Change My Relationship

Do you have a right to privacy in your marriage or inside your parents' home? Is keeping passwords a healthy boundary or a major red flag? Managing privacy, trust, and transparency in relationships can be a delicate balancing act. In this episode of Change My Relationship, licensed marriage and family therapist and author Karla Downing addresses the complex topic of privacy rights in intimate, fam...

Is loyalty always a virtue, or can it sometimes hold you back? In this episode of Change My Relationship, we explore the complex dynamic of loyalty—from its role as a honorable trait in friendships, marriages, and faith to the hidden dangers of being "loyal to a fault." We dive into how adult children of dysfunctional families and those struggling with codependency often stay in harmful, toxic, or...

Many Christians hold misunderstandings about scriptural truths that result in making unhealthy choices in their relationships, especially the dysfunctional ones. Because they care about obeying God, they are looking for verses to apply and are often black and white in the way they apply them. They also tend to apply a few verses rather than take the whole Bible into consideration.  One of those is...

Are you a Christian navigating your personal faith crisis when nothing you believed works? Are you walking through the dark night of the soul, where God is distant, faith is weak, expectations are unmet, and emotions are dark? Does life seem meaningless, and are you questioning everything you previously believed? There are typically six stages, which are explained in this video, along with how and...

Difficult people play games. They do all kinds of things to get their way and to control what you do. You can respond in a way that helps you to stand up for yourself and not being controlled. Learn what that is. #DifficultPeople #ToxicRelationships #Gaslighting #RelationshipAdvice #Boundaries #ChristianRelationships #ChangeMyRelationship Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, a...

Manipulators, abusers, and narcissists all use tactics of fear, obligation, and guilt. Fear causes you to give in to avoid the threat. Obligation causes you to give in because you are supposed to. And guilt makes you give in because you feel you're wrong if you don't.  These make up the acronym "FOG" because they cause confusion, making it difficult to see what is being done to you. They also make...

Ever feel completely drained after talking to someone who always sees the glass as half-empty? Whether it’s a spouse who counters every conversation with something negative, a perpetually pessimistic friend, or someone struggling with clinical depression, living or working around constant negativity can take a major toll on your well-being. In this episode of Change My Relationship, licensed marri...

Are Christians required to lay down all their rights and allow others to walk over them? For decades, popular church teaching suggested that followers of Christ should never demand respect, express hurt, or set boundaries. But misinterpreting biblical self-sacrifice can lead to deep emotional harm, resentment, and dynamics filled with contempt. In this episode of Change My Relationship, licensed m...

You need support if you are caregiving for your elderly parents. One of the most important things is to understand how to set boundaries, whether you are in a healthy or dysfunctional family. Otherwise, it can be overwhelming and exhausting, especially when you are still caring for your children and managing your life's responsibilities.  It isn't easy to set boundaries when the needs and demands...

In this interview, Judi Noble talks about her own physically and verbally abusive marriage during the 1960s. She compares how the church and society responded to abuse victims in the sixties with today, looking at whether there has been progress. Judi relays the story about how God led her to found Eagle's Wings Ministry and how her ex-husband, Jim, her prior abuser, ended up sharing her passion f...

Do you have any neat freaks in your life? If you do, you know that they can drive your crazy with their perfectionist demands. Watch this video to get some ideas of how to deal with them in a way that works.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian r...

If you've been in unhealthy relationships, you've probably wondered why some people can't self-evaluate. They won't own what they've done. They won't listen to your concerns. They don't care if you are upset or hurt. This lack of self-awareness is not only frustrating but perplexing to healthy people, because when you are willing to look at yourself, you can't figure out why others aren't. Underst...

Confronting difficult people requires wisdom. Watch this video to learn how to plan your strategy to confront the difficult people in your life. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that pro...

It is important that as a Christian you understand scriptural truths. One of these is the teaching around the question: "Has God promised you won't get more than you can bear?" You share your burdens with a fellow Christian, pastor, or ministry leader, and you are told, "God won't give you more than you can bear." You know what they mean because you have heard it before. So what you tell yourself...

Journaling is helpful when you need clarity on a relationship problem, a boundary you need to set, on who is to blame, on the dynamics, and more. Watch this video to learn how to journal to get clarity on what is going on and what you should do next in your difficult relationships. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunder...

If you have a difficult daughter-in-law, you are desperate to fix things so you have a better relationship with your son and grandchildren. This video gives you realistic ideas to navigate this touchy relationship. #daughter-in-law #dysfunctionalrelationship #narcissist #grandchildren #grandchild   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationsh...

All-or-nothing thinking causes problems in your life and relationships whether it is your or someone else's. It is just one of many cognitive distortions that is pervasive in dysfunctional relationships in families where communication skills and conflict resolution skills are generally lacking.  This video gives you examples of this black-and-white thinking and alternative ways to communicate. It...

I, Karla Downing, am frequently asked why I stayed in my dysfunctional, toxic marriage. The answer is complex and multi-layered, as it is for anyone who has been in a difficult marriage.  This honest, heartfelt exposé on why I have stayed will help you analyze why you have stayed and can even help you understand why you finally left. If you are a Christian in a difficult marriage, you will recogni...

Healthy friendship has specific components. Evaluate your friendships by learning what they are.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube:  https://youtu.be/RvS-9Iazvo8

Your narcissistic child doesn't consider your feelings, needs, boundaries, or opinions. There is no empathy or compassion for you no matter how badly you are treated. Find out why your narcissistic child doesn't care about your pain.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch...

Going home to your dysfunctional family can be different when you change yourself. You can't force them to change or to understand the dynamics. They will likely continue to do what they always have, but your responses can be different.    There are some important things you can do to gain a new perspective. You don't have to engage in the same interactions you have had in the past. You don't have...

Abusive relationships have cycles. Things get better, then they escalate, and then they get bad. This crazy-making pattern adds to the confusion and self-doubt that is part of emotional, verbal, physical, spiritual, and other types of abuse. The more you know about what is going on, the more you can be empowered to take care of yourself. The abuser has power over you by getting you to question you...

Did you know that there are five conflict resolution strategies? Even if the difficult person isn't willing to learn them, you should. Having multiple options you can present will increase the chance you can come to a mutually agreeable solution.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelati...

You're doing everything you can to hold onto your relationship with a spouse, partner, child, parent, sibling, or friend, even though it's unhealthy and toxic.  You try to force change through nagging, lecturing, praying, appeasing, controlling, or enabling, yet nothing changes.  What if I told you that what you fear most might be the very thing that could bring about the change you desperately wa...

Self-fulfilling prophecies are predictions that cause themselves to become true due to the behavior they generate. They affect your life and relationships in more ways than you realize. The common perception is that they come to pass whether you want them to or not.  It is important to consider how self-fulfilling prophecies are impacting your life. Once you do that, you can make simple changes to...