ask a sub

Are you or a loved one affected by Goodest Girl Syndrome, aka the desire to be the absolute best in comparison to all your partner's other partners past, present & future? Tune in for solace, solidarity, and strategies to tend your tender heart. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby substack h...

This month's Deep Dive was with boudoir photographer and all around artiste Alex Kacha . We discussed self care, the healing gaze of the camera, and of course the kinkiest shoots they've ever done! Deep Dive is a monthly series where I'll bring you deep conversations with luminaries in the kink and alternative sexuality communities, always with the focus of asking them educated, insider questions...

A sub loves the play parties she attends with her Dom, but is struggling with watching him play with his primary partner. Can this cozy polycule find a way forward that honors her boundaries? Alex Kacha Deep Dive Interview - Live Event on 10/24 at 5pm PT To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby s...

Follow KD: Instagram | Website Follow Kink Out: Instagram | Website Get KD's bootblacking starter kit recs here . To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here . Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com Go here for information on how to record a voice memo....

What do you do when a very special dynamic leaves your life? This week a broken-hearted brat wants to know how to move on in the wake of a great love lost.   Join us for our next Deep Dive with photographer Alex Kacha on Tuesday, 10/20 at 5 pacific. Join patreon to attend live for just $5/month, or get the replay at the $11/month Patreon or $8/month substack . To support the pod and join our thriv...

Cue up some disco and put on your finest assless chaps, because we're reviewing the history of The Folsom Street Fair, then we're taking a walking tour of the heart of leather culture in the 1970's - San Francisco's South of Market neighborhood and the many bars, clubs, and bathhouses that made it famous. Check out my substack piece on the walking tour here . Here's the Folsom Street Fair's websit...

If you're reading this, you have a pelvic floor! And Dr. Rachel McCarthy-Moya is here to tell you all about it. Listen for her take on kegels (do less of them), your pelvic floor's relationship to capitalism (burn it down), and her lovely guided exercise for pelvic floor lengthening. Get the complete interview here .  Follow Dr. Rachel here. Recommended Reading: Like A Mother by Angela Garbes Join...

A refresher on red flags and the radical notion that you don't have to put up with assholes to get your kink needs met. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month!   Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com   Go here for information on how to record a voice memo   Subscribe to the subby subs...

Thoughts on respecting all the connections in your polyamorous ecosystem when the sub swoons come calling. Our next Deep Dive is on 9/12 at 3pm with pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Rachel McCarthy-Moya! Get more info here. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month!   Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos t...

A listener wants to know how to navigate putting a dynamic on pause when one partner is Going Through It, and Lina offers ideas about boundaries and points of connection for the supporting partner. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month!   Subscribe to the subby substack here . Submit questions for this podcast as voi...

Vienna Farlow The Cuntsultant dropped by for an interview about the Fertility Awareness Method and the weird shift from not wanting to get pregnant to wanting to, and how to actually do it (or not do it!). We also talked about breeding kinks and how they're totally common, normal, and dare I say… fun? Get the substack piece about baby fever here .  Book Rec: Like A Mother: A Feminist Journey Throu...

This week we're talking about how to approach conflict in a way that honors your D/s dynamic. So few of us have learned any strategies for respectful conflict, and translating the few we have into D/s language can be hard work. Let me help! To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $5/month!   Submit questions for this podcast a...

Hurts So Good author Leigh Cowart joined me for a conversation about pervertibles, aka making kink tools out of what you've got on hand! We also talked about the ever-moving goal posts of masochism and how to make your journey sustainable, joyful, and ever-more perverse. Join Patreon at $11/month to get the complete interview here , as well as access to the archives of interviews with discussions...

A new kinkster asks Lina about the "empty headed feeling" that follows her scenes, and Lina explains how subby headspace can be anti-capitalist… and good for you! Hurts So Good by Leigh Cowart | Conquer Me by Kacie Cunningham | Do Nothing by Celeste Headlee   To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month!   Submit questions...

Have you noticed online is just getting worse and worse? This week, kink celebrity and YouTuber Evie Lupine joins me to talk about how kinky people have seen this coming for miles, and what internet censorship means for newbies searching for their identities in the online kink world. Get the full version of this episode on Patreon or Substack . Get more info about the upcoming Deep Dive with Leigh...

Sometimes parting is just too much sorrow! This week Lina equips a listener with a strategy for lessening the blow of transitioning back into vanilla life without your Dom, and ask the question… maybe it's love? Get my first interview with Leigh: teaser | full version To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month!   Miss the...

Lina interviews a listener who got in touch to share the story of her custody battle with her sex-negative ex-husband, and the unexpected win that arrived at the end of her story. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! You'll also gain access to our Deep Dive with Evie Lupine on 7/20 ! Miss the Friday Q&As? They live...

A sub calls in wondering how to maintain a 24/7 spark when sometimes all you wanna do is curl up on the couch and cuddle. Spoiler alert: kink and the couch may not be as at odds with each other as we think. For more 24/7 info check out my online course Conscious Kink that will walk you through building a dynamic of your very own! Don't miss our Deep Dive with Evie Lupine on 7/20 ! To support the p...

Trying to keep your kink gendy-neutch? Means of address can go a long way in creating that euphoric safe space for you. This week we're bringing you some Pride aftercare in the form of means of address inspiration. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Miss the Friday Q&As? They live on here & are totally free and p...

Lina comforts a listener who's seeking insight into the parallels between bi+ and non-monogamous identities. Lina also takes a second to address the difference between "unicorn hunters" and bi+ people looking to have a nice time. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month!   Miss the Friday Q&As? They live on here & are t...

Zachary Zane, author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto stopped by to talk about bisexual sluttiness, rejecting bi assimilationism, and his hairy butthole. We had a ton of fun breaking down bi stereotypes and bringing some bi chaos to pride month. Join Patreon at $11/month to get the complete interview here , as well as access to the archives of interviews with discussions ranging from how to find...

Sometimes it can be hard for us bi girls to name what we want and go after it, and this week Lina is unpacking all the varying forces that go into this common quandary.  To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month!   Subscribe to the subby substack here . Miss the Friday Q&As? They live on here & are totally free and publi...

A bi-for-bi open marriage, crossdressing, and a series of passionate artistic love affairs — no, it's not 2023, it's 1923! On this month's pride minisode I'm bringing you the story of bisexual it girl Vita Sackville-West, and the letters that made her a queer icon. The Fabulous Forgotten Life Of Vita Sackville-West Our next Deep Dive with bisexual author Zachary Zane is on 6/7 at 5 pacific. To sup...

A Dom calls in wondering how to navigate his sub's dynamic with another Dom, and Lina talks about primary partner veto, as well as the ins and outs of navigating side-by-side dynamics. (Our deepest apologies for the title of this episode, we couldn't help ourselves) To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends,  Join Patreon starting at $5/month!   Miss the...

Hear all about the varied kink lives of our ask a sub community! From single folks to people married with kids, kink is a living, breathing practice that meets us where we are and infuses our lives with choice, meaning, and joy.   Join Patreon at $11/month to get the complete interview here , as well as access to the archives of interviews with discussions ranging from how to find a sex positive t...