Best Life Best Death

This week enjoy the perspectives of two hospice chaplains, Ellie Douglass and Kathy Gambino. What does their job entail? What role do they play on a hospice team? What insights can they offer about when and how to use hospice? And most importantly – how do families benefit from what they bring to the experience of the end of life. As Ellie says, "The word 'chaplain' can be a little bi...

This week I talk with my friend and colleague Aimee Yawnick. She and I are both end-of-life coaches who teach classes and workshops + work with individuals. In this episode, we discuss: how talking about death changes your life; why conversations about mortality matter; how a class can help people grapple with big questions; what it takes to have accountability; what sorts of materials we bring to...

As we age, one of the biggest things we need is social connections! Listen in as social media tutor and trainer Joyce Feustel and I talk about how social media creates connections – with family, friends, past-times, careers, hobbies, and “kindred spirit groups." How can social media platforms help? How do Facebook, Instagram and Linked In differ? What about http://meetup.com? How do we get st...

Emerson Lee shares a view of dementia that broadens how we perceive the loss of cognitive abilities – and thus might shift how we deal with such changes. What if we put less emphasis on mental abilities and found ways to connect, relate and create? What if caregivers understood how to find the “micro delights” for each individual, thus supporting connection and regulation? What if your fears of de...

Hospice Nurse Penny is everywhere on social media with her fast-paced, humorous, informative commentary, through which she offers education about death and dying. As a hospice nurse, Penny sees firsthand the misconceptions about hospice and how – when understood for its what it is and what it is not – “Hospice provides education and support and a team.” On BLBD podcast episode #100, we discuss how...

Jennifer and I talk about this rare treat of the book she created! Intimate, never preachy; concrete but not a self-help book; art-sy but so much more; personal yet applicable to so many. I love this book, in which Jennifer explores the death of her husband and her own survivorship, through the facts and the feelings of the experience. https://www.hospicedrswidow.com/ Find Jennifer on IG For more...

In this Bonus Episode #1, I tell you more about why I interviewed these people, and they each share more about themselves and their work. Hear more from Theresa Brown #62, Barbara Karnes #64, 65, 27 and 28, and Avani Dilger #69. For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at  ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠ Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful r...

Lisa Pahl and Lori LoCicero met when Lori’s husband was dying, in his 40s. Together, they realized they could create a tool to help families and friends start conversations before it was too late. As Lori notes, “Why are we waiting until that [last] moment to talk about it… that’s when we don’t want to talk about it, that’s when it’s hardest to talk.” We need simple tools to get conversations goin...

Carrie is a doula and a sister to a man with disabilities. She wants people to consider how communication, comprehension and pain management are different concerns for the population she specializes in. How can medical teams understand more about their needs? Who speaks for them, if they cannot speak for themselves? What are their issues at the end of life, and how do they differ from the general...

Talking with Cheryl made me more keenly aware of the ripple effect that donations have in the world. Organ, eye and tissue donations are life-saving. We talk about how she got involved with the Donor Alliance, finding donor networks in your region, how science and medicine are constantly working to improve outcomes, and what is helpful for donors and recipients to know. Learn more at: https://www....

Let's delve into financial matters with expert Shane Phillips! As Shane says, “The genesis of my work is seeing that most people are not prepared.” We discuss how he got into this work and the broad categories of paperwork that we all manage, no matter how simple or complex our financial situation, including personal documents, asset documents, legal and tax papers, and liabilities. What are t...

Yvonne Caputo felt compelled to write about her experiences with her father and family. She wrote "Flying with Dad: A Daughter. A Father. And the Hidden Gifts in His Stories from World War II" plus her second book, "Dying With Dad: Tough Talks for Easier Endings." In her work in retirement homes and as a psychotherapist, Yvonne knew that it mattered to have conversations about...

Working with a severe stutter in the field of communication, Sharon Emery faced huge challenges daily. Finding love, raising children, creating satisfying work – all of these laid the ground for losses and grief yet to come. Sharon’s approach to “limits” and “being happy anyway” can show us all what human resilience is about. As she says, “Limits don’t define our lives so much as empower us to sha...

Every state has a process to donate your whole body to science when you die. This week I talk to Kate Serr, organizer of this program for the state of Colorado and parts of Wyoming. Why do people decide to donate their body to science? What does that mean? How do you apply for this and what kind of deaths are accepted? An important take-away from this conversation: whatever your choice for what to...

This episode I talk with two doulas, Gabby Jimenez and Claudia Peñate. Both of them: work with individuals and families; offer guidance, support and education; are available before, during and after the experience; and bring expertise to common yet not-widely-known human events! They are similar but different, as one woman works with birth and the other works with death! How are these "booken...

This week’s BLBD conversation covers embalming and reconstruction with Funeral Director and specialist Monica Torres. What is it? Who wants it? Why is it important for families? What makes it an art and a science? With cremation on the rise, is embalming still a thing? And how does Monica approach this very personal work? This conversation may even give you a new understanding and appreciation for...

Dr Stefanie Green is a Canadian physician with a whole lot of experience and information to share about MAID. What is Medical Assistance in Dying in Canada? What feelings does Dr Green hear most commonly from patients? What is the hardest part of the work she has been doing since 2016? What is patient-centered care and why does it matter? What are the three things this physician would like you to...

Hospice Nurse Julie delves into the details of dying, so that we can all learn more ahead of time and be better prepared when someone we love is at the end of their life. “I know, as a hospice nurse who’s used to seeing a body dying, that this is very normal: their face is going to look different; their eyes are often open, not blinking; they are not making eye contact; mouths are usually open, as...

So many people are struggling with grief, burnout, caregiving, and more. The idea behind Help Texts is to get expert support directly into people's hands - literally, in their hands, by appearing on their phone via text a few times a week. How does Help Texts work? What does it cost? Why would I want this for myself or a friend or family member? And - does it really help?? As founder Emma Payn...

"Jack Has a Plan" is a 73-minute personal documentary which follows the story of a man diagnosed with a brain tumor. Director Bradley Berman says, “This is first and foremost a story. It is not an advocacy film for any particular outcome. It is just a story of Jack Tuller and what happened to him.” Yet this story is filled with so much to consider! Bradley and I discuss: How did this fil...

Jade and I were on such a roll when we recorded our podcast that, well, we just kept going! Part 1 is about death literacy, books we love, literature, how to find books that get you into these themes, and why reading about the end of life matters. (Hint: It influences our thinking in subtle but profound ways.) In Part 2, we talk about the role of doulas, the experience of hospice, what caregivers...

Jade Adgate and I both love to read and we love to read books that expose us to new angles of death, dying, loss and grief. Sounds miserable, eh? But it’s honestly not. Through reading, we clarify our own thinking and values around these hugely human issues. Whatever you are reading, you can watch for these themes, and you can make it a point to read on hard topics long before you or a loved one n...

As a specialist in selling the many and varied items in an estate after someone has died, Louis Clough has some thoughts to share about stuff. How does the 80/20 rule apply to the material value of things in an estate? When should you sell vs keep something? How can sellers make sense of the options they have? Why is it important to think about our stuff now? Listen in, as Louis and I are about to...

In her work as an end of-life practitioner, Rhea Mader finds herself in the deep end of the pool when it comes to conversations! Sometimes she simply brings the words dying and death into the room and that can make a difference. Sometimes she holds space for really big topics, such as "what meaning came from my life?" End of life doulas can add vocabulary, an objective presence, and the...

Dr Ira Byock - leader in palliative care, advocate for patients, and author - joins me this week. We discuss: What might it mean to “die well”? Why is the nature of serious illness more personal than medical? What  are the “four things that matter most”? What does “forgiveness” mean? How do the phrases he writes about in The Four Things that Matter Most apply to any of us, at any time in our lives...