Change My Relationship

Dealing with angry people is difficult. You either respond with anger or with fear. Instead, you can learn how to detach from anger to change your relationships.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, a...

The dysfunctional family dynamics were caused by my toxic marriage.  My husband insisted nothing was wrong except my reaction, so he refused to look at his behavior. I tried everything to get him to change: praying, nagging, lecturing, therapy (for me), adjusting, pleasing, and more. Nothing worked and the harder I tried, the more out of control I became. I was the one the neighbors heard yelling....

Difficult people cause crises that you think you have to fix. The healthier thing to do is to detach and let them deal with the consequences by themselves.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and cla...

Avoidant people avoid for different reasons. Understanding the reason why a particular person avoids will increase your empathy and guide your decisions on what to do and what not to do.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice in...

Emotional abusers have many tactics. They include ridicule, name-calling, minimizing, discounting, manipulation, threats, ordering, and withholding. There is another one that isn't typically mentioned, and yet it is equally painful to experience. It is making you irrelevant. Each of us needs to be understood and validated. We also need to belong to groups and to have relationships where we matter....

What does it mean to have a healthy fear of God? Find out in this video that takes a very practical approach to this topic that will dispel unhealthy beliefs you have. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, book...

Dealing with your narcissistic adult children isn't easy. Listen to this video to give you guidelines that help you navigate the landmines.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provid...

Improving your communication skills improves your relationships. You can take a soft communication approach in your toxic, dysfunctional, and healthy relationships, and it will make a huge difference.  In dysfunctional and toxic relationships, there is pent up emotional energy that comes out in all interactions and especially with conflict. Healthy people also react when something triggers defensi...

Karla Downing offers a vulnerable and honest evaluation of her parenting regrets, looking back from a place of change. With the hindsight that often comes after life moves on, she shares valuable insights that will help mothers and fathers raising minor children, as well as those whose children are grown. Her experience of being angry with her children offers lessons on the parenting mistakes you...

Most of us live with a significant amount of unfinished relationship business. We get busy. We procrastinate when something feels stressful. We have priorities that don't reflect our values. The problem is that we pay a price for not dealing with important issues that should be addressed. The worst possibility is that something happens to the person, and the opportunity to say or do something you...

If you have difficult people in your life, you want them to change. Watch this video to find out what you can do to maximize that possibility.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that pro...

People who have learned helplessness display specific characteristics. To overcome it, there are specific things you need to do. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical s...

Difficult relationships are complicated because the dynamics are confusing and frustrating. While there are various causes of the dysfunction, there are common things that you should do and not do. Watch this video on the dos and don'ts for people in difficult relationships so you won't make your life even harder.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free fr...

Do you wonder when it is time to move closer to a relationship problem and when to avoid it? Many people avoid dealing with issues for numerous reasons. Others confront everything aggressively. Neither of those approaches is healthy or good. When a problem is long-standing, and both people are avoiding bringing it up, should you? There is often anxiety over issues that are lingering, and it affect...

Do you have prickly people in your life? If you do, then you need some help in dealing with them so they don't ruin your life. Watch this video to get the help you need. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, bo...

There are many myths and misunderstandings surrounding forgiveness.  One of those involves scriptural truths and the consequences of sin. God's forgiveness wipes away our trespasses and the judgment we deserve. The conclusion might be that when we forgive people, we also have to let go of any consequences of their actions. But would this be correct? It matters how you answer because it impacts the...

Zack Collie experienced a life-changing traumatic injury as a teen that presented him with the opportunity to either persevere or give up. Zack chose the first option, and as a result, he has a message that resonates with those who are facing difficult life challenges. Whether it is a traumatic injury, a debilitating illness, a painful and difficult relationship, the loss of a marriage, the loss o...

Don't complain, blame or explain. These things keep you from moving forward and taking responsibility for yourself. Find out why. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical...

When comparing toxic relationships vs. healthy relationships, there are many differences. Boundaries are handled differently. Reciprocity is one-way in one and two-way in the other. One has mutual understanding; the other doesn't. Only one has mutual goodwill and cooperation.  Another difference is how ruptures and repairs are handled. All relationships have conflict and disagreements. All relatio...

Caregiver burnout is common for people who are caring for another person. Watch this video to learn how to recognize it and how to care for yourself along with the other person. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes mess...

Parenting struggling teens is one of the most difficult and challenging seasons of life, and it is no surprise that it is correlated with decreased marital satisfaction. Problems with teens become problems in the family, and according to Brandon Joffe, licensed clinical social worker and founder of Inspired Resolutions Counseling, solutions need to involve the family.     In this interview, Brando...

Have you struggled with setting boundaries with the marijuana smokers in your life?  Do you wonder if it should be okay with you when it is not okay with you? The increase in the use of pot is related to its legalization in many states. With that comes its normalization. Many now believe that is less harmful than alcohol. It isn't easy to tells someone that you don't approve of its use when they c...

Dealing with slobs is problematic. You can't make them neat and you can't live with the mess. Watch this video to learn what you can do.     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/q8PY2wbyYes

One of the things we do in difficult relationship is use all or nothing thinking. This means when we see someone do things that are bad, we see the person as bad. When we see the person do things that are good, we see the person as good. This confuses us when we think that we have it figured out. It is better to think a different way.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: http...

Don and Alexandra (Alex) Flecky were married in 1980 and quickly discovered that baggage from their families of origin showed up in their relationship. They, like many other couples, found that their love for each other was hijacked by their reactionary interpretation of each other's communication.   Their personal experience figuring out how to change their own communication patterns, along with...