Best Life Best Death

Dr Matthew Tyler is a palliative doctor and champion via social media for having the hard conversations when necessary. He knows that doctors are doing their best, and some excel at breaking difficult news to patients. But communication skills have to be developed over time and with experience, and every patient is unique in their desire for “That Conversation.” So – you have to train your doctor...

This conversation with Dr Aditi Sethi is a heart-felt discussion of a film, a doctor’s experience of an unusual patient, and the idea that “death has value.” Dr Sethi is the type of palliative care and hospice doctor who brings full presence and full heart to everything she does, and together we reflect on the film, her friendship and doula work with Ethan Sisser, and what it means to die in commu...

Willow End of Life Education and Planning is all about changing the conversation around death and dying to include living . As Reena Lazar says, “All that matters in the end, matters now.” We talk about how the finiteness of life is profoundly motivating; how thinking about the end and working backwards makes a difference in how we live; the impact of a quick love letter exercise; and how conversa...

Caring for someone who is dying takes a different approach, and family members may not always remember that or see that it is no longer time to "seek a cure." Katie Duncan and I discuss some of the challenges that family caregivers face when someone is dying: realizing the time to "fix" is at an end; stepping into a role with little or no training; adjusting to this new role, o...

At some point in your life, caregiving will likely come upon you, if it hasn’t already. As Rosalynn Carter noted, there are only four kinds of people in this world: “Those who have been caregivers; those who are currently caregivers; those who will be caregivers; and those who will need caregivers." What can we put in place to help folks in this role? Katie helps us think through some key que...

Sonya Barsness brings theory and practice together in her work and teaching as a "revisionary" Gerontologist. How can we improve the experience of aging in the 2020s in the US? What would it mean to be more positive in our understanding and actual experience of aging? What do seniors need as they age? What do humans need at any age, and how do we keep it or create it as we grow older? Pe...

Why is this one of my favorite books? How can a book like this have a positive impact on your view of your life *and* your death? What are some pragmatic topics we could benefit from thinking about? What are some of the thoughtful gems from authors BJ Miller, MD and Shoshana Berger? Listen in as I talk about this book and see if you want to add it to your nightstand pile... A Beginner's Guide...

This week: a joint podcast with The Heart of Hospice and host Helen Bauer. This is swift-talking, wide-ranging, longer-than-usual chat! What brought me into end of life work? Why might any of us want a “supported death”? How can end-of-life workers bring an open mind to any death? How can caregivers be held, metaphorically and literally? What can we learn while in a relationship with hospice? How...

Description: This podcast is jampacked with content, including a discussion of advance directives for dementia, Voluntary Stopping of Eating and Drinking, and a deep dive into decision making. In this week’s conversation, Chaplain Hank Dunn suggests a framework for thinking things through, including asking: 1) What’s the goal that you are trying to accomplish? 2) What would the patient want, and w...

When difficult choices arise around healthcare and the nearing end of life, Hank Dunn has some ideas to help us decide what to do. In his book, Hard Choices for Loving People , he suggests that families consider asking themselves and each other: What are we trying to accomplish? What’s the goal? Are we trying to cure? Are we looking to stabilize functioning? Or are we preparing for a comfortable a...

What an honor to chat with three leading doulas and teachers, Diane Button, Gabby Jimenez and Angela Shook. Their new book combines the best of all that they know – over 30 years of experience with death and dying. The Doula Tool Kit: The Complete Practical Guide for End-of-Life Doulas and Caregivers provides “the guidance and tangible tools that people need to actually feel comfortable to sit wit...

Eric Rooney and I talk about what it might mean to have a “greener” mindset about death, and how “natural burial” is not new at all, in the Big Scheme of human existence. We talk about 5 ways we can care for bodies in Colorado: burial (buried traditionally in a casket, embalmed or not); flame cremation (the body is burned at high temperature, returning “ashes” to the family); water cremation (diss...

This week, in honor of Thanksgiving here in the US, I share a brief conversation with Hospice Chaplain Hank Dunn. He reads two moving pieces from his book, Light in the Shadows: Meditations While Living with a Serious Illness, and we talk about “letting go” versus “letting be.” For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at  ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠ Follow us on our...

What’s the latest way to organize your stuff and plan for where it goes when you are gone? Enjoy my conversation with Heather Nickerson, Founder of Artifcts, who explains: “Artifcts is a new web- and app-based technology to help you capture, preserve and share the history, the stories, the meaning and the value behind all your stuff. And also, plan for what you want to do next with it? Sell, donat...

Dementia is disruptive, incredibly so. You can’t get help for what you don’t understand, so this path requires gathering information, pushing for an accurate diagnosis, educating yourself and those around you, and finding new approaches for everyone involved. Kay Adams shares valuable information from her extensive experience as a dementia coach: Why does getting an accurate diagnosis matter? Why...

The Enneagram is a psychological and spiritual map… and a fascinating predictor of what motivates you, drives your responses to others and shows you where your edges are as you learn to be your best self. Who doesn’t want to have insight into themselves and others? Who can tolerate a ‘peek behind the curtain’ of their own blind spots? As I say in our conversation, “I think this is an interesting t...

When Susan Elliott’s mother was at home on hospice, she was cared for by her husband and adult children. These primary caregivers received a great deal of support from hospice, and yet – as Susan says, “There were gaps." Susan’s experience is not unique. In fact, many of us will find ourselves in this exact situation one day. How can we learn more now, in order to set ourselves up for when it...

Ashley Bright asks an incredibly important question: Who can families turn to, in order to get guidance in navigating the complexities of healthcare these days? Geriatric care manager, healthcare/ medical/ patient advocate, health navigator, or social worker – whatever the name, there are professionals who can help with better understanding your journey in the maze of the healthcare system. How do...

Francesca Arnoldy takes us into the Big Picture overview of why conversations about mortality matter. She notes, “We need to remember what it is to be mortal… and what it is to die… and what it is to grieve. We need to learn from one another and hear each other’s stories.” How does an open-minded parent, grandparent or teacher make a difference for a child’s experience of death? What is a legacy?...

Dr. Diana Barnard is one of those doctors you hope to have sitting in a room with you when decisions have to be made. Thoughtful, patient- and family-focused, able and willing to take the time it takes to think things through. She practices in Vermont, one of the first states to amend their laws so that non-residents can choose Medical Aid in Dying in that state. As she notes, “People want to be h...

This world-wide project, called Loose Ends, started in 2022 and “aims to ease grief, create community, and inspire generosity by matching volunteer handwork finishers with projects people have left unfinished due to death or disability.” What do they and their mass of volunteer finishers take on? Knit, crochet, sewing, quilting, tatting, rug-making, embroidery, cross-stitch, weaving… to name just...

It is not often that a film captures some of the most tender moments of a family’s experience and shares the love and lessons from a beloved man at the end of his life. Ondi Timoner didn’t set out to make this film; what she intended was to capture the last days of her father’s life. But when she reviewed the hours of film from those last 15 days, and created a 30-minute compilation to share as a...

Starting with material from her digital workbook called "How to Live with Suicidal Ideations," Cait and I discuss how to move from fear and a focus on “100% prevention” to a more reflective, supportive perspective. Let’s move away from stigma and move towards understanding. Let’s move from silence to conversation! What does “suicidal ideating” mean? What’s the difference between passive...

Hospice Nurse and dynamic educator, Gabby Jimenez shares thoughts from her latest book, “ ⁠Dignity Day: A guidebook for anyone searching for comfort and clarity relative to the end-of-life medications⁠ .” This conversation goes beyond the logistics of MAID to get at the heart of what is happening for terminally ill individuals and their families. Why would someone choose MAID? How do others feel a...

Founder of of the Doulagivers Institute, one of the largest doula training institutes in the US, Suzanne O’Brien RN shares her expertise and opinions about how we approach death and dying. With 98% of the hands-on care at the end of life done by family caregivers, she asks, “What can we do to support them? What do they need? What can we provide to fill in the gaps?" For more information on Be...