Close the Door: Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lord Walder Frey and The Chinless Collective cordially invite you to the Red Wedding (the red is for love!). The music is crap (you try playing the lute while sitting on a crossbow) and the food is worse, but at least the reception isn't boring. Sob! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episod...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We’re not sure how Walder Frey keeps finding wives, but we’re glad he never met Selwyn Tarth. Cat’s got bread, salt, and hip size on the brain. Roose may be an immortal Mike Pence, but at least he’s proud of Ramsay. We wonder if Jaime was Brienne’s chaperone. And everybody needs to listen to their dogs. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Sword...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s still raining. The party of the damned is on their last road trip and everything hurts. Catelyn wants Robb to name Ser Random from the Vale as his heir, but he’s not having any of it. We’re positive there’s a will, but does it really matter? How did we miss what was gonna go down the first time we read this? There is good news, though! Tina (cutiepillar-b...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Hoster’s dead, y’all. Tully funerals are kind of like ours except no one is bringing the equivalent of a three-bean salad. Edmure looses his shaft, but can’t finish. And Lame Lothar Frey and Walder Rivers are really expert at good cop/bad cop. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 164

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If you were wondering if Lord Karstark could be more of a jerk, the answer is a resounding yes, as his act of pointless vengeance puts Robb in an impossible position. Between the nakedness of Willem Lannister and Tion Frey’s bodies and Jeyne being way too comfortable talking to her new mother-in-law about all the sex she’s having with Robb, it’s an icky chapte...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Catelyn’s joy at being reunited with Robb fades when she realizes her baby isn’t a virgin anymore. Everyone hates Edmure—the inevitable result of being the youngest sibling? Is Sybell Spicer the shadow Cat of the Westerlings? Also, Stark magical sperm. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 162

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. After Catelyn Stark pulls out a Hail Mary setting Jaime free, nobody knows what to do with her, certainly not the middle management of Riverrun so they put her up in the poshest suite in the castle (worthy of a five-star review on TripAdvisor were it not for her dying father). Was Lysa’s pregnancy terminated before or after her marriage to Jon Arryn? And just...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore’s adventures continue. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 11. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 160

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore’s adventures continue. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 10. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 159

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Larry Lannister rears his ugly head. Does LB have the same appeal as JB? While we're skeptical about what season 7 might hold for Jaime and Brienne, we've come (we know what we said) to look forward to Wallgasm 2017. Is Stone D the new Fat Pink Mast? Find out this and more on our latest Season 7 update. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s the Battle of the Cats! Book! Catelyn is a Cat that will scratch you, but Michelle Fairley has so much chemistry with everyone she has a scene with, that we love Show! Catelyn anyhow. What we don’t love so much is Todd Lannister and how Cat’s whitewashed into forgiving Jon. Benioff hasn’t just pissed off the ASOIAF fandom—the Homer fandom is just as hardc...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. This is how rumors get started! Cat, Brienne, and Jaime come together in the Riverrun dungeon, but was Brienne plugging her ears the whole time? Cat continues her aesthetic appreciation of the Kingslayer, and after months of self-reflection, Jaime comes to the conclusion that he's basically pretty awesome. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Ki...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat is every older sibling ever, but she's still not getting the victories she wants. Is Barbrey Dustin the Camilla Parker-Bowles of Westeros? We don't know for sure, but we think Cleos Frey might be behind the Rogue POTUS Twitter account. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 155

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Shout out to all of you non-Jaime and/or Brienne fans so desperate for new ASoIaF content that you're willing to give us a listen. We're here for you. And, against our better judgment, we're also here for zombie skeleton Ned. Meanwhile, back in the Riverlands, Cat has a bad day. Edmure is a good guy, and Brienne needs a hug. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat has an aha moment in the sept, but diplomacy is not going to win this one. More like the coochie monster. As usual, Brienne gets misjudged by everyone, because no one loves her like we do. And we wonder, can shadow babies kill White Walkers? Let’s all pause to consider. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn IV. Close the Door...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Toss those preconceived notions in the fire, because Stannis is the Baratheon brother being all heavy metal thunder in his bitchin' flame crown, while Renly is the one showing up in a squirrel belly cloak. Ew. At least it has some kind of peach holster. It's the year of the fire rooster, but we'd like to state for the record that we still don't have Winds. Geo...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ladies and gentlemen...it's the moment you've been waiting for. Here comes the Beauty! Brienne of Tarth knows how to make an entrance. Renly knows how to host an army. Does anyone know where we can find some hot LARPing action? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 151

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cleos Frey is too honorable for his own good. Cat is darn lucky she didn't take a road trip to Pyke with Theon. Someone needs to tell both Lord Karstark and Edmure to put on their big boy breeches. We discuss the true meaning of comets, the really bad timing of King Harren and treaties that no one is ever gonna sign (sorry Stark girls). Game of Thrones. A Song...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Two blonde knights walk into a room...and we speculate endlessly on what happens next. What would you name your anti-dragon gun? Will Larry get fooled again? Do the Faceless Men account for big bootys when choosing their victims? We tackle these questions and more in our latest season update. Yes listeners, there will be lumpia. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat learns you can go home again, but when you do it'll probably suck - much like young Petyr Baelish. The Northern lords and the Riverlands hold a war council in which Stevron Frey might actually make the most sense (we know!). Robb is declared the King in the North and we're sure it's all good times and glory from here on out. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. How well do you know your Frey cousins? As well as the Blackfish obviously knows Jaime? Speaking of the Kingslayer, after his performance in the Whispering Wood should we start calling him the Terminator instead? Dragon high fives for everyone! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn X Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 147

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore’s adventures continue. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 9. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 146

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore messes around in the lab and there are dire consequences. Sand gets EVERYWHERE. Lady Splice is not having any clowning around.  You know what they say... 'you just can't go home again'.  Some jerk makes a creepy return. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 8.  Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 1...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. They may be literal river trolls, but we love the Freys now? We do, because Walder is your favorite someone-else's-relative. Are the Duggars modern Freys, or is it the other way around? And, the only place Lysa Arryn wants Robin fostered is on her boob. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn IX. Chapter summaries from toweroftheha...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Are the Manderlys really just wielding fancy pitchforks? Is tuna really the chicken of the sea? We meet the Supreme Creepster himself: Roose Bolton while Cat & Robb make all sorts of plans that we're sure are going to work just fine. Nothing to worry about here, kids. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VIII Close The Door And...