Close the Door: Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Let’s get ready to RUMBLE! It’s Ser Vardis vs. Bronn in a duel to the death. Cat is filled with regret, while Lysa is filling her face with blackberry kebabs. There’s nary a Moon Door in sight, but that won’t stop us from mulling Targaryen runs or Petyr’s peter. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VII. Encore of Episode 142 - o...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Do sibling dynamics damn you for life? Renly Baratheon popinjay or a good king in another time? Also, why syphilis and other STDs are a game-changer for the panel. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. The Brothers Baratheon - Baratheon family dynamics. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 341

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Ned's old dream a bit of revisionist history? Because it can't be said enough: Rhaegar was a dbag. And while Robert and Cersei probably deserve each other, Cersei doesn't deserve that particular badge of honor. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard X. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 340

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion's got a big mouth and an even bigger negative review in store for The Eyrie on Westeros's version of Trip Advisor. Lysa is as unhinged as the Moon Door. We want fanart of Bronn carrying Tyrion, and we want it now.   Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion V. Encore of Episode 187 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The Starks may share a spiritual connection to their direwolves, but they still don't come when they're called. Robb is just doing the best he can. Theon is theoning. Osha is one smart cookie. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Bran V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 338

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dothraki bloodriders have limited future prospects and some really terrible perks. Viserys isn't into the Ed Hardy look, but we are? Jorah gets in some good digs, but should probably look in the mirror. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 337

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Littlefinger is just a disgusting human being. This is where Ned breaks up with Robert (and we break up with Robert.) Jaime goes full Lannister. We all cry about Jory and wonder if Ned is the ultimate poster child for ‘lawful good.’ Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard IX. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 336    

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion works his charm so hard even Cat is falling for it. The Blackfish names himself. Comma names Pervy Peter. No one knows how to name a teenaged chicken. Cat gets a little snobby about bastards. The climb is a little rocky, but when all else fails, titty. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VI. Encore of Episode 141 - origi...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Come on, Robert, is assassinating Dany business, or is it personal? Littlefinger has costed out hiring the faceless men before. Nedbert hits a rough patch, but we get consolation recipes from Finland! Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard VIII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 334

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us for possibly(?) our first two person episode ever. Arya’s chasing cats and starting to like the idea of not being recognized. We tour the Red Keep’s horror movie basement, enjoy some signature GRRM exposition, and wonder when (f)Aegon actually entered the building. Say what you want about Ned, but he’s the kind of dad who will kiss his kids even when t...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion plans a sharp lesson for Mohor, Lharys, & Kurleket (we see what you did there GRRM, nyuk nyuk nyuk). Cat learns that she was Petyr's Canadian girlfriend. We hold no ill will toward harp players in general, but we're dying to find out if Marillion's new shadowcat cloak is a tuxedo cat pattern or more of a cow cat thing.  Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and F...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. GRRM blows the giant air horns of foreshadowing, but Ned misses his moment to give Robert some badly needed information. Speaking of air horns, we hope you enjoyed Cleganebowl 1.0. Also, shut up about Jaime, Varys. You actually don't know everything! Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 3...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sansa's living it up in the Westerosi equivalent of the VIP tent at Coachella. Loras is the headliner, while Littlefinger slides into his role as chief creep. Septa Mordane had one job, while Sandor has plenty - including designated driver. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Sansa II   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 330

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. By what right does the trout judge the lion? We meet Masha Masha Masha, Marillion, stealth Bronn, and some of those damn Freys for the very first time. The Riverlands is thirsty for gossip. Cat's thirsty for revenge. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn V. Encore of Episode 140 - originally recorded in 2016.   Close The Door And...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Guile gets crazy with the spreadsheets, while Olenna can't stop talking trash about her own kids. Are 90s soaps a better representation of motherhood than just about any other form of entertainment? Is Hyle the Uncle Joey of Brienne's found family? We discuss these burning questions and more in this special episode about Motherhood in ASoIaF. Game of Thrones....

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Potboys have all of the tea. Tobho Mott: shopping by appointment only. Gendry is a big deal - seriously, step off Edric Storm fandom.   Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 327

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon is a leader of men, if you like that kind of thing. Sam is a coward, Ser Alliser Thorne has limited comedic talent, while Pyp is the artist we all need in these trying times. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 326

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ned enjoys a debatable quality of iced beverage with Grand Maester Pycelle as he sleuths the mysteries of Jon Arryn's death. But Ned is pretty bad at this, right? Also, can Westeros be any more sexist? Is someone going to make us an animated gif of Jaime and Robert's seeds fighting? Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard V. Close The...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. *This episode has a few sound issues, sorry!* Nan has all of the best stories, and Robb has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Bran, like the rest us, just wants everything back the way it used to be. Also, we want those ice spiders as big as hounds. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Bran IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - E...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Believe it or not, we discuss historic glacial movements. And, Cowabunga! we go back to the 90's and boy oh boy is it problematic. Why is Dany 13? And even after all of these years, Harry Lloyd is GoT's best casting decision. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys III. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 323

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ned is a good dad, and Arya is a precious cinnamon roll. Justice for Mycah! And don't you dare make us talk about Nymeria. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Arya I. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 322

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Welcome to the all-you-can-eat crab leg dinner at The Wall! Alliser Thorne bravely challenges Tyrion to a duel, while Lord Commander Mormont tells us exactly what's going to happen...5 books from now. Also, we still have a more few things to say about Game of Thrones season 7. Hold your aurochs. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyri...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Robert's maxed out all of the Iron Throne's credit cards. Among his many terrible qualities, Littlefinger is a world-class cockblocker. Did Cat really need to pull an Irish goodbye? Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 320

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  In this chapter, Jon has to confront his privilege and also deal with everything the recruitment posters left out. We all want badges in the Donal Noye fanclub. Also, why doesn’t Tyrion make the leap and understand the importance of the Wall? Is Ser Alliser capable of learning or is he just a jerk? Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We come to the startling conclusion that ASoIaF is basically a very, very, very dark John Hughes movie with Littlefinger in the evil Ducky role. What does Varys know and when does know it? Who gets the props for the total media blackout of the Tower of Joy? Inquiring minds want to know what Petyr's youthful letter to Cat said. And we all want to know if GRRM i...