Best Life Best Death

Jake Messier says it like it is! As a man diagnosed with breast cancer, he’s decided to shape what that means and how that is perceived, for himself and for all the people out there who don’t know that this is a thing. With breast cancer for women deeply researched and heavily funded, Jake is a voice for males who have this disease. An advocate, activist, board member, and influencer – Jake is mak...

My guest this week found a creative niche reading obituaries online, and this has turned out to be informative, moving, funny, and insightful! It is truly story telling at its finest and most concise. Enjoy Part 2, in which Mary and I explore three more unique obituaries and have a sneak peek of her upcoming book. Thank you, Mary, for all that you bring to the wider discussion of what it means to...

Who would have thought that reading obituaries on social media could be so informative, moving, funny, and insightful?? Mary McGreevy tried it and found a solid audience. First, she shared obits she had collected over time. Now, devoted fans from all over send her the most extraordinary stories of everyday lives. Enjoy Part 1, in which Mary and I explore how she found her way to this project, the...

What does it mean to be “too poor to die”? Author and researcher Amy Shea took a deep dive into how poverty affects the end of life. What happens when you die with no money and no family to collect the remains? What are the trajectories that lead someone to be buried in a potter’s field, aka county burial grounds? How are people in the unhoused population cared for at the end of life? Are there an...

I so appreciate the wisdom and writing of Francis Weller. His book The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief has been a touchstone for me, and now this book offers more perspective on grief, aging, sorrow, and “times of uncertainty.” Listen this week as I read Chapter 4 from In the Absence of the Ordinary: Soul Work for Times of Uncertainty. For more information on B...

Have you ever wondered what a “death doula” does? Doulas offer compassion, guidance, and information to help people better understand their options around the end of life. This week, I talk with Vanessa Johnston, an active doula in Colorado, as she shares “a day in the life of a doula.” How do people find her? At what point do they typically reach out? Why do supportive colleagues matter so much?...

Gail Rubin, author of several books and articles, talks with me about her latest book, 98.6 Mortality Movies to See Before You Die: Remarkable Films and TV Shows to Discuss Death and Plan Ahead . Been looking for some summer movie ideas? This book by the Doyenne of Death and this BLBD episode has you covered! For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at  ⁠⁠www.bestlifeb...

When Mark Burkholder’s wife, Paige, was diagnosed with a very rare, very aggressive form of cancer, what did they do? They dug in, pushed hard, and faced the truth. They knew very quickly that this cancer had a 5-year survival rate of 0%, so they leaned into treatment and living deeply as best they could. After Paige died, Mark began posting videos online about the experience, using photos and vid...

Join me and end-of-life doula and author Jane Callahan as we talk about meaningful endings. As she explains, “Because medicine has always been predicated on the idea of fixing, saving, and caring, we began to treat death that way – morphing society's view of death into primarily a medical and physical event, instead of a personal, spiritual, mental, and community-centered experience.” Jane’s n...

In this episode, I talk with longtime funeral professional Bob Arrington. We explore body disposition, funerals, celebrations of life, cremation, and more. What does it mean to “pre-plan,” and why does it matter? How do practices around caring for the dead vary across regions and over time? As Bob says, “We take the time to educate—and the most important time to do that is ahead of time.” Tune in...

One of my favorites episodes is with Susan Elliott, End of Life Coach and Doula. Susan talks candidly about her mother’s death, and about all that hospice had to offer… but also what was missing. After her mother’s death, Susan became a doula, and felt that there was so much that could have been added to the experience, for her, for her mother, and for all their family and community. What’s missin...

This week – more about Medical Aid in Dying. The advocacy organization called End of Life Options Colorado and Dr Barbara Morris are all about education and access, for patients, families and physicians. If someone gets a sudden and terrible diagnosis, how can families quickly learn more? When is someone like Dr Barbara Morris called in? What role does End of Life Options Colorado play? The bottom...

Everyone I meet has questions about Medical Aid in Dying. What is it? Where is it legal? Who chooses this and why? What are the requirements for eligibility? Join me and Dr Barbara Morris to learn more, bust some myths, and come away with a better understanding of what this end of life option is and what it isn’t. Time to get curious! For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our w...

This week, I’m again joined by Janet Booth, MA, RN and Trish Rux, RN to talk about their book Dying Matters: 8 Conversations That Can Change Your Life . In this episode, we explore the second half of the book, looking at what’s “behind the paperwork.” As Jan says, “The paperwork might lay down the law, but what’s the spirit behind that law?” Given that most Americans have not completed their advan...

What if you found a book that would truly lay the groundwork for why conversations about the end of life matter so much? What if this book could jumpstart conversations with family, friends, and your community? What if it even had a Discussion Guide in the back, filled with ideas? This episode with Janet Booth, MA, RN and Trish Rux, RN explores the first four chapters of their new book Dying Matte...

One of my most listened-to episodes, with Hospice Nurse Julie. Tune in to hear Julie, in her characteristic practical and charismatic way, describe what really happens when we die. Key to know: we rarely die like we do in the movies. Instead, the body shuts down gradually. In this classic BLBD episode, this experienced hospice nurse walks us through what that process actually looks like. My hope i...

Beverly Thorn knows dementia firsthand, and her book Before I Lose My Own Mind: Navigating Life as a Dementia Caregiver is an empowering, realistic guide for caregivers, friends, spouses, and anyone who will be touched by dementia. And guess what, folks? That’s pretty much all of us. Estimates that focus specifically on Alzheimer’s dementia (the most prevalent form of dementia) put the number at a...

How do we talk about aging in a way that actually helps us live better? In this episode of Best Life Best Death , we zoom out. Way out. Jacob Kendall and I look at aging not just as a personal experience, but as a cultural story and a national issue. What happens when we’re willing to widen the lens? Can thinking about the Big Picture get us talking more at our kitchen tables, as well as finding w...

What is grief, really? And how do we actually work with it? In this conversation, Krista St-Germain offers a clear and humane definition: Grief is the natural human response to a perceived loss. From there, we explore how the goal isn’t to “get to the end” of grief; the goal is to integrate the loss into your life. We talk about the “dual process model” of grief, and how healing isn’t linear, but...

Krista St-Germain knows the experience of grief, deeply. As a widow and coach, she is an expert at discussing this complex feeling. In this episode, we have a conversation about her life, her husband’s death, what it means to feel feelings, and the spiral of post-traumatic growth. She notes,“Every return to familiar emotions is an opportunity to meet them from a new level of capacity.” What does t...

Rosanne Corcoran knows caregiving from the inside. When her mother moved in with vascular dementia, Rosanne became her primary caregiver for years, navigating the daily realities, emotional toll, and quiet endurance that so often go unseen. Today, she channels that lived experience into advocacy as a support-circle leader and podcast host with Daughterhood, a community built to reduce isolation an...

This episode explores the small-yet-potentially-vast world of funeral photography. When everyone we love is gathered in one place, often for the last time, what might it mean to have photographs of that moment? Is it comforting? Intrusive? Sacred? I’m joined by Nell Arbuto, founder of Minnesota Funeral Photography, who works in this niche field. Nell shares her why and her how: how she approaches...

In my view, Michelle Lapierre was fortunate: she and her mother talked openly about end-of-life choices well before those conversations became necessary. And when her mother did become terminally ill, she was clear about her choice: to use Medical Aid in Dying, which has been legal in Colorado since 2017. What led them to have such clarity? What was the experience like? How does Michelle feel abou...

Giving Up the Ghost is a memoir about traumatic loss, identity, and the slow work of letting go, not just of people, but of the versions of ourselves we thought we would be. In this episode, I talk with author Samantha Rose about the transformations that accompanied the loss of her mother to su!c!de. Samantha shares insights from her lived experience, including what kind of support made a differen...

Marni Blank is an “after-loss professional.” What does that mean? Imagine someone with a legal background, lived experience of loss, a steady head for details, and the ability to step in and quarterback the team when someone in your life has died. That’s what an after-loss professional can be. I find this work both fascinating and profoundly useful. Tune in this week to hear what Marni has to say...