Can't Hardly Watch

Do you love The Real World? Have you ever wanted to pay money to see a longer epsiode with only slightly more nudity and cursing? Well you're in luck because this week we discuss The Real Cancun featuring performances from Snoop Dog and everyone's favorite early 2000s pop punk band, Simple Plan!

This week we go nipple to nipple as we watch the classic 1989 film, Road House starring the late, great Patrick Swayze!

Our two part extravaganza concludes with Lara Croft: Tomb Raider- The Cradle of Life, a film that features the second best shark riding scene next only to Deep Blue Sea!

This week we discuss one of the most early 00s action movies ever, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider starring tabloid queen and all time hottie, Angelina Jolie. 

Hope you're ready to get your heart broken because this week we discuss the 3D remake of the 1981 cult classic, My Bloody Valentine that's hella pussy!

This week, in preparation for the ucomping Netflix series, we discuss M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender which features his most shocking twist yet- taking a beloved anime and shitting all over it!

This week we welcome back Can't Hardly Watch icon, Christopher Walken as we discuss an adaptaion of a Disney World ride everyone was just DYING for- The Country Bears.

This week we discuss John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars, featuring charisma vacum Ice Cube and the hot chick from Species as they battle Juggalos on Mars!

Grab a Suck-My-Cock-bucks because this week we're discussing Get a Job, the forgotten star studded turd made by Hollywood people who don't know how real jobs or human resources work. Did we mention someone chugs horse semen!?

This week we hope you're ready for something itty bitty baby because we're talking about Joe's Apartment, a film that poses the question- Do Cockroaches find us sexy?

This week we discuss our ultimate childhood guilty pleasure and HBO hall of famer, House Arrest starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Pollak, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and renowed sex symbol Wallace Shawn!

Happy New Year! This week we close the book on 2023 by discussing some more new movies we saw that we thought were worth mentioning. 

Merry Christmas! This week we discuss Deck the Halls starring Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick. What my seem like a light hearted family comedy about rival neighbors is really a dark exploration of addiction, narcissism, and sexuality. 

This week we discuss the remake of the remake of Black Christmas!

This week we discuss the remake of the classic 1974 slasher film, Black Christmas- a movie with a plethora of wierd decisions and questions including what is Yao's ball sack a reference to?

What's that smell? Doo... doo... dookie! Dookie? No its just the forgotten Hulk Hogan vanity project, No Holds Barred!

This week we're having FREE FUCKIN' PIZZA! We discuss Eli Roth's Knock Knock, a film which addresses heavy topics such as sexism and infidelity and poses the question- Can a cock answer an IPhone?

This week we discuss Men, Women & Children, Jason Reitman's forgotten weird, perverted internet panic drama.

Trick or treat motha fucka! This week we discuss Halloween: Resurrection which features an all star cast that includes Busta Rhymes, Tyra Banks, and the guy from Americn Pie that jizzed in Stiffler's beer. Also we get a special appearance by Sean Patrick Thomas!

This week we welcome back our queen, Shannon Elizabeth to the pod. We discuss Thir13en Ghosts which plays more like a Commercial for Razor Scooters than a spooky horror movie.

This week we have a wiccan good time talking about the "ambitious" meta sequel to The Blair Witch Project- Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 which at no point even mentions the titualar book. 

This week we celebrate our 50th episode with the The Poughkeepsie Tapes- the ulitimate "one for us" whose trailer we saw all the time when we worked at the movie theater only for it to never come out. Was it because it was too extreame or because it just sucked? One things for sure, we never expected 9/11 to be a major plot point!

This week in preparation for David Gordan Green's The Exorcist: Believer we look back on John Borman's batshit sequel, Excorcist II: The Heretic. This time around Pazuzu is back and he's brought with him a swarm of locusts. There's also this weird Inception-esque dream machine and Reagan can now heal people of autism!?!? And there's TWO Reagans! We think?

This week we discuss the obscure, wannabe John Hughes family comedy, Big Girls Don't Cry... They Get Even starring one of the sisters from Home Alone. You won't be prepared for where this one goes.

This week we discuss one of the greatest superheo films of all time- The Flash starring America's sweetheart, Ezra Miller!