Botched: A D&D Podcast

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Wait, is this another shopping episode? Well, kind of. The group is mostly shopping for a large fat cat. This is all preparation to take down a local roc. The catcow has to be small enough to fit in a large cart…the one that used to have the lasso gun they just had built. Then they have to pull that fat cat up the mountain to entice that roc. However, it seem...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The argument could be made that this group of characters is the most evil set of characters the show has ever had. And we’ve had groups with demons and serial killers! The group now has a home of their own, and Clancy is now in charge of an entire town’s finances. However, Clancy has his own ideas as far as where these finances should be going. Mainly to him....

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! We now have a new party! That’s our first ever party wipe. I’m shocked it’s taken this long to be honest. The new party may be even crazier than the first one. We have a pirate, a bird person (definitely corporate skeksis), Woody Allen turtle accountant, and someone who worships the random. Having been raised from the dead, the group feels it’s time to stretc...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Turns out that dragging sound was a helmed horror! Not the easiest of foes considering half the party is banged up, and they are with subpar gear. There is also the matter of this strange bedroom. A bed with a skeleton on it. A ritual circle. Fresh flowers and candles. Not to mention this strange humming coming from the armoire. Maybe the party should have ta...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! A Mimic! Funny enough, we have never had a true mimic before! That being said, having monsters pop up while the party doesn’t have any weapons or armor may prove difficult. Not to help matters, but the party members seem to have little devilish tattooed hands moving towards their throat very slowly. What happens if they meet? Will they die?!? Ah crap, a ticki...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Now that the group has finally made it to the bottom of the cliffs, some faster than others, now what? Unfortunately, the whole reason they broke into prison in the first place was Callam Etie, who is now dead. Not to mention Ned has been rendered unconscious and is missing a hand. That being said, the group is stranded on the rocks, a vertical rock wall on o...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Special guest gone, so no more Mr. Nice DM! Just kidding, the group can’t get out of their own way. This episode is really only over the span of hundreds of feet. The issue is that it’s straight down. This episode is a fight for survival and how to not plummet to a rocky grave. They just need to hit the ocean. If only someone told them how to do that in a pre...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! We are joined by a special guest: Adal Rifai from the Hello From The Magic Tavern podcast! He is playing quite the culinary mastermind, albeit of prison food. However, he USED to be a big time chef on the outside. Since the group is not the stealthiest when discussing plans, a little psychopathic chef overhears the plan and wants to be part of it. However, no...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! So H.E.C.K. used to be an elf? This information must have come as quite a surprise to them! However, one thing we don’t know is if H.E.C.K. will decide to take the offer of becoming a guard. They certainly act like they want to be one. Will it be a double cross? Or a triple cross? Only time will tell. Also, someone else who knows Ned also claims to be from th...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Well, they were told to make an example of some inmates and they certainly did that. In a very odd murderous way. Wet willies? Not a death people will soon forget. This stunt has earned the group a stay in the hot boxes. For those of you not familiar, this is a small steel box that they lock you in. In the midday sun, these get incredibly hot. It’s basically...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The crew is now in prison. Unfortunately for them, there don’t seem to be any friendly faces. It also doesn’t seem to be the most fair of places. Shocking development. However, they were given a list of instructions by Wild Bill. As long as they follow those to a T, then there’s probably a minimal chance they’ll make it out alive, but at least there’s a chanc...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Time for the crew to go to prison for all the terrible things they have done. Finally, we have some justice! Just kidding. They’re going on their own accord because they want to break in, to break a dwarf out. Granted, only one person in history has ever broken out of Yuma. The trip to prison itself is exactly what you’d expect. A bunch of sassy people saying...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group actually saved someone?! A whole town no less! Now that they’re free of the mountain, where do they head next? Well, the gunsmith’s brother is in prison, so that seems like a good spot to start. There are some mythical creatures lurking about that could be useful for creating magical weapons, but they may not be strong enough for that yet. However,...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group sure likes to experiment. They made a metal feather, and got Ned burned. But, they also created some fire babies that do the bidding of Willie. A chilling thought. They’ve been sent to the cave in, as a last ditch effort to save themselves, I mean the city. Meanwhile, Willie, Ned, and Bessie Mae must stick around the forge. Which allows them more ti...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! In a rare show of compassion, the group decided to save a city from a small group of bandits. They decided the best way to do this would be by shooting their dynamite which then caused a rock slide. They managed to get inside safely but now they have to dig their way out before running out of oxygen. Bessie has picked up a job, while H.E.C.K. has found a fan,...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group has yet again caused so much trouble in town that they have to run away before really accomplishing anything. The Botched Method. They decide that maybe they need to tackle some lower hanging fruit in the meantime. They head west towards a small dwarvish town. Upon arriving, it seems to be under siege. The group does what they do best, and interfere...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! We are joined yet again by our special guest Bill! He’s still playing…a horse. Phil (Willie), however, is out physically and in game. The group is split in two. Bessie and Heck are trying to get information on death. They decided the best person to ask is a random priest. Ned on the other hand, has taken Buttercup to Blondie’s hideout. This is in an attempt t...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! We are joined by our super special guest, Bill! This is his first time coming on one of our regular episodes, but he has been present for a patreon episode before! Bill will be playing the part of a horse. Yup. Not exactly a talking horse, but when it stamps its hooves, it can communicate with others telepathically. You don’t want to know what happens when it...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Well it didn’t take very long before their Multi Level Marketing Mulk went horribly awry. When you have a product based scam…you have to have a product! Also, when you do an MLM, maybe picking a town full of criminals is not the greatest idea, especially, if you don’t have the product to give them. That being said, they need to get out of town as fast as poss...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Mulk! The Miracle Cure! So now there’s a large group of people waiting to get in on the ground level of this exciting business venture. Like a pyramid they’ll start on the bottom and slowly make their way up, but less and less of them will have the determination to do so, that’s what it’s a pyramid! No other reasons. Heck is back! She is on board to try to ma...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! They managed to get the giant block of wood out of Ned. Surprisingly, it didn't kill him. Who knew that was even possible? However, now they owe Doc Brown some milk…and advertisements. Here begins the avalanche. First, the milk. Then, the advertisements. Then, it’s Willie beginning to con people about what that milk can do. Willie also heads over to the taver...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Not sure why they are so obsessed with a vault when there’s a giant murder worm nearby, but hey, to each their own. Now the group is confronted with a giant angry worm and nowhere to go. The tail is ready to strike! The group is going to have to be a lot tougher than they look in order to survive. There are also a pair of mountain dwarves running away as fast...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Getting some tremors vibes here. The group is stuck on a big rocky outcropping with what remains of a small town. They managed to narrowly escape the worm to get there in the first place. Now they have to figure out a way to either kill the worm, or get it to go away long enough for everyone to escape. This thing seems seriously pissed off for some reason. It...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group stumbles upon a small town, but can't shake the feeling that not all is right here.  Check out the Kickstarter for the 2nd book in Dennis’ series about the world’s first werewolf. Lycan: Solomon’s Odyssey Chapter 2 . It is running until the 2nd of October. Any and all support would be greatly appreciated! We now have a PO Box! Wanna send us som...

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! It seems the Bovineborn have been having their children snatched up by these weird flying coyotes. Fly-otes if you will. After having dispatched them with only minor injuries, some of the group stays behind to lick their wounds while others move on to investigate. The group discovers a cave, with a few well placed traps. A little advanced for some flying cani...