Can't Hardly Watch

This week we discuss the forgotten Sci-fi kids flick, Star Kid about a bitch-ass tween who stumbles upon an alien cybersuit with the biggiest dumbie you've ever seen and complains about having to go pee for half the runtime. 

Happy Labor Day! This week we look back on some of the big movies that came out this year.

This week we discuss Communion, the forgotten "horror" film starring Christopher Walken about a writer who gets anal probed by dancing aliens.

This week we are coming.... to talk to you about one of Tony B's all time favs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze!

This week we want room service! We want the club sandwich! We want cold beer! We want $10,000-a-night hookers! We're talkin Johnny Mnemonic, the 90s cyberpunk flop starring Keanu Reeves featuring a hacker dolphin and effects that would even make the creaters of ReBoot cringe!

This week we discuss Orca, the Jaws rip off that left producer Dino De Laurentiis wondering "Why! Why nobody like my whale!?!"

Happy Shark Week! This week the third dimension is terror as we discuss Jaws 3-D! 

This week we discuss Tiptoes, the infamous indie drama which sees Gary Oldman portraying a little person by walking around on his knees.

This week we discuss the adaptaion of Alan Moore's The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (or LXG if you're fuckin cool), an Avengers-esque team up of literary characters that will make you feel a refreshing draft in your nether regions.

This week we revist the first (and last) installment of the Dark Universe, the Mummy starring Tom Cruise!

In honor of the upcoming Dial of Destiny we decided to revist Indy's last adventure, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. If you love honey boys, aliens (ahem extradimensional beings), nuclear refrigerator escapes, and monkey business then grab your whip and fedora because you are in for a treat!

This week grab some Frito pies because we're dicussing the 2011 remake of the 80s classic, Footloose that is sexier than socks on a rooster!

This week our low self esteem is at an all time high as we look back on Michael Bay's 2009 sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. If you love incoherent CGI action, gratuitous shots of the military, dogs humping, robots humping, robot scrotums, and John Turturro's bare ass cheeks then HONEY BOY you are in for a treat! And remember the Matrix of Leadership isn't found it's earned!

This week we discuss The Book of Henry, Colin Trevorrow's bizzare drama-thriller that was so bad it lost him the Star Wars Episode IX gig. 

This week we celebrate Memorial Day with another Stallone classic, Rambo: First Blood Part II. If Rambo's speach at the end doesn't give you a patriotic boner then surely the Frank Stallone song will!

This week we discuss the David Arquette flop, Ready to Rumble- the film that contributed to the downfall of the WCW. 

This week in preperation for Fast X we look back at the sophmore slump of the Fast Saga, 2 Fast 2 Furious. Why did they replace Vin Diesel with Tyrese? Drop it. I don't wanna talk about it. Drop it? Hell I wanna hear about this homie. I said forget about it cuh!

Dear David Bowie... This week we discuss the forgotten high school comedy-drama, Bandslam about a pretentious twerp who becomes a band manager and thinks he has more clever insight into music than he really does. For some reason Vanessa Hudgens has romantic feelings for him?!

This week we discuss the notorious George Lucas produced flop, Howard the Duck about a singer who really wants to fuck an alien duck who accidentally gets brought to Earth. If you love duck puns and beastiality, this is the movie for you!

This week we discuss Fame, the cringe remake of the 1980 cult classic that feels like an ABC family original movie. Staring Paul Iacono from The Hard Times of RJ Berger.

This week we discuss our first film in the 0% Rotten Tomatoes club, Staing Alive- the infamous sequel to Saturday Night Fever directed by Sylvester Satllone. 

This week we have the time of our lives as we discuss Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, the forgotten prequel/reimagining (?) of Dirty Dancing.

Since Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves just came out, we thought it would be "fun" to revist the original Dungeons & Dragons film from 2000. We weren't suprised by the dated CGI and Jeremy Irons' insane performance but were shocked by how much it ripped off The Phantom Menace. Who doesn't love lengthy senete debates and racial stereotypes in their epic fantasy adventure fim?

This week we return to the Leprechaun saga with Leprechaun in the Hood. In this terrifying installment, Lep tries the ganja, taps ass and becomes a rapper! Starring Ice-T of Law & Order SVU!

This week we celebrate St. Patrick's Day by discussing the original Leprechaun film- a "frightening" tale of a murderous creature who terrorizes a family to retrieve his gold only to do nothing with it other than count and rub it. Seriously why not spend it on a fuckin visit to the orthadontist and dermatologist?