, y’all! Arguably the worst house in the series with the worst dad in the series! Also, just how did Craster cook up his deal with the Others? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 402

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ladies and gentlemen...it's the moment you've been waiting for. Here comes the Beauty! Brienne of Tarth knows how to make an entrance. Renly knows how to host an army. Does anyone know where we can find some hot LARPing action? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn II. Encore of Episode 151 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Eat and be merry, for tomorrow we may die. That’s the mood in this chapter. Bran may be onto a surefire method for getting out of boring meetings. The Reed children come to the feast and Bran (and us) perks right up. And what’s up with the hero worship with Ser Arthur Dayne? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran III. Close The Door A...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Pro tip from the pyromancers...don't run if you're calling wildfire. Walk very very carefully. A lady could do worse than Cleos Frey, but no one does a Jim Bakker fire and brimstone impersonation like LoT. And, speaking of hell, it must have frozen over because we're kind of defending Cersei. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion V...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's another super grim, super short chapter that involves acorn paste and a lot of death. Also what, if anything, is appealing about House of Dragons? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 398

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this special Patreon requested episode, we examine George R. R. Martin's original A Song of Ice and Fire outline from a letter he sent to his publisher in 1993. Crazy, alternate universe fanfic or what could have been? Join us as we try to figure out just what the hell GRRM was thinking, wonder how much of the first version of ASoIaF survived, and thank the...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. Sansa's stuck at court surrounded by spies and bullis, with Dontos as her only hope. But is he her Florian or is someone else? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 396

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. There's no avocado toast at Pycelle's crappy brunch, but that doesn't stop Tyrion from a little poison theft. Stannis is a stickler at checking references—except when it comes to middle-aged clowns. Were the Blackfish and Jon Arryn secret lovers? Is every character but Brienne a problematic fave? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyri...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Poor Bran is stuck in multiple all-day meetings, written by an author who has never been around small children, while Lady Hornwood can't catch a break. George is in love with the Targs, but why? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 394

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Everyone knows about Jaime and Cersei thanks to Stannis and in a manner eerily reminiscent of a high school clique, Tyrion, Cersei, Littlefinger, and Varys decide how to spin the situation to advantage. GRRM is too busy writing fashion descriptions and that’s why we can’t have nice things. Is Cersei in search of a support group? Tyrion has a boner and we’re no...