Bat Minute

The best genre of all!

It's called fashion, hunty. ELEGANZA!

Freeze makes his grand (and cool) exit and Ivy seems... intrigued. This is a GOD! There's only eleven minutes left to thaw these party people - get a move on, Gordon! Enough monkey business - it's time for monkey work. Joining the case this week is the impossibly perfect Jonathan Howell! Completing our crane-kicking super team is none other than the master himself, Robin Burdge! The next episode f...

MULCH! That's the threat of the day as Freeze goes on the (verbal) attack! Ivy retaliates with some pheromone blow... but our Vic knows this trick quick. Nabbing the jewels, he exits this cool party and our heroes couldn't look more surprised! THEY LOST! Joining as Special Guest Investigator today is one the Shire's finest folk - it's Norman Mitchell of The Lord of the Rings Minute podcast! He's a...

ARRYYYEUGH! Victor is disarmed by The Bat. When technology fails? Brute force! Robin finally shows us some acrobatics, which is kind of supposed to be his whole deal. Was he the WORST of the Graysons or what? After becoming bizarrely airbone, Freeze and Ivy have a meeting of minds, at last! Or is that Plant Girl? Joining the investigation today is our new (FAKE) combat expert, the ever-duelling Ji...

The auction continues in earnest! A mighty fee for our mighty... tree? That almost worked, shut up. Plant, fine, whatever. Batman decides to take his bidding to the EXTREME and calls on the one tool in his belt that can do this... THE GOTHCARD! FOREVER! Anyway - just chill, everyone! Returning to the investigation one more time are Jonathan and Tabitha Carlisle! These Batman flicks got fencing, fi...

Our hero is entranced once more, but does something else stir within? Is he figuring out the magic of the Ivy? There's no time for that as the green goddess has wild oats to sow and Robin may fit the bill even better than The Bat! Or perhaps Gordon? Trekking onto the scene and joining our investigation is an author of over 70 titles, a master of the stars and WRITER OF THIS MOVIE'S VERY NOVELISATI...

Disasterina is on to you, Hollywood execs!

Well, well, well... what have we here?

You know EXACTLY what we're talking about!

Ivy enters the scene to seduce our heroic team... as well as the rest of the room and the entire damn planet! After ensnaring the Drag Race Pit Crew with her charms and using them as a walkway, Mother Earth's arm sets her sights on The Bat... Taking a crack at the case is podcasting's most disastrous drag queen, artist extraordinaire and a Dragula legend - it's Disasterina! This true queen is read...

The gorilla groove goes on as a leafy goddess is revealed to the world at last - who is this astonishing ape? What are these magical pheromones that turn out dear Robin into a drooling mess?!?!? Here to crack the case is a first-timer here at the Bat Minute HQ - we're joined by a writer and something of an old Hollywood expert in none other than Dr Sabina Stent herself! The next episode follows on...

The best we can do is a gigantic outtake.

I don't think we can even say anything witty or cryptic about this one.

Watch out for that cult!

Bruce has raided the tomb of a house he resides in once more to provide these diamonds that he probably forgot he even had. Thanks ma, thanks pa! He's also willing to endanger hundreds of lives to take this one shot at ensnaring Freeze, including our planty auction ladies. Will it be worth it? We get a sexy gorilla and that's all that matters now! Here to go ape with the capes once more is our Jed...

Daddy WHO? Barrie, Zaddy.

It's time to go down, down, down... TO THE FUNCTION! THIS IS LEGENDARY! Strike a pose and hit the ballroom floor in your jungle finest. There's nothing finer than those Wayne diamonds, however... in fact, they may be at the heart of all of this. Back at the Bat Ball once more is the Caffine Jedi herself, Stephanie Palacino! She ain't here to get down with the plants and the apes in this green wond...

Very well then, instead of fleeing this town, I'll stay here and grow fat off kickbacks and slush funds.

Don't cut my Kylo.

Seed the World.

Do you even argue, bro (du soleil)?

He's a real Hot One(s).

Freeze may be lost in thought but there's work to do - the Wayne diamonds are now up for grabs! Just don't talk during the movie. Those people are scum... subhuman scum. Still, thanks Mr Goon! This week's returning champion is the one and only Caffine Jedi - it's Stephanie Palacino! She's back in the house once more, Bat Mites! Tired of Drowning in Sunshine, Stephanie has returned to the dark and...

Bruce turns this interaction into a plug for his event, thus proving his fantastic podcasting capabilities. Pamela isn't having it though - after all, the fascists Batman and Robin will be in attendance! WITH THEIR WARM BLOOD! Meanwhile, Freeze is busy having a lovely movie night where he gets to... oh... uhh... remember the woman he's lost. Ouch. Returning to the investigation is everybody's favo...