Best Life Best Death

After her husband of 19 years died suddenly of Leukemia at the age of 48, Kim Shute experienced first-hand that the death of a young partner “stopped people in their tracks.” Friends and family showed up as best everyone could, but it launched Kim on an unexpected path into working in the field of grief, through leading groups, presenting in her community, and creating a series of Pocket Grief boo...

Perhaps you’ve heard of Death Cafes or Death over Dinner… what about Death over Drafts? Grab a brew and listen to this episode in which you’ll hear from founder – and craft beer lover – Stefanie Elkins. What is a Death over Drafts event like to attend? What is the Death Deck and how does it tie in to this kind of program? What’s the purpose of these casual events, and who might attend? I love anyt...

As Author Susan Lieberman concludes in this BLBD conversation: “Old is not terrible, it’s just old.” Listen to this episode for some light thoughts and some deep wisdom about aging, death, loss, and especially – how to be where we are. Susan has several books including In the Country of Old: Nine Reflections from a New Immigrant to the Country of Old and also Death, Dying and Dessert: Reflections...

Jennifer Carroll shares tips and thoughts on how to bring an obituary to life. What are the personal touches that take it beyond a short, basic announcement? How do you capture details that illustrate the character of the person and their passions and quirks? How do we find the “extraordinary moments of ordinary lives”? Jennifer recommends that we “start early, enjoy the process, gather voices and...

I think it is fair to say that Mark Dowie’s latest book is unlike any other he’s written. Brief and intensely personal, Mark writes about his experience with Judith Tannenbaum, poet and friend-of-a-friend who suffers from a debilitating yet often invisible illness with severe pain. Mark becomes a guide, dear friend and “amateur doula” for her as they share conversations and thoughts as she lives h...

I’m pulling from the “old files” for this one! I spoke with Kim Mooney on BLBD podcast #71 and #72 and with Kayla Nagano on #74, and with this episode you can hear more from each of them! Kim = renowned thanatologist plus huge advocate for compassionate end-of-life options in Colorado and beyond. Kayla = podcaster and expert in all things animals and end of life. Enjoy this episode of "bonus...

I believe that this podcast offers a topic you might not have considered – and it very much has to do with life and death. “Drowning deaths are on the rise in the United States, following decades of decline, according to a new CDC Vital Signs study . Over 4,500 people died due to drowning each year from 2020–2022, 500 more per year compared to 2019.” Many of these drownings could be prevented – no...

Nancy Simmers served as the death doula for Kate Christie’s mother when she chose VSED (Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking) to hasten her death. How did Nancy’s path take her from working as a birth doula to becoming a death doula? How did her expertise grow over the years? How does she support the individual and the family in a VSED situation? What are the three typical parts of a death by...

Kate Christie and her family went through the experience of VSED when her mother chose to “voluntarily stop eating and drinking.” This choice to hasten death is not to be undertaken lightly, but it is a true choice that is legal and available to anyone. How does it work? Why would someone choose this? What was the experience like for Kate, her father, and her mother? Learn about her experience as...

In this episode we explore the rich, complex topic of grief. Claire Bidwell Smith’s beautiful book Conscious Grieving: A Transformative Approach to Healing from Loss shares an easily accessible road map for anyone willing to be curious about what grief has to offer. Who is on such a journey with their grief? Well, that just happens to be all of us. Hopeful, pragmatic and inspirational, the brief c...

Writer, teacher, artist, filmmaker, and death doula Darnell Lamont Walker is all about the stories we live and share. What truly matters as we spend time and create stories with those we love? Darnell's wide-ranging experience as a “rambling man” give him an original perspective on what matters as we live and as we die. This is one of those conversations that I’m having a hard time summarizing...

When Kera’s mom died unexpectedly at age 57, just a few days after Kera had just had a baby, the duality of grieving and mothering dropped her to her knees. Out of this grief and in the year that followed, Kera found resilience in the stories of so many others dealing with loss. While still a full-time high school teacher, she launched a magazine called Get Griefy, packed with stories that move an...

How do we support individuals to do death better? #1 Realize that the medical system isn’t set up to address the gaps for the dying and their families. #2 Identify for you and yours: what are the gaps we are going to have, and what might possibly fill them? #3 Look into resources ahead of time . The bottom line: We aren’t very prepared and there are gaps we really should know about. Take your head...

The HeartLight Center in Denver, CO is a nonprofit grief center offering in-person and online support to those who are grieving or supporting grievers. Executive Director Jenn Flaum talks with me about how they strive to “adapt, connect, and create what’s meaningful” for all those who come through the door. What are the different things that grievers need? What does a grief group look like? How is...

Several years ago, film Director Johanna Lunn set out to make a movie about death. What she quickly discovered was that there were enormous amounts of material and innumerable possibilities for directions this could take. So she co-founded a website, whenyoudie.org , and ultimately created three films, each one a compilation of interviews with experts, musings by the narrator, and gorgeous views o...

Helen Bauer is one of those people who makes connections and disseminates information in every way she can think of! With 500+ podcast episodes of The Heart of Hospice, and 15+ years as a hospice nurse, Helen is dedicated to helping people answer the questions they have about the end of life – especially when it comes to hospice care. What kind of choices do I have at this stage? What are my optio...

I reached out to artist Claudia Biçen when I learned about an installation she had created some years ago that combined the portraits and words of hospice patients in a striking, intimate way. Our conversation ended up being about that, yes, but we also explore the richness of creativity, impermanence, adaptation, and the making of meaning. As Claudia said, “Life throws you this experience and you...

We have probably all attended funerals that we found meaningful – and services that fell flat. What are the parts that make up a meaningful memorial service? What’s the difference between a funeral and a celebration of life? How does music make a difference? How can an officiate – whether secular or religious – help to hold the experience of the day for all who participate? In these modern times,...

Nothing like talking to an expert in the field to clarify what truly matters! Sue Mackey has been working for more than 15 years to help people prepare for the end of life. We talk about critical pieces of the puzzle, such as: What is a healthcare proxy? Is that the same thing as a durable medical power of attorney? And why are there so many terms that mean the same thing anyway? (Spoiler: There i...

Dr. Qwynn Galloway-Salazar brings her experience as a veteran and spouse of a combat veteran straight into her work as a death doula and educator. She sees the value of a multi-layered approach, believing that: 1) we can best companion veterans who are dying by understanding their unique end-of-life needs; 2) we can better support the caregivers of veterans through education and practical resource...

This week I have a conversation with none other than an old family friend. And while I love talking to the experts out there, there’s something just kinda basic about about chatting with a friend who’s “been through it” with his parents and in-laws. What are the lessons he gleaned? What went well in their family situation? What are the pitfalls he has seen, personally and through his work? We talk...

Amy Nofziger is the Director of Victim Support for the AARP Fraud Watch Network and has nearly two decades of experience in fraud prevention and victim support. Listen to this BLBD episode to get the scoop on scams and fraud. What is it? How does it happen? Could I be a victim? What do I do if I am? As Amy says, “Know the red flags: asking for money or your personal information. End of story.” Wha...

What would it mean to you to “Always go to Ohio”? In this episode, author Jennifer Graham and I ponder the question: why show up?  Whether for a next door neighbor, or for a family member or friend across the country, how do we show up for one another? Jennifer says, “That’s one of the lessons that I’ve taken from all of this: That there’s absolutely nothing you can do that has more value than phy...

In this episode, learn about “wind phones” — what are they, where are they, who is making them, and why? Created to share a continuing relationship with someone who has died, wind phones are in our communities in some surprising places. As Amy Dawson, curator of the website mywindphone.com, says, “The concept of sending messages on the wind isn’t new… It goes back to Greek mythology, and beyond. G...

Allison Applebaum, Ph. D. sees caregiving through both a personal and professional lens, giving her a unique take on the logistics of individual situations as well as the broad view. She talks about the “three buckets of responsibilities” that are common for carepartners; offers ways to create support both internally (think: breathing) and externally (think: build a team of support); and asks two...