Change My Relationship

Is the Bible all you need for your life and relationships? The majority of Christians and pastors would answer, "Absolutely." It is taught in sermons and Sunday School and is the message of songs sung over many years. It almost seems heretical to ask it.  Yet, it matters because misunderstandings about this issue can cause confusion and pain in people's lives, especially when they are searching fo...

What is the difference between a boundary and a wall? Watch this video to think about the differences and when you might want to consider one vs the other.     Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and c...

Emotional intelligence includes understanding that emotions can be primary or secondary. Recognizing this will help you to be less emotionally reactive in your relationships. Many in dysfunctional, toxic relationships struggle with identifying what causes their emotional reactivity, especially when past triggers contribute and intensify the responses.  The more you understand about your emotions,...

Rachel shares the crazy cycle of hope and despair she experienced in her painful seventeen-year marriage to a narcissistic, abusive husband. With raw emotions and heartfelt concern for other women and men in abusive relationships, she explains why it took her this long to do what finally convinced him to change.  While there is no guarantee that your spouse can and will change, there is hope if yo...

What can you do when your family won't talk about what needs to be talked about? Dysfunctional families don't want to address issues. Here are your options.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/F2Vrq3JWMyg

There are four types of controllers who attempt to control you. You need to know who they are and what they do so you can refuse to allow their controlling to work. Watch this video to see what they are.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https:/...

Do you find yourself stuck in a rut, unable to move forward after a difficult life change or loss? It could be retirement, death of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of a relationship, a family split, an unexpected life turn or even an empty nest.  It takes time to navigates a grief journey, seasons of life changes, and loss, but sometimes it takes longer to adjust than you want. If this describes...

Christians believe that God wants them to put their spouses first before their children. This is especially true when women believe that they need to submit to their husbands. Watch this video to find out when the children need to put first.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally...

If you have trouble asking for help when you need it, watch this video. You need to learn that it is good for you to admit you can't do everything by yourself.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/RO66snUOCzQ

Do you find yourself frequently feeling resentful about what other people did or make you do? Resentment isn't a fun feeling and it can interfere with your enjoyment of life. Watch this video on how not to be resentful.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on...

Have you been receiving Christian marriage and relationship advice from counselors, pastors, family, and friends that you are fifty percent responsible for your part in the relationship problems? Have you been told just to give 100% of everything you can and let God deal with the other person? Or maybe that it takes two to fight? Or even if your spouse doesn’t do their part that you have to do you...

It's not easy to admit wrongdoing when it is pointed out to you. The natural reaction is to rationalize your actions. It matters how you react because it affects your relationships with everyone, including God. It may seem like an unimportant issue, but it isn't. You know how frustrated and exasperated you feel when someone refuses to take responsibility and instead uses blame-shifting. Watch this...

If you are in a dysfunctional relationship, you are probably focused on the other person's life and not on your own. You may be trying to rescue and fix, because if you don't, nothing for you will change. This may have been going on for so long that you don't even remember what it was like to feel carefree enough to focus on yourself. The problem is that if you don't pay attention to yourself, you...

Manipulative setups by manipulators are purposeful acts that force you into a dilemma that is then exploited to get what the manipulator wants.     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/5RgUFicVFYo

There is an epidemic of parental estrangement, but what are the causes? Your adult child refuses to have anything to do with you and doesn't let you see your grandchild. This is in spite of all the things you have done for your child and all the sacrifices you have made. You don't know the reason is and you can't get an answer. You are devastated. But you are also confused. How could this be happe...

There are many reasons that it is difficult to divorce an abuser, but one of the most important is concern over how the children will be impacted. The fear can be enough to prevent abuse victims from taking the steps to move forward. It is for this reason that Tawni Carney and Karla Downing share personal and professional experience from their ministry with domestic abuse survivors on how to prote...

Dysfunctional and toxic relationships have many relationship problems that go unresolved indefinitely. When evaluating how to resolve conflict, you need to consider whether there is a possibility of relationship healing, given the ability of both parties to discuss the issues. Many times, one person wants to resolve them, and the other does not. One person can listen to and understand the other, a...

Emotional manipulators make promises and give you gifts to get you to do what they want. You need to recognize when these promises and gifts are being used to get you to give in to the manipulators demands.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: http...

It is difficult to have a family member with mental illness. There are some basic principles you can follow that will help you increase the chance of improved mental health. There are also things you can do that will make it worse. You need to know what to do and not do. You care about your family member with mental illness, but you also have to care about yourself and the rest of the family. Ever...

Tawni shares her story of survival in an abusive marriage and her healing journey after her decision to divorce. She and Karla discuss how the Church gets it wrong by responding to abuse victims in a way that often causes more pain. They identify common phrases that, sometimes unknowingly, twist Bible verses and lead to misunderstandings the right way to respond. The hidden message is often one th...

In dysfunctional families, people do a lot of things that are unhealthy and destructive. Watching them causes anxiety because of the harm they can do to themselves, you, others, and the relationship. The obsession with changing them can be all-consuming if left unchecked. It can even make you physically and emotionally sick. The solution is to manage anxiety over others' choices. There are things...

Getting mentally ill people to medicate is a frustrating experience. Yet, they have to in order to get better and be more independent. Watch this video to look at the real-life options you have. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/L...

Unfortunately, the stigma of mental illness in the church still exists in various ways. People hold misconceptions about the cause and treatment, which makes it harder for those struggling with mental health. Some of these misconceptions can cause actual harm because they prevent people from speaking up and from getting the treatment they need.  It is important to understand scriptural truth about...

Have you ever felt lost in conversations where resolution seems out of reach? Have you wondered why every attempt you make to explain is met with roadblocks that leave you even more frustrated? If so, you might be encountering what Annette Oltmans of The Mend Project calls "The Maze of Confusion."  The Maze of Confusion is a strategy used by emotional abusers to derail genuine communication. By we...

If you are a Christian in a dysfunctional, toxic marriage, you are desperate for Christian marriage advice. When you see marriage books or conferences by Christian authors and speakers, you are willing to buy the books and attend the conferences. You try to apply their ideas, even if your spouse isn't.   There is only one problem: not everyone who offers you advice understands what you are going t...