Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

After years of living with a debilitating condition, Rick Watson has learned what it truly means to face fear and find freedom on the other side. In this episode, the holistic coach and gestalt therapist in training opens up about the profound transformation that followed his diagnosis, the trauma of constant uncertainty, and the life-altering decision to undergo brain surgery.   Rick shares how r...

To kick off the new year, Ash sits down with holistic psychologist Laura Corcoran for a soulful and grounded conversation about how to truly create a powerful year ahead. Together, they explore the practice of letting go, not as something you think your way through, but as something you feel, embody, and live. They speak candidly about surrender, emotional release, and the subtle moments where gro...

In part two of this conversation, Gabby opens up about what happened after her first attempt at recovery, when alcohol crept back in and the old patterns she thought she’d left behind began to resurface in new, painful ways. She speaks honestly about the experience of being a “dry drunk,” white-knuckling her way through sobriety without true emotional healing, and how that disconnection eventually...

In this two-part episode, I sit down with my close friend Gabby Williamson to lift the lid on the reality of living life in recovery. In part one of this conversation we talk about how, in her mid thirties, Gabby had everything that was supposed to add up to a good life - an impressive marketing career, a busy social calendar, and a carefully curated image. Behind the scenes, though, she was unrav...

Back by popular demand, this father daughter episode brings the conversation close to home, as Ash sits down with her dad, Rod, to explore what it truly means to grow, heal, and live with intention. Together, they reflect on how energy, consciousness, and the way we choose to see the world can shape the course of a life far more than circumstance ever could. Together, Ash and Rod dive into the pra...

In the heart of New York City, Abby Calabrese was living the dream on paper but the reality was she was quietly unravelling behind the scenes. Long days, late nights, and a culture steeped in drinking turned alcohol into her go-to coping mechanism, even as the cost to her wellbeing grew harder to ignore. In this episode, Abby shares how walking away from alcohol became the catalyst for a complete...

Growing up on the streets of London, Damo H learned at an early age how to outrun pain, but it always caught up. In this candid and moving episode, Damo traces his journey through childhood trauma, the shadow of addiction, and the relentless pursuit of healing. He recounts how alcohol first became his refuge, how physical injury and prescription medication complicated his path, and how new beginni...

In this milestone 150th episode of Behind The Smile, Ash dives into a deeply personal conversation about healing, self perception, and the ever evolving journey of coming home to yourself. She unpacks the relationship between the inner critic, body image, and the way we move through the world, both physically and emotionally. Through honest reflection and lived experience, Ash explores the quiet c...

For Shannon McCabe , hitting rock bottom became the beginning of everything. Once living a life that looked “fine” on the outside yet was quietly ruled by addiction, Shannon, a sober coach and transformation mentor , opens up about the raw truth of her journey through alcohol dependency and the deep healing that followed. In this powerful conversation, Ash and Shannon explore the emotional unravel...

What happens when self-worth becomes the missing piece in healing? In this episode, Ash sits down with Trauma Specialist and Psychotherapist, Jackson Goding, for a raw and thought-provoking conversation about what it really takes to recover, grow, and build authentic connection. Jackson opens up about his own journey through codependency, the reality of doing deep trauma work, and why self-worth s...

One moment changed everything for Rhiannon Tracey, but it didn’t define her spirit. In this heartfelt conversation, the motivational speaker, TEDx presenter, and wellness advocate opens up about the accident that left her with a spinal cord injury and the extraordinary journey that followed. Rhiannon shares how she transformed tragedy into purpose, from the early days of relearning life’s simplest...

After decades on the front line, retired police officer Jay Prothero found himself fighting a different kind of battle—the one inside his own mind. In this raw and powerful conversation, Jay opens up about the toll that years of trauma, high pressure, and suppressed emotion took on his mental health. He shares how anxiety, depression, and PTSD slowly crept in, and how alcohol became his escape fro...

Psychosis is one of the most misunderstood experiences in mental health, often clouded by fear, stigma, and silence. In this powerful episode, Ash sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Julia Nicholls , who courageously shares her personal journey through postnatal depression and psychosis . What makes Julia’s story so extraordinary is not just her vulnerability, but the fact that she’s a mental...

In this episode, Ash sits down with former pro surfer turned mental health trailblazer, Cooper Chapman , for a raw and inspiring conversation about purpose, mindset, and creating real change from the inside out. After years chasing trophies and external success, Cooper realised the waves he truly needed to ride were the ones within. What followed was a powerful shift, one that led him to build The...

In this heartfelt episode, Ash is joined by breathwork facilitator and sober mum, Jo Kinna, for a powerful conversation about rebuilding life after addiction. Jo opens up about the deeply personal journey of repairing her relationship with her children, navigating the pain of divorce, and discovering her true purpose in the middle of life’s most challenging season. Through honesty and vulnerabilit...

In this episode, we’re joined by Nick Jonsson, a global keynote speaker and mental health advocate. Nick shares his inspiring journey from reaching the heights of corporate success to his journey of personal recovery, discussing the challenges of hitting rock bottom and getting sober, along with balancing travel, work, and family life. He opens up about his hidden struggles behind his smile, the i...

In this raw and unfiltered solo episode, Ash opens up about what really happened after returning from a powerful retreat in Bali. She shares the unexpected crash that followed, the darkness she found herself sitting in, and how she’s been navigating waves of depression with honesty and self-compassion. Ash talks about the messy reality of healing, the role of the nervous system in moments of strug...

In this episode, Ash welcomes Justine Youl, who shares her remarkable journey of recovery and transformation after facing an abusive relationship, crippling addiction and debilitating mental health. At the peak of her alcoholism, Justine couldn’t even leave her house. Now, over three and a half years sober, Justine runs a thriving international business from her home in Bali, where she lives with...

In this episode, Ash is joined by Chris Gimpel, a passionate advocate for sobriety and mental health, who shares his courageous journey of overcoming alcohol dependence. Chris speaks candidly about the realities of living with addiction, the pivotal moment that inspired him to seek help, and the ongoing work required to maintain his recovery. The conversation explores the essential role of communi...

In this deeply inspiring episode, Ash sits down with Sarah Viliamu, founder of The Self Love Supply, to explore her extraordinary journey of resilience, healing, and empowerment. From experiencing childhood homelessness and family violence to navigating the heartbreak of recurrent miscarriages, Sarah opens up about the adversity that has shaped her and the tools that have helped her rise above it....

In this episode, Ash is joined by Ryan Bayly, who courageously shares his story of 19 years of sobriety, the mental health battles he has faced, and the isolating experience of living with Sharp Edge Eye Syndrome, a condition doctors struggled to believe. For decades, Ryan hid behind a smile, staying quiet about his pain, carrying the weight of loneliness and misunderstanding. Sobriety became the...

In this inspiring episode, Ash is joined by Elle McBride, a Certified Havening Techniques® Trainer, who opens up about her personal journey through trauma and the healing work that has transformed her life. Elle shares how discovering Havening became a turning point, not only in her own recovery, but in her ability to help others release the emotional weight of their past. Together, Ash and Elle e...

In this heartfelt episode, Ash sits down with her now husband Damian, one week after returning from their surprise elopement and European honeymoon. You guys sent in the questions, and the couple didn’t hold back in answering them. From how they met, to making the decision to elope, what really went down on the wedding day and their favourite memories from the honeymoon, they discuss it all. The c...

In this episode, Ash welcomes back Carlo La Marchesina for an honest conversation about the realities of recovery and the power of emotional resilience. Carlo shares his personal journey, reflecting on the recent challenges he’s faced including grief, loss, and betrayal, and how these experiences have shaped his approach to life and healing. Carlo opens up about the daily routines and non-negotiab...

In this inspiring episode, Ash sits down with Bryce, founder of The Breath Code, to explore a journey marked by adversity, healing, and purpose. Bryce opens up about his early battles with addiction and the lingering shadows of childhood trauma, revealing how these experiences shaped his path and ignited a search for deeper meaning. Through raw honesty and vulnerability, Bryce shares how breathwor...