Close the Door: Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Reunited and it feels so good! Bronn is one of us, but is he also Jaime’s DUFF? Brienne says Jaime’s just a friend, but the hearteyes and chin quivers tell us that he’s got what she needs. The Hound pisses on Lady Stoneheart (literally), while Jaime delivers an epic Carol5eva speech. Gather ‘round for more sad moon masturbation everyone! Game of Thrones. A Son...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Comma rails on poor kindergarten theater productions, while the rest of us fight over who gets to adopt Lyanna Mormont. Asha's on Kraken Spring Break and Jaime's hips aren't lying, Daddy really did wear the Lannister armor better. Sandor is so focused on his wood that he probably didn't hear our screaming about that episode 8 preview. And the podcast breaks. W...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Uncle Benjen can whip up a mean rabbit blood smoothie, but does he need to visit the Children’s day spa? BranRaven sees Larry kill the Mad King. Sam the Eagle and Randyll Tarly: same person or separated at birth? Why does the High Sparrow look like he’s never had a bath? Is Jaime be Lord of Casterly Rock for realz now and will we get Lady Stoneheart after all?...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Hold the door and come here, because we need a hug more than Bloodraven needs parental controls on weirwood.net. We ponder the tough questions like, is there a Red Woman finishing school? Do the Faceless Men do pro-bono work? And, is it incest if you're only cousins? What is this show doing to us? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x05 "...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Starks reunite and it feels so good. Tormund wants to invite a certain big, ugly wench for some Castle Black and chill. Jorah and Daario are feeling a little hangry, and it's too bad the High Sparrow never learned that a little hair of the dog will cure anything. Dany is heavy metal Jesus, Pycelle is a shuffling genius, and Larry and Carol are the same old/sam...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Jon Davos' rebound relationship? Bran is a surly teenage greenseer and Dany is joining the Dothraki Golden Girls (or is it the Facts of Life?). "I've got dragons" is our new catch-all excuse and remember kids, you can't take candy from strangers, but you can sure take it from that nice Maester Qyburn. Larry's got hype, but we're all dreading the Rickoning....

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Does L+H=J? If you're having a bad day (or bad death), just talk to Davos, but if you want to talk murder dogs , you've come to the wrong place. Were you singing Jon Snow, Superstar, or humming the Terminator theme. Whatever the resurrection, we've got no objection. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x02 "Home". Close The Door And Come H...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Maybe Melisandre is born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline. Ramsay needs a pack of papillons and do maesters have a vaginal link on their chains? Larry and Carol continue to destroy our souls, but we dare to hope that Dorne just got Poochied. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x01 “The Red Woman” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 110

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. With season six just around the corner, our panel wants Game of Thrones to go full Clash of the Titans. We pitch Essos reality TV shows, discuss Mustachegate 2016 and hope for a Brienne/Jon Snow meeting, if only for a new reason for Edd to fetch a block. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 6 Preview. Close The Door And Come Here - E...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this mostly Books vs. Show episode our panelists argue their way through an hour of what works and what doesn't.   Listen to this one - somehow, somewhere your opinion will be voiced.  And remember kids, send all your hate mail to @guileandsubterfuge on Tumblr.  Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 108

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  How many naked women does it take to chase away three hot Dothraki? Game Narrator Wontkins threatens to "turn this cart round" a few times. LoT purchases the Cadillac of horses, and *disclaimer* No actual horses were harmed in the making of this podcast. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. RPG adventure. Close the Door and come Here -...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We hook up with GoT Thrones? podcast to discuss our picks and pans through five tumultuous seasons of Game of Thrones. We relive the glory days of Lisa-with-a-Ta, Doran Doran, Jason Momoa, sexy old man love (we'll never forget you, Charles Dance), and Godo's fabulous videos. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones - Best and Worst of Seasons 1-5. Close the Doo...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Guile outgrosses GRRM, and the smallfolk of King's Landing out gross us all with their Westerosi tailgate antics. Saggy boobs and cat pinatas for everyone! We learn that Candyland is not a vicious game and that if Varys could train kittens to murder we'd all be in trouble. Adorable trouble. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Dance with Dragons - Cersei...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We think Margarine and Salsa sound like a good combo. Cersei remembers “Her”. And we imagine a totally different kind of bathtub scene. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Dance with Dragons - Cersei I. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 104

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tommen fishes for cats while Cersei gives awkward hugs. Taena is RSVPing "No" to the playdate from hell, while we would all gladly attend the Kettleblack Bowl. Margaery is going to get scurvy (actually rickets), but Cersei is finally going to get what's coming to her. Septas beware! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei X. Close t...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Could Brienne handle apple pie moonshine? Should Jaime pawn his golden hand to build the frock-frack shack? Robert + Ned = Gendry? Clutch your earphones as we have a Pro-JB-Baby vs Anti-JB-Baby rumble, a serious Brienne x Tyrion debate, ponder whether Qyburn is the Dr. Nick of Westeros, and fix each other up with ASOIAF characters. Game of Thrones. A Song of I...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The Devil Wears Donyse, but Cersei's sanity is wearing thin. Our favorite crazy Queen is not a "disciplined thinker", but she would have gotten away with if it wasn't for those meddling kids. Or those dim Kettleblacks. We're all in for Taena '16 and looking forward to that hot Cersburn bath scene in The Winds of Winter. George, pls. Game of Thrones. A Song of...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Hide the kids (but not the bottles) as we go extra explicit and figure out what exactly 3rd base is in Westeros. Who's wifey material? Who's raven sexting who? Who's Daven Lannister?  And WHO is Italian typing (spoiler alert: it's Clotho) Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 100

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Never wake a sleeping Maggy. It's valonqar this and younger, more beautiful, that, as we go all in on that &%#^ prophecy. Cersei finds her Brienne. Feel the Cersburn! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei VIII. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 99

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. All aboard the Lannister Targ Secret Shame Train. First stop: Dysfunction Junction. We dig deep and ponder the big questions like: Who's the golden child? Who's the peacemaker? Who's not your real mom? And, is Lancel any good in bed (nope)? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Lannister Family Special. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 98

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Behold the dogs of war! We contemplate a 19-year old Jaime, while Cersei contemplates the Arbor wine supply and not-so-fondly recalls nameday sex with Robert. Myrish Swamp? Sounds like you need a shower. And what the heck is Qyburn doing down in the dungeon? Human centipede anyone? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei VII. Close...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. No one wants to get their dress dirty. Marg’s posse all have the cool names. So do the ships, and by ships we mean the kind that go in water. Megga x Mark Mullendore and monkeys for everyone? And Sweet Cersei sings: Whatever it is I think I see becomes an Incest relationship to me. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei VI. Close t...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's another rough day at the office for Cersei: bill collectors to the right and laundry accidents to the left. Chicky needs to keep her bitch in line. The North Remembers, but sadly, Cersei has forgotten all she never learned at her father's knee. Join us for for bathtub memories, Kettleblacks galore, the first Ser Pounce sighting, and the proposed prohibiti...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We’re all gonna need some wine to get through this committee meeting. Qyburn is the under-appreciated Westerosi Martha Stewart. Lots of heads floating around. Cersei sings "If They Could See Me Now". And LoT gives Ash a Jumbotron proposal she can’t refuse. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei IV. Close the Door and come Here - Ep...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore is destitute. Let the bargain shopping begin! Lady Eon Rune is getting married, and its a nice day for a red wedding. Come inside me bro. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. RPG adventure. Close the Door and come Here - Episode 93