Best Life Best Death

My guest this week will nudge you to think about what you’ve already taken care of – and what’s still unfinished – when it comes to end-of-life planning. Marni Blank and I dive into some of the most fascinating (and often avoided) questions: What gets in the way of getting things done? What superstitions keep us from filling out the paperwork? Does talking about death somehow invite it in? (Spoile...

From her early experiences as a young birth doula, through medical school, into working in oncology and hospice, this doctor has seen beauty and denial go hand-in-hand. Realizing that many of us die from diseases created by choices in how we live, she now offers a primary care practice focused on support for better, healthier longevity. What does it mean to age well? How might we get the support w...

Join me in conversation with a dynamic woman in her nineties who founded a writing group with friends that is now a sustaining source of inspiration and shared connection. We know that social connection is key to staying engaged as we age, and Mary reflects on what she’s learned about why it matters. As she says so beautifully, “another element of flexibility reveals itself as we age – one that en...

This week’s BLBD podcast brings something a little different: it's story time! Listen this week to hear a few of my favorite sections and ideas from this beautiful book by Lisa Smartt, Words at the Threshold: What We Say as We're Nearing Death . As a linguist, she became interested in what people said as they neared the end of life – and not only the words, but the patterns and commonaliti...

Are you ready for some real talk about what may be missing in your healthcare experience? Dr. Bob Uslander highlights the “gaps in care” we rarely name — gaps in planning, knowledge, understanding treatment options, and navigating care needs, including hospice. How does poor coordination in our healthcare system limit communication and leave crucial choices, like VSED (Voluntarily Stopping Eating...

This week, Dr. Uslander and I dive into the often-overlooked transition from hospital to home. How can that shift go more smoothly? What does it really take to understand a discharge summary? And how can families prepare for a period that is so often confusing, rushed, and chaotic? Unfortunately, the current U.S. medical system seems primarily designed to prioritize profit, increase efficiency, an...

Starting in her twenties—and quickly shaped by an experience of profound love and loss—Lauren Carroll has devoted her life to the funeral profession and the wider end-of-life field. In guiding people through loss and grief, she’s found that creativity can offer the action we instinctively seek. Whether you set up an altar, create a collage, connect with nature, make space to remember, dance, shout...

Here with the holiday of Thanksgiving in the US in 2025, join us for a chat about Rhea’s experience as a Chaplain, and the idea of finding a bit of slower “turtle time” when we need it. Rhea leads us in a guided meditation in which we can rest, welcome all of ourselves, and let it allll jussst beeee. She guides us to make friends with the breath as we gently relax and follow her voice. Whether you...

More from author, cancer survivor and psychospiritual specialist David Maginley! Building on our conversation from last week, David and I continue to explore the impact of Medical Assistance in Dying in Canada. As he says, “This goes far beyond the hospital bed and goes to the heart of our culture.” I would agree – MAiD is huge topic for our time. I certainly don’t have answers, but wow did I enjo...

Ready for a deep dive? You can’t get much deeper than asking: What is the purpose of death? This episode is about Medical Assistance in Dying, yes, but that is only the avenue in for a next-level discussion. What are the psycho-spiritual dynamics around death? What does it mean that the ego dissolves? How does consciousness expand at the end of life? As a Chaplain, cancer survivor, and someone who...

This episode is chock-full of important information about a topic that affects so many. What is dementia? What symptoms might it include? Why does it matter to test for dementia? What is a “dementia advance directive”? What are the needs of caregivers? How can support groups help? Jessica Empeño is the National Director of Clinical Engagement & Education for the nonprofit organization called C...

Do you believe in the paranormal, the mysterious, the supernatural, the extra-ordinary? Whether you are a believer or not, I think you’ll enjoy this week’s extended BLBD episode with storyteller Orion Couling. Get ready for a ghost story, a wondrous story, and ruminations about architecture, culture, and history – not to mention a spontaneous reading of a monologue from Midnight Mass about what ha...

One of Barbara Karnes’ recent publications is a booklet on food at the end of life. She believes that more education is needed in this area, as families often worry when people who are nearing the end of life from disease or frailty lose interest in food. Barbara gently educates that food is “the gas that we put in our car to make it go.” And when the car is no longer working, it no longer needs g...

Ahh, denial. We all have it at times. How does denial play a role at the end of life? As BK says, “We’re a death-denying society, and we carry this denial inside on a level that I don’t know that we’re even aware of.” Combine that denial with the fact that caring for someone at the end of life is different than caring for someone who’s going to get better. Where can we find healing when the body c...

When Atul Gawande - surgeon, physician, son of a surgeon -  wrote Being Mortal in 2014, I wonder if he knew what staying power it would have. This timeless book captures many of the challenges we face in the US and other countries around aging, decline, disease, the medical system, and yes, ultimately death. Listen to this episode to hear a few compelling passages from the book about the importanc...

Tracy Chalmers has written a guidebook we can all lean on. Rooted in five principles of care, she offers practical ways to walk alongside the dying, build a web of support as a caregiver, and navigate the inevitable storms of an end-of-life journey. The Nature of the Journey: A Trail Guide for Companioning Your Person on the End-of-Life Journey is a resource you’ll return to again and again. What...

Talking with Jennifer and Karen brings BLBD back to basics, in the best sort of way. They share several “If Nothing Else” ideas. That is, “If I am not ready for big action steps, what little things can I do today to get myself better prepared for my inevitable end?” Death Doulas and Educators with The Heartwood Collective, these two women run courses for individuals, families and corporations call...

What does a deck of cards have to do with end-of-life education? Tools like The Dementia Deck , The Death Deck , and the EOL (End-of-Life) Deck offer easy-to-use, casual, and even uplifting ways to start meaningful conversations. Asking simple questions can help us understand our needs and wishes more clearly: “What does a good day look like for me?” “What brings me comfort in stressful situations...

In this episode, I sit down for a conversation with the producers of a documentary film called A Butterfly Has Been Released. The website sums it up beautifully: “With unfiltered honesty, authenticity, and humor, Allyson invites her family, friends and hospice coworkers into her dying experience. As time runs short, her community gathers to celebrate her life with a ‘living funeral,’ which Allyson...

Maria Popova is a Bulgarian-born writer, curator, and critic best known as the creator of The Marginalian (formerly Brain Pickings ), a long-running online publication exploring art, science, philosophy, and the human condition. What a treat to talk with her on this episode about birthdays, mortality, meaning, “un-selfing,” nature, daily practice, and the big questions that lie in the substrate of...

Join me on BLBD this week, for a gorgeous conversation with Diane Button. Author of several books, Diane’s latest is with Maria Shriver’s imprint, The Open Field, an imprint of Penguin Life. With this work, she turns towards the stories and wisdom of her clients and shares just what the title says: What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us about Living. We share some of the experiences in the...

Jody Gelb has written a deeply moving memoir about the life and loss of her daughter. Brain damaged at birth, life with Lueza is as complex as you imagine it to be. Jody captures and condenses details of her experience through the years, and ultimately puts them together into what she calls a micro memoir. Wondering if these short chapters were “right,” Jody says, “At some point I thought, Can it...

This week’s podcast is especially close to my heart. In the spring of 2025, my family said goodbye to our beloved 16-year-old dog, Kaya. Sarah and I explore the many complex decisions that arise around the death of our cherished animal companions. With her years of experience and compassionate perspective, Sarah and I talk through the importance of acknowledging pet loss and holding the both/and ....

Director Scott Kirschenbaum joins me to discuss the powerful documentary, The Last Ecstatic Days , and the transformative journey of making this film. Drawn by a long-standing connection to Dr. Aditi Sethi and the story of Ethan Sisser, Scott traveled from California to North Carolina to document Ethan’s final days. The result is a deeply moving, life-affirming film that honors Ethan’s wish to sha...

To sum up this episode, I’d say: listen to learn all about Death Cafés from a seasoned facilitator! How does it work? Who attends? What sorts of things are discussed? And how can I find one near me? Pull up a chair at this conversation about Death Cafés – where talking about the end is just the beginning of a really lively conversation.