Close the Door: Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Let’s get ready to RUMBLE! It’s Ser Vardis vs. Bronn in a duel to the death. Cat is filled with regret, while Lysa is filling her face with blackberry kebabs. There’s nary a Moon Door in sight, but that won’t stop us from mulling Targaryen runs or Petyr’s peter. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VII Close The Door And Come He...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion works his charm so hard even Cat is falling for it. The Blackfish names himself. Comma names Pervy Peter. No one knows how to name a teenaged chicken. Cat gets a little snobby about bastards. The climb is a little rocky, but when all else fails, titty. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VI. Close The Door And Come Here...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. By what right does the trout judge the lion? We meet Masha Masha Masha, Marillion, stealth Bronn, and some of those damn Freys for the very first time. The Riverlands is thirsty for gossip. Cat's thirsty for revenge. And we're happy to drink it all in. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn V Close The Door And Come Here - Episode...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We come to the startling conclusion that ASoIaF is basically a very, very, very dark John Hughes movie with Littlefinger in the evil Ducky role. What does Varys know and when does know it? Who gets the props for the total media blackout of the Tower of Joy? Inquiring minds want to know what Petyr's youthful letter to Cat said. And we all want to know if GRRM i...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as we ask ourselves why DO we read this series? We discuss why people hate Catelyn (she’s willing to go full Cersei on the direwolves) and why people love her (she is so badass), how GRRM packs this chapter full of irony for the re-reader, and just who Robb and Sansa should have been promised to. Also, would Stranger Things have distracted Littlefinger...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tune in as Cat and Ned make the hottest room in Winterfell even hotter. He may let it all hang out, but Ned’s not a planner, you guys. Lysa likes the Littlefinger, but does he speak her secret language? And it turns out Jon’s a huge downer even when he’s not in the room. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn II. Close the Door an...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In Winterfell's godswood, Cat sees the Old Gods everywhere, while her husband sees a chance to get his Nedbert on. Join us as we go back to the start. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 136

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Spoilers and foilers galore! We try to separate the treasure from the trash. Do Jon & Dany get frequent flyer miles on Dragon Air? Is Cersei pulling a telenovela-inspired fast one on the unwitting Larry? Will Davos make a rowing-related dad joke? Is the orgasm wall really going to be a thing? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 7 Up...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Clowns are coming! What do the latest seasons of Game of Thrones reveal (or not reveal) about Winds of Winter? Are bald man just secret Targaryens? Anyone want to donate to our Kickstarter campaign to send Kathy Bates to George's door so we can actually read this book someday? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Winds of Winter Speculation - Part II Close...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dunk the Lunk and Brienne the Beauty have more in common than just some DNA. Join us as we compare and contrast the similarities and differences between our favorite true knights, their squires, and their love interests. Is Bloodraven a closet JB shipper? Is Dunk a future deadbeat dad? Is a comet going to wipe out everyone in the end (really!)? Ser Duncan the...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dunk & Egg blunder their way into spoiling a rebellion. Maynard Plumm (if that's his REAL name) explains it all. Dunk has no choice but to be a hero, and Bloodraven thinks it's about time someone gave Egg a clout to the head. Is bathing in blood just Westerosi botox? We don't know the answer to that, but we do know that we're sad to say goodbye to these lovely...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. John the Fiddler dreams of Dunk. And Dunk's junk. Dunk needs to get in the concussion protocol, Ser Glendon needs to get a more realistic last name, and Egg needs to get over here so we can give him a group hug. There are plots a plenty for one and all as the world's worst conspirators settle in at Whitewalls. Ser Duncan the Tall. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ic...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's time for Crossing Swords: The Prequel. Dunk-On Funkler 5eva! Thanks, Bloodraven. Aegon IV was a true Powerball and Young Walder Frey is as big of a dick as Old Walder Frey. Join us for songs (really!), dance (not really), and apt comparisons of Dunk & Egg to major cleaning products brands. Ser Duncan the Tall. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. The...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. No news is...uh, no news, so join us as we go live and wildly speculate about the fate of our favorite and not-so-favorite characters. Will Jon Snow die again? Will Arya reunite with Gendry and Hot Pie (HOT PIE!)? Will Jaime kill Cersei in a romantical murder suicide (ugh)? Are we the whisper on the wind that D&D are hearing in the writer's room (yes - and als...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. While Ser Eustace puts the finishing touches on his Blackfyre fan fiction (Dunk x Alysanne 5eva!), Ser Duncan the Tall has some sexy dreams (is that you Bloodraven?) and comes up with a plan to save the day. Rohanne Webber likes following through on threats, cheek-related injuries, and big blondes. Sound like anyone we know? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dunk & Egg climb down from Chicken Tower into the lair of Lady Rohanne Webber, who promptly offers Dunk some pink meat in exchange for his sword. Dunk's in over his head when it comes to talking to pretty girls. And, speaking of heads, we have a great idea for a new product tie-in (you can thank us by writing that JB table scene, GRRM). Game of Thrones. A Song...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Summer is coming and water rights are a very serious thing. Dunk & Egg deal with droughts while we deal with more important matters - like why can't Bloodraven afford an eyepatch? Ser Bennis ruins everything when he just can't stay in his lazy lane. Are we sure the villagers aren't just saying "What?" Backdoor/Moondoor, whatever it is, all we know is that we w...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as we ponder the question we know you’re all thinking: how are Dunk and Brienne like the X-Men? Eon gets vengeance on Roy Dotrice for his unique pronunciations of our favorite characters’ names. Who will fight alongside us in our own personal Trial by Seven? Chicky argues for the importance of good hair in a fellow champion. And finally, vote Baelor -...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Aegon is a good egg. Monarchy is a shitty form of government, but it’s even shittier when a bunch of incestuous freaks marry. Is that a reference to Brienne or have we reached a new level of obsession? And just how bangable is Dunk the Hunk? How many Targs is too many? Chicky and Comma eat crow (we should have listened to LoT and Eon). Dunk & Egg - The Hedge K...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's time to turn off the TV and open up the books as we discuss our favorite ASoIaF chapters. The only thing Guile loves more than Jaime and Brienne are spreadsheets. Who knew the Red Wedding was really the opening scene of a sophisticated adult romcom? Brienne is a goddamn hero, Jaime is a poet and we're all going to drown in the Hoppinhal beer pit. Game of...

Lady Eon Rune is getting warg happy.  Who doesn't love a creepy clown? Lady Splice that's who! The She Bear is desperate for a maester. Fighting a sorceress in a flammable alchemy lab? Sounds like a good idea to me! New squires might want to seek employment elsewhere. Ser Chicky is like a kitten in a room full of dangling strings. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House D...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We are on the hunt for Lady Rune's cat Finn. Ser Chicky picks up a new squire (on probation). Our fearsome troop of ladies receive a lukewarm welcome from the inhabitants of Castle Black Horn. Who's our liege lord anyway? We meet Jonah "the brave". LoT awkwardly flirts with a Dornishman. Lady Splice drinks and intrigues (she does one better than the other). Ga...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We take the podcast live and raise the banners for Lord Edmure. There’s a Close The Door drinking game and no one told us? Get out! Is Selwyn Tarth a secret dragon rider, or are we going to have to add that to our list of failed predictions? Join us as we celebrate not only another season down the tubes,but the majesty of Dany’s jousting and cavorting eyebrows...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Life lessons from Westeros: You don’t trust Littlefinger and you don't just have a zombie Mountain around for shits & giggles. In other news, has Carol finally left the building? Does Olenna travel with her own personal Cheese Boy? Did Daario get Jorahed? Were D&D inspired by Not Another Teen Movie? We’ll answer these questions and more in the season finale....

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Let’s get ready to rumble! Dany’s dragons are as majestic as a Charlton Heston classic, while Tormund & Davos debate which is better: a good drink or a good bowel movement? Rickon runs a straight line, while the birth of Firekraker is anything but straight. Do zombies have a sell-by date? Is anyone really surprised by the outcome of SnowBowl? Wanna hear some P...