Best Life Best Death

This episode delves into a subject that many find deeply uncomfortable: pregnancy loss. Whether through miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, accident, or medical necessity, countless women, their partners, and families carry this profound pain. How can we, as a culture, become more literate and compassionate about pregnancy loss? How do we honor this vulnerability instead of silencing it? Pregnancy...

As Sarah Kerr puts it, “Grief is a feeling; grieving is an action.” This week, I speak with Janelle Ketcher, an artist and archivist who envisioned a unique way to take action in grief and honor those we’ve lost. What is the Postal Service for the Dead? How does it function, and why is it significant? Could this “simple action” offer a powerful way to process our grief? And what is this magical co...

[Note to listeners: Sorry for the not-so-great sound on this one. I had issues.] Erin Whalen has spent years as an actor and acting coach, and she’s now discovered her true calling: Compassionate Coaching. Through improvisational theater with groups of all sizes, she creates space for grief to flow and growth to flourish. But what does that really mean? How did Erin find her way into this unique w...

In this episode, Dr Kaishauna Guidry and I take a look at some myths about hospice, and you’ll hear Dr G’s heart-filled point of view as she busts some of these common misconceptions, including: Hospice is only for the very end of life. All hospices are the same. Hospice is a place you go. It’s expensive and only for the privileged. Calling hospice means giving up hope. Ever heard any of these or...

Dr. James Tulsky is passionate about enhancing communication between clinicians and patients. Why are words so vital in the medical field? What do patients and families need most during critical conversations? And what are the key moments where navigating communication effectively can make all the difference? (Spoiler: delivering difficult diagnoses, discussing changes in care or prognosis, and na...

Some people possess the rare gift of weaving together knowledge from multiple fields, using it to chart new and inspiring directions. Amy Wright Glenn is one of those remarkable individuals. In this conversation, Amy and I talk about birth, breath and death, and about “holding space” for difficult experiences. What does she mean by that phrase? What are threshold experiences in our lives? How migh...

When someone is living with dementia, challenges abound. Join me for a conversation with Ashley Bright and Heather MacLeod, experienced instructors of a course designed to provide a deeper understanding of dementia. They’ll share a practical framework for navigating the journey, along with actionable tips to ease daily life for caregivers and families. How can we learn to “enter their world” rathe...

Cait Maddan’s free downloadable guide called “How to Hold Space for Suicide Talk” is just one key part of all the work that she does. As a doula with a focus on suicide, suicide ideation and the grievers who are left in the wake of a death, Cait does work that matters to us all. Where can we go to talk, in addition to 988 the suicide hotline? Why does it matter to make space for this topic and for...

Terramation, Natural Organic Reduction, Human Composting –  whatever you call it, let’s get down in the dirt to discuss this body disposition option! In this earth-shattering episode, I talk with Mike Reagan about how a Colorado company is taking this innovation in body disposition in a different, yet down-to-earth direction. Mike says, “We want to enable existing funeral homes and crematory opera...

Enjoy this conversation with end-of-life doula Mike Reagan. How can we embrace opportunities to “serve” at the end of life? What does it mean to “show up” when someone is dying? Is it possible to engage with all that death presents us with? Mike shares some meaningful insights and experiences from his service of sitting with people at “the 11th hour” as a hospice volunteer. What if we could respon...

Sarah Kerr joins BLBD again this week, as we share exciting news about a new course we’ve been developing at the Centre for Sacred Deathcare. Launching in 2025, the Sacred Deathcare Guide Training and Certification is designed as a modern “Mystery School for Deathwalkers.” Participants will learn to cooperate with the deep archetypal patterns that shape the process of death and trust their intuiti...

This week’s conversation with Sarah Kerr invites you to broaden your perspective on death, shifting toward a soul-centered understanding. We talk about the role of archetypes: what are they, and why do they matter? In particular, we delve into the Archetype of the Deathwalker. As Sarah notes, “We are creatures of narrative. Everything in our world makes sense to us because we tell ourselves a stor...

If you have the “gift of precious time” in the face of a poor prognosis, here is a way to leave videos that are structured, organized, and developmentally supported for your children of any age. What might they want to know after you are gone? How can your voice continue to offer support and encouragement at transition points in their life? What can you leave behind that might impact their experie...

Rhea Mader and I chat about the mysteries that this time of year brings forth. We start out with some light-hearted remembrances of Halloween costumes, and then we ask each other the famous (perhaps seasonal) question: Do you believe in ghosts? Plus, why do some say there are two separate autumn seasons, and why is it said that “veil is thin” this time of year? Finally, Rhea shares an experience w...

Listening to Dr Matthew Tyler mull over the intricacies of conversations between doctors and patients always gives me hope. How do we figure out when to say yes or no to treatment? How do we create conversations that navigate these waters with honesty and grace? How do doctors break bad news, and how do patients prepare to hear whatever is going to be said? Plus – what’s “the surprise question”? (...

In this conversation with long-time hospice nurse and educator Barbara Karnes, she states: “We’ve lost our role models on what it’s like to die, and we’ve lost our role models on how to take care of someone who is dying.” What does she mean? What are we missing?  What would be the benefit of learning more, for the dying as well as for those who are caregiving and grieving? Barbara shares her think...

This podcast is personal, and I thank Barbara Karnes for her candid sharing of what the first year has been like after the death of her long-time husband, Jack. She reflects on her experience of caregiving and talks openly about what she has learned through this year of grieving. What I see is that Barbara lives her truth: “Because I work in the end of life, I’ve learned this: do and say what you...

Resilient grief, complicated grief, anticipatory grief, disenfranchised grief. These are terms you may or may not be familiar with, but trust me, learning about them will help you and help you understand your friends and family in times of loss and grief. – Which, by the way, is pretty much going on all the time, hand-in-hand with joy and expansion. This human life is filled with grief. Let’s lear...

When Annie Sklaver Orenstein’s brother died, she looked for books that would help her to understand her experience as a surviving sibling. While she encountered a fair number of books about grief, she found nothing that began to touch on her experience – so she set out to write the book she needed. Part personal story, part interviews and surveys  with hundreds of siblings, and part a collection o...

It's all well and good that I keep saying “You should really have conversations about death and dying….” Yet you might be thinking, “What the heck! This is too hard! How am I supposed to even start that conversation?! Please give me some suggestions that can help.” In this episode, I’ll do just that, laying out some ways to think about how to approach this, and even offering up some specific s...

Tarron Estes is no stranger to death. Raised by a mother who sat vigil with the dying, Tarron understood from a young age the power and possibility of liminal spaces. With her mother now 94 years old and living with dementia, Tarron and her siblings grapple with mom's dementia and the complexities of the family system. How do these dynamics affect all involved? What are some resources that off...

Gabby Jimenez – hospice nurse, doula and social media content creator extraordinaire – explores these questions with me. What do the dying take with them? How do we understand and explore regrets? Why so much guilt? What do grievers take away from the experience of losing their loved ones? Eventually, everyone dies – how can we improve this universal experience in simple yet powerful ways, for all...

Gabby changed everything up mid-life after taking care of a friend who was dying. She realized that she wanted to make a difference in people’s lives by becoming a hospice nurse and doula, and learning and sharing all she could about death and dying. Having witnessed and supported more than 2,000 people as they die, Gabby brings true “bedside knowledge” to her presentations, books and this convers...

When you are in that terribly complicated time of making medical decisions around advanced cancer, what framework can you turn to? Oncologists are called upon to treat and offer options; patients hope to gain time if not be cured. What are the choices and the impact of those choices for advanced solid tumor cancers? What if I told you that two doctors have gathered the data to find out whether cer...

This conversation is one of those that is personal and universal. What do you do when your partner dies unexpectedly? What Kim did was delve into that experience and, over time, lean in to help others as they are hit by loss and grief. As she says, “I can be an upbeat, energetic person, and I’ve had this big loss. The content that I’m talking about is grief, and yet I’m enthusiastic about it, so t...