Close the Door: Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Alas poor Yoren, stuck between a rock and a hard place where the Watch is nobody's enemy but nobody's friend. Hot Pie! Arya literally coming through a ring of fire with her moral compass still intact. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 392

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In what is possibly the shortest ASoIaF chapter, the ranging party arrives at Whitetree home to the biggest sheep-eating Weirwood ever. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 391

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We're back with a Patreon special request for a third fanfiction episode. Our panel of current fic writers and readers weigh in on favorite tropes, characterizations, and give out a slew of recommendations for your reading pleasure. Warning, this episode has audio issues! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Fan Fiction III.   Close the Door and Come Here...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as we question if Dany is suffering a psychotic break or doing a fine job setting up her own cult? Who wears fur in the desert? Did George ever pay attention in biology class? And lastly is Lynesse a trophy wife or smart cookie? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Daenerys I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 389

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Could a multi-cliff island castle like Pyke actually exist? Saltwater is corrosive and we’re worried about the amount of potatoes that might go to waste during grocery runs. The cliffs would come in handy if you need to yeet a lover like Theon, though. Like the cliffs, Theon’s "my real family would love me more" belief system crumbles when he gets home. Dampha...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Everyone asks “Who is Azor Ahai?” But no one asks “How is Azor Ahai?” Whoever it is, it’s not Stannis who needs way better PR. Sometimes your kids drive you to drink. And, finally, who is the most likable ASoIaF character, and why is it Davos? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Davos I.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 387

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We hit yet another “this coulda been an email” asoiaf chapter. Turns out wolves are scary, even if you had a pet direwolf. And Yoren is very good at his job, but we all mess up sometimes. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya III. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 386

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion's new cook sounds like a contender on the Westeros version of Top Chef. Janos Slynt can't keep his mouth shut, but still doesn't know when he should start spilling secrets. Varys and Tyrion start their bromance, Bronn reveals his true colors, and we long for an appearance by Ser Myxallyt in The Winds of Winter. George pls. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cleos Frey is too honorable for his own good. Cat is darn lucky she didn't take a road trip to Pyke with Theon. Someone needs to tell both Lord Karstark and Edmure to put on their big boy breeches. We discuss the true meaning of comets, the really bad timing of King Harren and treaties that no one is ever gonna sign (sorry Stark girls). Game of Thrones. A Song...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. As the Night’s Watch prepares for the great ranging, Sam is in research heaven. Join us as we speculate as to if Mormont is pulling a James T. Kirk, wonder why we’re getting a rando Targ history lesson, and wonder if Qyburn could have created the perfect Baratheon king. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon I.   Close The Door And Com...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this episode, we ask the important questions like how desperate is the Night’s Watch that they will take Biter as a recruit, what did Yoren know and when did he know it, and why was Jaqen H’gar on his way to the Wall? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 382

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Bran’s dealing with new houseguests, a feral little brother, and a babysitter who is 100% wrong all the time. Maybe the direwolves are the better option so who can blame him for singing the song of their people. Also, we’re never getting Winds and we know it. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran I. Close The Door And Come Here - Epi...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Get out your fresh rat kebobs and join Tyrion, Bronn and the boys as they ride in to King's Landing. Tyrbert might be our latest ship, although given Cersei & Tyrion's chemistry, is anyone up for a JCT OT3? Is Varys playing the long game with Barristan Selmy, or is he just trying to annoy us with riddles? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kin...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is the comet a sign of existential dread or something more meaningful like Dany’s dragons? Sandor deflects Joffrey’s “eye of Sauron.” The royal family needs better PR which arrives in the person of “funcle” Tyrion.  A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 379

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Arya has pandemic hair when we meet “ball-kicking-to-death” Hot Pie. Join us as we torture ourselves by wondering if this chapter is a remnant of a love triangle best forgotten?  A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 378

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We and Maester Cressen learn that Dragonstone is not a castle to grow old in especially when the crew does a scene from Mean Girls while Patchface being creepy as hell.  A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Prologue Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 377

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We close the book on A Game of Thrones. What did we like more this reread? What (other than Dany) made us cringe? And what are we looking forward to as we start A Clash of Kings? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones -Wrap Up and Retrospective.  Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 376

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The night comes alive with the music of dragons, but we get all riled up by where GRRM puts the cinnamon. If we look back, we are lost, but join us anyway as we reminisce about family funerals, our early love for Dany, and the 80s miniseries V. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys X. Encore of Episode 248 - originally recorded...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat learns you can go home again, but when you do it'll probably suck - much like young Petyr Baelish. The Northern lords and the Riverlands hold a war council in which Stevron Frey might actually make the most sense (we know!). Robb is declared the King in the North and we're sure it's all good times and glory from here on out. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon flees Castle Black, riding with his heart rather than his head. Don't we all wish he had direwolves to save us from our bad decisions? And speaking of Ghost, how would he and Jon fare against seven brothers of the Night's Watch? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon IX. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 373

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this chapter, things have gone South for the Lannister Army. Tywin knows what a vicious thug he has in the Mountain even if he’s all, “he’s just one of my employees. What do you want?” We learn that men in full plate armor do not float (take that, show!) and that game recognizes game. Also we consult the dictionary. No, really. We do. And lastly, no woman w...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Mirri Maz Duur kills baby Hitler and we are totally cheering her on. Did Dany really give birth to a lizard bat worm baby, or is Mirri just messing with her? Dany probably should have shopped around before she paid Mirri's price, amiright? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys IX. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 371

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sansa is just an 11-year old girl, everyone! Joffrey, on the other hand, is a 13-year old POS. Speaking of POS, what about that Kingsguard (sans Sandor)? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Sansa VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 370

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Luwin is the Scully to Bran's Mulder. We cringe at the beginning of Bran's Hodor abuse. Is Rickon a future Varamyr? And seriously, shouldn't everyone be more concerned about these kids? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Bran VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 369

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Let's all go to the Street of Flour! We admire Arya's survival instincts, as well as Joffrey's skill at producing a spectacle for the blood thirsty masses. Even though we've all read this chapter multiple times, we're still waiting for that version when someone rescues Ned. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Arya V. Close The Door And...