Change My Relationship

Manipulative undermining occurs when a person deliberately and deceitfully does whatever it takes to take away your power. Learn more about this manipulative tactic by listening to this podcast.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be...

Are you living congruently in your relationships? You are not if you are not setting boundaries and living in a way that aligns with your values and convictions. Dysfunctional and difficult relationships often weaken our resolve to stand up for what we believe is right. Watch this video to find out how to live congruently in your relationships.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Face...

Many things are said in Christian circles that lead us to draw conclusions about scriptural truths that aren't completely accurate. One of those is that God breaks those who love him. Have you gotten the impression that even though God is good, He wants us to be broken so He can teach us? I know I have. I hear things said all the time that lead to that conclusion, but in this video, I challenge th...

You know the saying, "Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result." This applies to dysfunctional families, dysfunctional relationships, and toxic relationships. They can literally make us do crazy things. And the dynamics are so complicated and confusing that it is difficult to figure out how to change our reactions. Remembering simple relationship tips is helpful. One of th...

Dysfunctional families have lots of friction and disagreement that isn't easy to navigate. There are a myriad of problems. One of those is when you don't like your child's partner. There are many reasons that it might be that way. Yet, how you react to this situation is similar regardless of the reasons. There are things you can do that will damage your relationship and cause more relationship pro...

Dysfunctional families have lots of relationship problems. One of the big ones is when your wife doesn't like your family. Whether it is one or both of your parents, your siblings, or anyone else, it causes a huge amount of stress and subsequent landmines you have to navigate as a husband.  Not only is your wife unhappy, you know your family isn't happy. You are in the middle and need help to navi...

In your abusive relationships, is power over you an illusion? I know it doesn't seem like it is. The abuser exerts control, and it feels impossible to challenge it. You feel stuck, victimized, confused, and powerless. It takes a lot of work to be able to stand up against verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and any other abuse controllers use. One of those things you can begin to do to f...

Holidays are painful for people who are going through grief, loss, dysfunctional relationships, and painful memories among many other things. Listen to this video to get ideas on how to deal with holiday triggers.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTub...

Self care for the holidays is essential for everyone but critical for anyone dealing with dysfunctional family dynamics. Watch this video for some practical ideas.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/2fHR1tqiteE

Healing from sexual betrayal is a complex process that involves navigating the six stages of grief. Betrayal trauma recovery is necessary when trust has been violated by someone who should have been faithful and trustworthy. It is necessary to heal from all types of infidelity: emotional and sexual affairs, sexual addiction, prostitution, and any other sexual acting out. The betrayal involves many...

Toxic relationships are full of complex dynamics, unresolved problems, and painful feelings. We react to all those things by trying to fix, control, and change people. Even when it doesn't make sense to hang on, we do. We don't realize that the only choice we have is to let go or be dragged. Whether it is love, guilt, trauma bonding, codependency, or fear, we keep trying to make things right even...

Bobbie Tea describes an unbelievable lifetime of abuse starting at two years of age. Her story is living proof that abuse victims continue to pick abusers until they get strong enough to say, "No more!" In Bobbie's case, her abuse history included a pervasive family history of sexual molestation that strongly suggests there is a spiritual generational component.   According to the U.S. Department...

Shame-based people react to anything you say that criticizes them or threatens to expose their weaknesses. They also do other dysfunctional things that range anywhere from codependency to addiction to abuse and more. Watch this video to get more understanding about why shame-based people do what they do and also learn how to respond to them.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Faceboo...

Christian codependency can affect whether you are a healthy or a codependent caregiver. When you need to care for someone in your life, it is never easy. Whether it is caring for an elder parent, a mentally ill or disabled child, or a chronically sick spouse, you will need to be intentional about the boundaries you set. It is hard to figure out how to take care of yourself when the demands are ove...

Holidays are difficult for people who have dysfunctional families. They are also painful for people with loss and bad memories. While you cannot change the circumstances, one of the things you can do is to change your expectations. Watch this video to see how this simple change can make a big difference. #changeexpectations #holidayemotions #dysfunctionalfamilies   Website: https://www.changemyrel...

Sex in your dysfunctional, painful, toxic marriage is impacted by the problems. Sexual dissatisfaction is high when you have anger, hurt, and rejection and many unresolved problems. You don't feel like being intimate with a person who causes you pain and doesn't care. Christian marriage advice often tells you to have more sex because your body belongs to your husband. Yet, doing that only makes yo...

In Christian codependency, we believe we are doing the right thing to stay in toxic relationships, whether with our spouse, partner, friend, or family. We believe we are supposed to sacrifice, give, tolerate, overlook, and forgive. Two become one in marriage. The church is our family. We honor our parents. We respect our elders. These along with the dynamics in toxic relationships, often result in...

Trying to convince people of your truth can lead you to talk too much, push too hard, over-react, and waste your time and energy. You might be surprised to know that it isn't your job to convince them.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://y...

The last straw in the relationship is the thing that appears to cause it to end. It leaves people questioning themselves and rehearsing things over and over to figure out how it could have gone differently. The truth is that it isn't really the cause. It is usually something else. Find out what it is. #finalstraw #dysfunctionalrelationship    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook...

Should you tell your church about your relationship problems? This is an important decision because many church pastors, elders, leaders, and members don't understand toxic relationships, complicated, dysfunctional relationship problems, and emotional abuse.  They may not believe that Christians should have boundaries, and you may end up suffering double abuse, where you are discounted and invalid...

People manipulate you by creating fear in you. Knowing what you are afraid of shows them ways to get you to do what they want. Watch this video to learn how you can refuse to be manipulated by fear.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://yout...

Raising children in dysfunctional families is difficult because you know they are being impacted by the chaos. You can't make everything okay for them, but you can help them. One of the things you can do is to teach your children to detach from the dysfunction. Detaching with love is a coping skill to help them avoid taking things personally. If you use it, you know how powerful it is. Watch this...

In toxic relationships, when people show you who they are, you need to believe them. But, we often don't. We give them the benefit of the doubt again and again. We believe their lies by gaslighting ourselves. And, we doubt that they could really be that bad. This gets us in all kinds of stressful dysfunctional relationship dynamics because they haven't changed, are who they are, and don't care how...

Heather was married to a sexually addicted gay man for twenty-four years before she divorced him. Listen to her story to discover how denial, gaslighting, rationalizing, and magical thinking can lead us to believe a lie when we could see the truth.  Sexual addiction destroys intimacy and trust. It is even more challenging to come to terms with the fact that your husband is attracted to men, and ye...

Reciprocal relationships are healthy relationships that are balanced. Unhealthy relationships are not reciprocal and not balanced. All of our relationships should be reciprocal regardless of which one it is. Some people have all unhealthy relationships and some have only one or two unhealthy relationships. Learn what you need to do to make all your relationships reciprocal.     Website: https://ww...