Close the Door: Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Did Robert fail Ned, or nail Ned? Was Rhaegar acting on prophecy, or acting on his dick? Did you know that gaoler sounds like "jailer"? We get down and dirty with poor, dead Ned in our first listeners' choice episode. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard XV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 217

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Alayne's got the Eyrie under control, poor Sweetrobin included. Lothar x Mya 5Eva and Sansa x Littlefinger NEVA! Myranda Royce is angling for her next husband and everyone in the Vale is probably already looking forward to next spring's big thawed oxen feast. Join us as we head back down the mountain in another of our favorite chapters. Game of Thrones. A Song...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. There's no crying in prophetic visions, Bran. While some may question the wisdom of listening to the voices in your dreams, we've got a pocket full of corn and a headful of Third-Eye Blind. Join us as we look deep into the heart of winter and conclude that Summer really got his name because "Here, Spring!" would sound dumb at the dog park. Game of Thrones. A S...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's murder in a winter wonderland! But oh what a wonderland it is. We want to linger in the beauty of a snowy Winterfell, but the Moon Door beckons. Lysa deserves our sympathy, and she also deserves to binge watch a few shows on the Westerosi version of OWN. Oh, and stop trying to make Hot Hyle happen. Game of Thrones A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Davos gets the best food and the best gossip while waiting for Wyman Manderly to cut off his head and hands. The Wolf Den might have the world’s worst Christmas tree trimmings, but it’s a heck of an homage to the Stark-Manderly mutual appreciation society. Finally, we all fist pump because the North Remembers...even if some of us forgot to read the right chapt...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In the first of "Our Favorite Chapters" series, we explore the vaguely heroic patina of the Night's Watch, the sweetness of rancid butter and the nod that launched a thousand ships. Join us for kill the boying, baby switching, and block fetching, with an added bonus of diet Jaime himself: Ser Hyle Hunt. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. ADwD Jon II Clos...

Spoilers. Profanity. Jaime x Brienne. Has the bang that was promised, actually been promised? Why is Jon Snow in King's Landing, and why is he wearing fur (think of the direwolves)? Get ready for hot cart action sometime in 2019 - we can only hope Hot Pie is in charge of concessions. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 8 Update 2. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In a thousand years, will Jaime and Brienne be remembered as Goldenhand the Just and Brienne the Beauty or will we still be dreaming of a Dream of Spring? Craster has only the best lawyers, which is a good thing since the Night King is apparently Skeletor. Join us as we wonder who'll live, who'll die and who will tell the story of Jaime and Brienne (George, pl...

  Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion’s issues start with Mom and go straight to Shae. Maggots and modern medicine. Is Tyrion at the Best Western or the Four Seasons? The world is Pod’s mattress. What’s up with the Dead Ladies Club? (go listen to episode 198). And on a special note, we once again had international representation with LoT and our guest (stealth Canadian FTW)! Game of Thron...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Tyrion a better fighter than he gives himself credit for? Is Blackwater a Hieronymous Bosch painting come to life or are those antler men falling from the sky? Was Joanna Lannister a Tiger Mom or a gentle lamb? Also, Comma's not our real mom! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XIV Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 208

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. As the Battle of the Blackwater rages, we learn that Joffrey is many things, but at least he recycles. The Hound breaks, Tyrion rises to the occasion, and we don't mean to brag, but we have the best listeners. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XIII Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 207

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. While revenge is a dish best served cold, Cersei serves her threats with a side of greens. We realize that Jaime is the Michael Bluth of Westeros, and that if you want to find your inner Tywin, you can't go halfway. Also, was GRRM missing the "G" (for genetics) volume of the grocery store encyclopedias? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion prepares King's Landing for the coming battle...by holding office hours. Jacelyn Bywater continues to tell it like it is. Hallyne is super pumped about productivity increases in wildfire production, and Tyrion won't hear what Shae is trying to tell him. Also - we would all be terrible maids. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Ty...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Be like Cortnay Penrose and stay in your castle if you have flu symptoms. We realize we misunderestimated Shae all along. Chicky has a Sasquatch story even if she won’t share it with us. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion X.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 204  

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's Fleet Week in King's Landing, as the Lannisters parade through the city, with predictable results. Jacelyn Bywater is a straight-talking dude. The Kingsguard kind of sucks. And The Hound really, really loves his Stranger. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IX.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 203

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Renly's dead and the King's Landing crowd isn’t sure how, but are glad he's gone. We lament the plot that did not come to be—Cersei going to Highgarden to negotiate with Olenna for Margaery’s hand (we could have had it all!) A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion VIII Close the Door And Come Here - Episode 202

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lancel's the George Papadopoulos of Westeros, with the added bonus of a fluffy upper lip and certain doom. Tyrion is the worst, right? It's not just us? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion VII Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 201

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lancel's got some Peter Brady action going on. Tyrion's a terrible little brother. Is anyone interested in these delicious Wall Scout Cookies? How about some craft butter? Get all of this and more as we don't celebrate our 200th episode. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 200

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Pro tip from the pyromancers...don't run if you're calling wildfire. Walk very very carefully. A lady could do worse than Cleos Frey, but no one does a Jim Bakker fire and brimstone impersonation like LoT. And, speaking of hell, it must have frozen over because we're kind of defending Cersei. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion V...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this special episode, we're thankful that GRRM recognizes that women are people, we just wish they were people who were 5 years older. If we can't have the Winds of Winter, how about the Winds of Women? But really, where ARE all of the middle-aged women, George? Join us as we kick off 2018 with a boot to the patriarchy. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fi...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  We ponder the most popular shows on Westeros TV and who really needed to smoke some weed. LeBron Targaryen is a kick ass name and Guile knows a little too much about Wisconsin-based serial killers. Shout out to our 14-year old listeners and death by kittens. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Drunkcast 6.0. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 197

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. There's no avocado toast at Pycelle's crappy brunch, but that doesn't stop Tyrion from a little poison theft. Stannis is a stickler at checking references—except when it comes to middle-aged clowns. Were the Blackfish and Jon Arryn secret lovers? Is every character but Brienne a problematic fave? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyri...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Everyone knows about Jaime and Cersei thanks to Stannis and in a manner eerily reminiscent of a high school clique, Tyrion, Cersei, Littlefinger, and Varys decide how to spin the situation to advantage. GRRM is too busy writing fashion descriptions and that’s why we can’t have nice things. Is Cersei search of a support group? Tyrion has a boner and we’re not a...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion's new cook sounds like a contender on the Westeros version of Top Chef. Jano Slynt can't keep his mouth shut, but still doesn't know when he should start spilling secrets. Varys and Tyrion start their bromance, Bronn reveals his true colors, and we long for an appearance by Ser Myxallyt in The Winds of Winter. George pls. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Get out your fresh rat kebobs and join Tyrion, Bronn and the boys as they ride in to King's Landing. Tyrbert might be our latest ship, although given Cersei & Tyrion's chemistry, is anyone up for a JCT OT3? Is Varys playing the long game with Barristan Selmy, or is he just trying to annoy us with riddles? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kin...