Bat Minute

Some Judo lessons here and there - that's how our Babs got these tight skills! It's not THAT hard, come on! Not when you gotta survive those mean streets anyway - it kind of comes naturally then. A little bit of Dick trickery is on the cards today as well, with Barbara wrapping this poor sap around her little finger. Meanwhile, back with the Witch King of Angmar... Joining the investigation today...

Alfred talks of controlling death... but can it truly be defied? Perhaps not. Mentally, spiritually, but perhaps not physically we travel back in time, to the days the young Master. Bruce suddenly realises the truth in Alfred's words - some things must be let go. Hang on though - a blonde lady is on the loose! Returning to take one more suicidal stab at this case, bringing their own brand of justi...

Let the wars... RESUME!

Alfred's latest release is about to drop and there's even a deluxe Kickstarter edition! Ahead of the game, this guy. Bruce waltzes in, towelling down and wants to know if he's pig headed. "YES" confirms our shady queen of a butler. However, what is Batman if not an effort to master the chaos that sweeps our world, an attempt to control death itself? Returning to the case and our super team-up are...

Dick is emasculated and flies into a rage - how dare Batman stop his show-off moment! Bruce thinks his head ain't in the game - it's on the Ivy. Look in the mirror, dude. This isn't a partnership, however... In the meantime, DJ Al hits the decks and... burns a CD? Returning to the team as Special Guest Investigators are only the finest of super sleuths with the highest of DC credentials - it's Mar...

The pints are on me, guv'nor.

It's one giant leap for frozen kind as Victor and the crew get ready to soar through the skies. Well they WOULD be about to, but the goons have lost faith! BELIEVE IN YOUR MASTER, FOOLS! Just as Robin is about to show them all who's boss, The Bat disables the bike and goes for it himself, the show-off! What a narcissist! But did it work? Is Freeze down for the count? Returning to crack this case o...

FREEZE, BROTHER! HAVE A NICE DAY!

We’re back as Freeze and his rejected extras from Mad Max very slowly make their getaway. That’s the price for driving a tank, dude. Things go full Mario Kart and this cool dude is about to jump, jump, jump! Can Robin make it too? Not if Bats has anything to say about it! Returning to the investigation is our very own Fast & Furious racer (and DVD thief) Jonathan Howell! Rounding out our Dojo once...

The best genre of all!

It's called fashion, hunty. ELEGANZA!

Freeze makes his grand (and cool) exit and Ivy seems... intrigued. This is a GOD! There's only eleven minutes left to thaw these party people - get a move on, Gordon! Enough monkey business - it's time for monkey work. Joining the case this week is the impossibly perfect Jonathan Howell! Completing our crane-kicking super team is none other than the master himself, Robin Burdge! The next episode f...

MULCH! That's the threat of the day as Freeze goes on the (verbal) attack! Ivy retaliates with some pheromone blow... but our Vic knows this trick quick. Nabbing the jewels, he exits this cool party and our heroes couldn't look more surprised! THEY LOST! Joining as Special Guest Investigator today is one the Shire's finest folk - it's Norman Mitchell of The Lord of the Rings Minute podcast! He's a...

ARRYYYEUGH! Victor is disarmed by The Bat. When technology fails? Brute force! Robin finally shows us some acrobatics, which is kind of supposed to be his whole deal. Was he the WORST of the Graysons or what? After becoming bizarrely airbone, Freeze and Ivy have a meeting of minds, at last! Or is that Plant Girl? Joining the investigation today is our new (FAKE) combat expert, the ever-duelling Ji...

The auction continues in earnest! A mighty fee for our mighty... tree? That almost worked, shut up. Plant, fine, whatever. Batman decides to take his bidding to the EXTREME and calls on the one tool in his belt that can do this... THE GOTHCARD! FOREVER! Anyway - just chill, everyone! Returning to the investigation one more time are Jonathan and Tabitha Carlisle! These Batman flicks got fencing, fi...

Our hero is entranced once more, but does something else stir within? Is he figuring out the magic of the Ivy? There's no time for that as the green goddess has wild oats to sow and Robin may fit the bill even better than The Bat! Or perhaps Gordon? Trekking onto the scene and joining our investigation is an author of over 70 titles, a master of the stars and WRITER OF THIS MOVIE'S VERY NOVELISATI...

Disasterina is on to you, Hollywood execs!

Well, well, well... what have we here?

You know EXACTLY what we're talking about!

Ivy enters the scene to seduce our heroic team... as well as the rest of the room and the entire damn planet! After ensnaring the Drag Race Pit Crew with her charms and using them as a walkway, Mother Earth's arm sets her sights on The Bat... Taking a crack at the case is podcasting's most disastrous drag queen, artist extraordinaire and a Dragula legend - it's Disasterina! This true queen is read...

The gorilla groove goes on as a leafy goddess is revealed to the world at last - who is this astonishing ape? What are these magical pheromones that turn out dear Robin into a drooling mess?!?!? Here to crack the case is a first-timer here at the Bat Minute HQ - we're joined by a writer and something of an old Hollywood expert in none other than Dr Sabina Stent herself! The next episode follows on...

The best we can do is a gigantic outtake.

I don't think we can even say anything witty or cryptic about this one.

Watch out for that cult!

Bruce has raided the tomb of a house he resides in once more to provide these diamonds that he probably forgot he even had. Thanks ma, thanks pa! He's also willing to endanger hundreds of lives to take this one shot at ensnaring Freeze, including our planty auction ladies. Will it be worth it? We get a sexy gorilla and that's all that matters now! Here to go ape with the capes once more is our Jed...