Close the Door: Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. What bearded man is getting stabbed now? We're adding more to our ever-growing "would've been cool" list. Are we the Charlie Brown to D&D's Lucy? If you spend millions of dollars and 55 nights filming a TV show, but no one can see it, did it really happen? Next week, how about you open all the windows and come here. Game Of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Gam...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Guys, the crypts are totally safe. Cruise ships to Essos would be a pretty lucrative business venture right now. Ghost gets Photoshopped into the show and Arya gets hers, to mixed reviews. Give Alfie Allen all the awards now please. We are drunk on sunlight as we witness the wedding, I mean knighting of Brienne of Tarth. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cersei wants to know where her elephants are. We just want to know who has our 5-year anniversary wood. Bronn's gonna Bronn, Bran's gonna Bran (this year with 10% more humanity!), but we're still waiting for Brienne to...Brienne? Sansa and Sam are the episode MVPs, but don't get too attached to poor little Ned Umber. The dead may be coming, but so is Jaime Lan...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Put on your tinfoil hats and buckle up as we delve into some questionable spoilers for season 8 of Game of Thrones. Who will take the throne? Who lives? Who dies? Has GoT made us all numb to incest? Hey Google. How does one kill an un-dead dragon? Game of Thrones. A Song Of Ice and Fire. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 264

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Theon Greyjoy, you were a nice boy, until you had those two kids barbequed. Theon's biggest mistakes could fill a book - or even a series of books, but why do we feel for him anyway? Game of Thrones. A Song Of Ice and Fire. Theon Greyjoy. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 263

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We loved Bran from the start, but we're kind of terrified of him in the future. Does he just need a good old fashioned Catholic-nun style stick to the knuckles to keep him in line? As Korg would say, Winterfell can be rebuilt, but will Bran ever make it home or will he help close the door on the series as a tree? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Bran S...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Listen to us fawn all over our favorite Onion Knight as we talk about his meteoric rise from smallest of the smallfolk to Hand of the King. Should Davos have made his move against Mel sooner? Is he the best adapted character in Game of Thrones? Did he break the Siege of Storm’s End for honor and glory, or for cash? And why is he so devoted to a guy who chopped...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us for an in depth discussion of our favorite baker and some of the other smallfolk of Westeros. We tackle all of the most important Hot Pie questions. Is Hot Pie the smartest character in the series? Should we subscribe to the Azor Hot Pie theory? And, more importantly, how would Hot Pie fare in the Great British Bakeoff? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice a...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. What's your favorite Gendry moment and why is it only what LoT says? Is Gendry busy doing the deed with Jeyne Heddle, or does he need Davos to explain that the facts of life don't include leeches? We delve into Westeros' other, handsome, righteous bastard in our latest character episode. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Gendry. Close The Door And Come...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Here's to Robert...he's a horse's ass. He's also that dude at your High School reunion still talking about the Big Game. We discuss Robert's failed potential, his many flaws, and why so many of us love him anyway. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Robert Baratheon. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 258

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Bronn is an Everyman character, albeit one who is a bit too eager to do Tyrion’s wetwork. Is Bronn one of the few characters in ASoIaF who hasn’t made a mistake? Rules of physics do not apply to Bronn. Listen as we discuss why we think he’ll make it out alive. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire—Ser Bronn of the Blackwater.   Close the Door and Come Here –...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We love Robb even though he’s a teenage king who thinks he knows better than his mom. Is there inappropriate chemistry between Show! Robb and Show! Catelyn and do we really mind it if there is? Grey Wind lives! That’s a theory we’ve now adopted and since we’re never getting Winds, we can believe whatever we want. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire—Robb St...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Theon is a hero, but he's still Theon. GRRM needs to insert more of his family drama into those books he's not writing. Are the spearwives more like sex workers, carnies, or both? More than nearly any character, we think Jeyne deserves a happy ending. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and FIre. A Dance with Dragons - Theon I Close The Door And Come Here - Episode...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon steals our hearts, even when in the depths of despair. GRRM has a lot to say about honor, duty and what makes a good king. We have a lot to say about...the merits of ice cells vs. sky cells. Finally, is it "Stannis!" or "Stan-nis!"? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon X. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 254            

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Theon struggles with his captivity, phantom "limb" syndrome, and a lot of TMI. What's Barbrey Dustin really up to? Not only does everyone peak in high school in Westeros, but they've had the same top 40 for the past hundred years. Meanwhile we have further evidence that GRRM just really has no understanding about female anatomy. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We try to sift through the BS to bring you the leaks that were promised. Did NCW film 12 different Jaime's death scenes? Does the thought of a Jon/Dany happily ever after make you root for the Night's King? If we can't have flying cars, can we at least get tacos delivered by dragons? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 8 Preview #5....

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. This is another Listener’s Choice episode. Clearly you all hate us, because you chose the Prologue from A Dance with Dragons a.k.a. the horror story of Varamyr Sixskins. Join us as we dive into the head of serial baby-eater Varamyr while contemplating our own poor life choices. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Dance With Dragons - Prologue - Varamyr...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Whether it's egg nog, champagne, or simply the champagne of beers, join us as we blunder our way through another drunkcast. If we're being honest, we probably don't remember what we talked about - but we're sure it was awesome. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Holiday Drunkcast - Drunkcast 8.0.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 250

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Raise a glass of blindshine as we catch up with No One in Braavos. Arya's senses are working overtime, as she proves that you can take the girl out of Winterfell, but you can't take the Stark out of the girl. The House of Black and White better watch out, because she's going to burn the whole thing down (how better to dodge those pesky student loan collectors?...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The night comes alive with the music of dragons, but we get all riled up by where GRRM puts the cinnamon. If we look back, we are lost, but join us anyway as we reminisce about family funerals, our early love for Dany, and the 80s miniseries V. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys X.  Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 248

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Melisandre isn't the most detail-oriented of Red Priestesses, but she does know how to spin some Yanny vs. Laurel-style magic. Are fingerbones necklaces a thing in Westeros? And, we are resisting those Winds "spoilers" in the GoT scripts with every fiber of our beings. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Dance with Dragons - Melisandre I.  Close The Doo...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. How much PTO does the Kingsguard get? Jaime and Cersei couldn't find a better place to do it than in a rat-infested tower? Is Bran the future Robert Smith of the trees? Join us all in a little 10cc as we contemplate the things we do for love. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Bran II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 246

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We're all lined up for dinner at White Harbor's very own Red Lobster (we hear the biscuits are great). Does Davos wear a WWSD bracelet? Wylla Manderly is the best, but the entire Merman Court deserves an Oscar. Can anyone give us the Bullet Points of Fire & Blood? #NotAllJareds Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Dance with Dragons - Davos III. Close Th...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Welcome back, Jaime Lannister. Your banter with Tyrion is awesome, even when you're breaking each other's hearts. Tyrion and Varys hold hands through the creepiest date night ever. Shae pets the wrong cat and Tywin gets what's coming to him as we finally close the door on Tyrion's chapters. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Tyrion XI...

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Tywin a dad of his word? We’re not so sure. We are pretty sure he’s being poisoned, though. Tyrion’s putting all his faith in the Red Viper, and we wonder why Tywin didn’t see that coming. Join us for Inigo Montoya vs. The Mountain, a trial by combat for the ages, but not for the faint of heart. Just remember that snakes have no hands, but they do have eyes...