Becky & Ben's Fertility Spotlight

How do you mentally recover from IVF? For many, it’s a long, gruelling process. 1 in 4 fertility patients experience PTSD. We reflect on how we felt after bringing home our baby, Ida. Her birth was not the end of the story, and we speak openly about the mental challenges we faced. Despite our elation as new parents, an undercurrent of grief, trauma and sadness remained. We discuss how we coped. Sa...

IVF is a serious business, but can humour help? We speak to comedian, actor and writer Kate-Lois Elliott about the comedy of conception. On stage, she tackles it head-on. Privately, her fertility journey is ongoing. We discuss the connecting force of comedy, particularly stand-up. We look for laughs in IVF clinics (dishy doctors and Ben’s sperm collection dilemma included). And we review how TV an...

Some fertility journeys are dramatic, and Rebecca Coxon’s story is a shining example. An IVF triplet, she took a DNA test in her late twenties, discovering she was conceived using a sperm donor. She talks openly about this experience, and its effect on her and her family. We discuss her own attempt at IVF, and how the cycle was abandoned for personal reasons. And we explore her decision to donate...

What role does the breast really play in fertility? We speak to author and surgeon, Dr. Gabriel Weston, about this remarkable organ. We assess its sexual and maternal function, and how the two seem inextricably linked in history and culture. In fertility treatment, the breast is often ignored. But it’s an active participant in the reproductive system, conception and pregnancy. Referencing her accl...

Can music make fertility treatment less stressful? Or more successful? We meet one of the world’s leading music therapists, Dr. Alison Short, associate professor at Western Sydney University. Music can humanise and de-stress, making it a compelling tool for managing anxiety and promoting wellbeing. We discuss how and when music can be used during the fertility process, and the role of music therap...

What really happens in the lab at a fertility clinic? We speak to Suzanne Cawood, one of the UK’s top consultant-embryologists. They work behind the scenes but, as Suzanne explains, embryologists play a crucial role in the IVF process. We talk about the passion and dedication required, and the multi-faceted nature of the job. We go in-depth on the technology, including the embryoscope, genetic tes...

What’s really involved when you freeze your eggs? We speak to Heather, who decided to freeze hers aged 35. Social egg freezing is the fastest growing fertility procedure in the UK. But, as Heather explains, it comes with its own set of mental and physical challenges. We discuss the duality of feeling both lonely and proud, the medical treatment itself, and the supportive role of her friends and fa...

Many women try own-egg IVF in their early 40s. But do the success stats make this a fruitless quest? We speak to Dr. Pavel Otevřel, head doctor at the renowned Reprofit clinic in Brno, Czech Republic. Age and ovarian reserve play their part, he argues, but things get challenging at 44. At that age, donor eggs and embryos hold the power. We discuss the benefits of genetic testing, mild stimulation...

What happens when IVF doesn’t work? Meet Lucy Frank, whose fertility struggles led directly to the break-up of her first marriage. She talks openly about this difficult time in her life and her decision to cease treatment. A life without one’s own children, Lucy argues, should not be a label. Your life can thrive, but the conversation around child-free living needs to change. Ostracization and pre...

What does male infertility feel like? We speak to Ciaran Hannington, whose own fertility battle took him to rock bottom. He talks movingly about his identity crisis, his partner’s support, and the realisation that self-kindness was his route back. We discuss his work as co-founder of NeXYs Fertility, an online resource for men facing fertility issues. A judgement-free space, he argues, is what tru...

We meet counsellor Gemma Antcliffe, who has a special interest in helping fertility patients. She explains the unique challenges of infertility, focussing on its uncertainty and disruptive nature. We discuss our own experience, and the powerful emotions we felt. Gemma talks with empathy about the ‘storm’ many clients face, offering advice on when to seek the help of a fertility counsellor. The bes...

Becky and Ben reflect on the long waits associated with IVF. Fertility treatment can’t be rushed. Finding the resolve to keep going, and lead a normal life, is tough. Trying naturally, the switch to medical treatment, appointment after appointment, the months between each attempt – waiting is one of the biggest burdens for fertility patients. How did we cope? Mindfulness, cocooning, and being kind...

Positive pregnancy test after IVF treatment? Fantastic. Now comes the next challenge – the pregnancy itself. Many fertility patients are in their late 30s or early 40s, and pregnancies in this age group require close care and monitoring. We speak to renowned fetal medicine specialist Ruwan Wimalasundera, senior consultant obstetrician at London’s University College Hospital. We discuss the medical...

What foods should you eat when trying to conceive? We meet functional nutritionist Hayley Paul, who takes a science-based approach to food, drink and dietary planning. We ask if fertility patients really need to eat pineapple to boost their pregnancy chances. We discuss the ‘superfood’ label: beetroot, maca powder and green tea all score highly. And we look at the benefits of full fat dairy produc...

Can you maintain a happy sex life during fertility treatment – and after it? We speak to world-renowned sex therapist Kate Moyle about this tricky dilemma. The disruptive nature of IVF can often affect closeness and Intimacy. But, as Kate points out, not all relationships need sex to thrive and survive. We discuss the different approaches to sexual comfort by couples and singles on their fertility...

Do IVF patients make better parents? We discuss the reality that many fertility patients are, like us, older. Now in our fifties, with two children under 13, we ask if age is a help or a hindrance to good parenting. Positivity and energy are key. Health is a priority. We explore the nature of love, our friendships with fellow parents younger than us, generational ties...

A fascinating chat with Liberty Mills, an integrative health and nutrition coach with a remarkable life story. She conceived her second daughter naturally, at 44, after a range of holistic and lifestyle changes. Liberty talks with honesty and humour about the highs and lows of her life, and how determination and pragmatism saw her through. We explore the small adjustments that could make a big dif...

What exactly are fertility add-ons? And are they safe, effective and worth the money? We speak to fertility specialist, Dr. Tomáš Bagócsi, from Reprofit, which has clinics in the Czech Republic and Slovakia. From embryo glue to PGT-A genetic testing, assisted hatching to time-lapse cameras, Dr. Tomáš summarises the risks and potential benefits of ten of the most popular add-on treatments. We refle...

Can herbs optimise your fertility? We speak to Jodie Foreman, a medical herbalist and reflexologist​ with a keen interest in pregnancy and conception issues. Plants have been used in medicine for centuries. Many countries, including China, embrace holistic approaches to health alongside ​man-made drugs. Jodie talks about the importance of tailored treatments, with an emphasis on car...

Is the womb the finest human organ? And what role does it really play in female identity? In this fascinating episode, we speak to Dr. Gabriel Weston – surgeon, broadcaster, author and mother. She argues that the womb is far more than an anatomical wonder. The stories and humanity behind it transcend its biological function. We discuss its form, its place in our collective imagination, and the pat...

A landmark episode today, featuring 13-year-old Eve – a donor-egg child with a story to tell. Accompanied by her mother, Eve speaks with calmness and clarity about the way she came into the world. The present, not the past, is what drives her. She questions the donor-conceived label; how she was created is far less important to her than her family, friends and current interests. We discuss the emo...

What’s it really like having IVF as a single woman in your 40s? Meet Sarah, now in her fourth year trying to conceive as a solo patient. She talks with honesty and intelligence about her fertility treatments and challenging journey. We discuss her choice of sperm donor, her support network, her contribution to Davina’s McCall’s new book, and the surprising gaps in care and information she received...

Is IVF treatment open to same-sex female couples? In the UK, yes – and, thankfully, in many other countries. We speak to Hannah and Maria, two gay parents who had IVF – with the help of a sperm donor – over a decade ago. Back then, their decision was pioneering. Today, it’s more mainstream. We discuss their decision to have treatment, how they chose their donor, the support of their families, Mari...

Are donated eggs right for you? They were for us, but every patient is different. We launch season 2 with a frank discussion about egg donation. The decision to have it takes time – nobody makes it quickly or lightly. The key issues? Developing a positive mindset, tackling prejudice and entrenched views, trying not to overthink donor matching, and integrating a donor-conceived child into your life...

Welcome to season 2 of the podcast – created by patients, for patients. We’re rethinking IVF, giving you the tools and techniques to get you through. Here’s a taster of what’s coming up. More wonderful guests and pragmatic advice – presented with sensitivity and emotional intelligence by Becky and Ben.                 ...