Bcomingundone

I took an erotic touch class then stayed for the party after. An experience. Pleasant. Eye opening. And concluded, I if were to be a slut I would need to dissect the heart from the body; orgasms from strangers are not a thing for me. I don't even want to desensitize my heart to keep trying to have heartless orgasms. I think I'm too on the spectrum, a heart to heart connection helps me get...

Having a tough time with the autistic portion of my brain. I sometimes would love to have a handler so I can check out for the day. Learned about the fuck zone and how this will affect how I have a need to have a good sexual connection first before I want anything more. I can feel my avoidant side wanting to run. Compartmentalizing, if I am leaning and learning to love and accept my whole self why...

Preparing for dating. Thank you to the new listener that reached out tastefully. Thanking my play person for being so tasty and using instincts to guide and drive. Beginning thoughts on dating.

To add, the term 'body count' is awful to me, I value highly sexual intimacy and sexual acts with another. People to me are not disposable products. Also when I say low value in the audio I want add, doing something so frequently without forethought, mindlessly more out of habit or addiction without conscious awareness is a low value action/activity to me. I have a new podcast I've bee...

Maybe this is the flipped version. Sensing a need for quiet as a new version of me unfolds. Curious in my space I hold self as I experience every emotion. I am observing loss, sadness, heartbreak, loneliness, fear, overwhelm, small, meek, underwhelm, strength, eagerness, hope, faith, excitement, arousal, aloneness; I am not stuck as I move through recognizing and releasing emotions through experie...

Last ketamine session is soon. I needed another hike to get out of my head. The voice in my last session said the hike is where to learn more about myself.

Heard a biology professor give his take why the concept of it being biology men desire younger pussy is false, conditioning and not supportive to women and even toxic to men. As I feel I am desiring a partnership void of settling down to get married but rather to grow from and grow with, I'm seeing some men my age chase young women in their 20's or even younger. I'm curious about my aging and supp...

Better trip. Got very sexual I about had an orgasm!

Rough trip this was. So many negative variables.

Gearing up for 2 more treatments this week, letting flow, not grasping is challenging. I still have from 25 years ago my license plate frame talking about Witchy Woman from the Eagles. I'd some day love to visit Winslow AZ, cause I'm a girl my lord, in flatbed ford slowin down... mixing music and real life- a live soundtrack adds so many colors and layers of vibration. When someone says, "I don't/...

I trust myself being a healthy partner for another. I'm ready to experience another version of myself. Not craving, nor seeking, just open for an experience.

Fearful thoughts crept. Light at the end of the tunnel.

I will use every tool available to me for my personal growth and development. Even more when it comes to mental health- I have been experiencing depression. Severe enough to consider medication again which is not something I want to do as it masks my emotions, I prefer to feel my feelings even the difficult ones. I have 4 more sessions and am super hopeful and excited about these experiences. Than...

A conscious partner. “...spontaneity is a myth, committed sex is premeditated sex, it’s willful, it’s intentional, it’s focus and presence.” Esther Perel“

A man in my group arouses me, just because he shares his internal experience, validates mine and even mirrors. My authentic class I look forward to, to be with my body and be with others' internal experiences. I found myself irritated and overstimulated I only wanted to be with sounds. Jolly fun to hear him say he was thinking of what good words to say after I shared that the sound of his voice wa...

Met someone organically, ended before it began. Rejection doesn't feel good certainly without explanation is worse, not afforded closure. However I am filled with curiosity about this venture of dating after a physical break.

ASMR style a paragraph to enjoy about a favorite part of mine on him... Thanks for being here.

Creating intentional space and time for bodies to express gratitude for the other, no words just natural reactions. Words can be twisted or misconstrued even lose meaning. I love the idea of making an intentional plan, a gratitude date. Gentle guidance following natural reactions giving space for the energy to unfold.

I am not the stories that I am a prude or a tease protecting my parts. Why, as an exhibitionist, is it that I do not share pussy pictures or many revealing pictures. Also, at the end, I have a thought, the religious belief to not worship false idols. What if they, or Jesus, meant to not worship the image of another, a person. Doing so is just projecting self rather than a connective experience. We...

What if my attachment is really to the story of sharing my joy, telling a new partner how much I appreciate them? That I don't really crave a partner it's more the expressing. So I expressed here what I would say to my partner of a few months. This felt like a good release. Then my therapist said, "What if really all this was a conversation needed to be had to you from you?" YES since we all reall...

How I connect and connect through sex. Maybe my spectrum autistic brain has me feel so separate from others, out of touch, I need "our" presence, our awareness of awareness to know you and I are here together in this moment. Or it's just me having an experience, alone. I am understanding my wiring more, to see you and be seen. And it's *slough* (sluff). I was super sick and scared but I made it al...

Beautiful sun and a strong desire to be outdoors, he calls for a hike! Thanks for being here Contact po box 1407 Lake Stevens, Wa 98258

I passionately reacted to a podcast's guest when he said to use humor when a man has lost his erection. I even react to the word 'lost'! Carl Jung, "I'd rather be whole than good." I would like awareness around the subconscious messages we continue to give to our bodies. I even dislike how sometimes 'soft' is used in conjunction with cock. Cock in all phases is wonderful! I momentarily got lost in...

A quickie for the face is a smile! A dbt card for your day and a boundary I'm working on as I recently discovered incongruity can occur between my body and my heart. Now I check in frequently with my heart and body, "Whatcha doin?" Thank you for being here

Dbt card #20. Reading from Dr Sue Morter "108 Ways To Embody Your Magnificence" (and my many times I am tongue tied saying "magnificence"! Thank you for being here :)