Close the Door: Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Drogo deserved his fate, but Mirri Maz Duur deserves an epic poem in her honor. Not that we really want to think about it, but how many Dothraki does it take to drag a dead horse? And how DO you pronounce maegi? We sure don't know. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys VIII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 367

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. How well do you know your Frey cousins? As well as the Blackfish obviously knows Jaime? Speaking of the Kingslayer, after his performance in the Whispering Wood should we start calling him the Terminator instead? Dragon high fives for everyone! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn X. Encore of Episode 147 - originally recorded i...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We think GRRM should pretend that sex is a suckling pig, while we're all going to pretend that a ruffled Bronn is really just a delightfully cheeky bird. Comma goes to the mat for Kevan Lannister, while we discover that his brother Tywin shares Jaime's questionable taste in armor. Chella has an ear abacus, and do the Lannister soldiers have a circle jerk - min...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Welcome to the worst Dany chapter ever. Drogo's wound is a bit more than a scratch. Dany is problematic, and Mirri Maz Duur is a true badass. But, at the end, all we can do is put this chapter in the fire. Also, dog cameos! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys VII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 364

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sam is the anonymous source at The Wall. All hail Lord Comormont. And Maester Aemon too, even though George never gives us a damn payoff. Speaking of payoffs, Devan's got some great fantasy recommendations...and some are even finished! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon VIII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 363

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. They may be literal river trolls, but we love the Freys now? We do, because Walder is your favorite someone-else's-relative. Are the Duggars modern Freys, or is it the other way around? And, the only place Lysa Arryn wants Robin fostered is on her boob. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn IX. Encore of Episode 144 - originally...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Did Robert fail Ned, or nail Ned? Was Rhaegar acting on prophecy, or acting on his dick? Did you know that gaoler sounds like "jailer"? We get down and dirty with poor, dead Ned in our first listeners' choice episode. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard XV. Encore of Episode 217 - originally recorded in 2018. Close The Door And...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Should the kingsguard be a life gig? Barristan delivers one hell of a resignation letter. Sansa just wants the system to work. Cersei is on brand as always. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Sansa V Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 360

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion brings the mountain clans home to meet his father. They may be gruff and into self-mutilation, but they have democracy and women's equality. Tywin is hot even though he's sporting Mungo Jerry's facial-do. Mia’s asoiaf children's story concept could work- baby dragons and kittens blepping galore. Donkeyleg serenades us with his Big Papa T song. Happy Hal...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Are the Manderlys really just wielding fancy pitchforks? Is tuna really the chicken of the sea? We meet the Supreme Creepster himself: Roose Bolton while Cat & Robb make all sorts of plans that we're sure are going to work just fine. Nothing to worry about here, kids. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VIII. Encore of Episode...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dany has a comparatively good thing going. Why would she want to mess that up? Dany's at the food court of the mall and in the middle of the pandemic, we are envious of her. Jorah opts to take the cannoli er the sausage. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 357

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  In this exposition heavy chapter, there are a hella lot of people at Winterfell. Robb is the new regional manager and everyone wants to either take his job or be his new BFF. Bran's in a bjorn. Everyone who goes south never comes back. Osha is the smartest person in the godswood. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon Bran VI. Close...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  CSI: Castle Black meets Evil Dead II. This chapter is a horror movie and the only ones with common sense are the animals and those couple of dudes at the back. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 355

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Die, Petyr Baelish, die. An unnecessarily complicated plan is what happens when Petyr, Varys, and Pycelle are involved. We do our favorite activity and theorize what might have been. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 354

  Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Does Syrio have a side hustle or does Ned just pay really really well? Join us as we look into Syrio/Jaquen theories, opportunities for making a quick dragon by dragging small children to the queen, and the issues of rich kids of wasting foodstuffs. - Arya IV Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 353

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ned's big plans come to their inevitable conclusion. We hate that Littlefinger gets his moment of triumph and wonder what Cat might have done differently from her poor, doomed husband. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard XIV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 352

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon has some entitlement issues, while Cotter Pyke would definitely fail one of those Top Chef blind taste tests. We love going Beyond the Wall, but why so close to dark, men of the Night's Watch? Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones – Jon VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 351

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Robert Baratheon: died with his boots on. Littlefinger still can't believe Cat fell in love with this idiot. Many re-reads into this stuff, we still shake our heads at poor, dumb, dead Ned. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard XIII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 350

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dany doesn’t want to eat horse heart, and we don’t want to hear about it. Did Drogo learn the Westerosi Common Tongue just to dunk on Viserys? Maybe Viserys doesn’t get power dynamics, but Dany does when she translates his doom. And we all get a little personal with an update on how we’re all surviving...everything. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A G...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. George’s fantasy genetics strike again. Things are bad when even fanboy Ned can admit Robert will do something monstrous. And is Cersei and Ned’s conversation a tribute to the film Dumb and Dumber, or are they just projecting their own morals onto each other? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard XII. Close The Door And Come Here...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Targaryen genetics remain a wtf. George’s blood orange foreshadowing creeps us out almost as much as Littlefinger does. We all get a little sad about Sansa and Jeyne’s last moment of fun. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Sansa III. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 347

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this special episode, we talk "Spoiler Alert" by Olivia Dade, a new romance novel loosely set in the Jaime/Brienne fandom. Is this book Nikolaj Coster-Waldau rpf? Sort of. Is Guile disappointed the fictional fandom didn't have a podcast? Yes. Do we adore that this is much more than just a romantic comedy? Also yes. (Warning for sound issues in the second ha...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime X Brienne. They need another chair in that throne room. How would things have changed if Ned had sent someone else? And just what are Ser Ilyn’s job responsibilities? A Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard XI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 345

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. This episode we’re full of realizations: Jerome Flynn pretty much owns the role of Bronn. GRRM is wrong (tune in to find out why), but we totally are the mountain clans, packing up a goat in our inventory for the road. Tyrion appears to be a morning person, but probably not much of a goat milker. Mord should not go to Casterly to get what Tyrion owes him. And...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ser Alliser Thorne is lucky everyone didn’t just peace out on him before taking their oaths. The Night’s Watch is having a personnel crisis and it shows. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones – Jon V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 343