ask a sub

ISN'T BEING AN OPEN-HEARTED AND EVOLVED HUMAN SO FUN??? HAHA Well this week we're talking about what to do when your partner is in love, not forcing yourself to feel compersion before you're ready, and some hot takes on boundaries (sometimes they can control the behavior of others?? Are we backsliding into toxicity on the AAS pod or innovating?? You be the judge) PLUS stick around till the end of...

The first brick at Stonewall. The repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". Obergefell v. Hodges. What better way to commemorate these extremely profound and meaningful moments in the history of the struggle for LGBTQ+ rights than by chaotically (but helpfully!) talking about… butt stuff. In this chaotically good June Pride Month episode, we revisit a classic podcast answer where Lina went deep, we're ta...

How do we advocate for our desires the same way we advocate for our limits? How do we see ourselves as valid even if we're bedroom-only? How can a safe word be heard through a ball gag? Lina has practical answers to all of the above, including a (ASMR?) demonstration for one of them…. you'll never guess which!! Become a  Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our dis...

A caller wants to know what to do when a threesome fantasy about a friend becomes a sudden turn-off. Lina does some Ick Forensics™️ on what could be bothering them, and breaks down the realities of being your own Threesome BFF. Also a bonus pep talk for bi girls who are afraid of other girls — tl;dr if the world is burning you better be kissing someone about it so help me god. Read Unicorn Hunters...

Today Lina answers one of life's age old questions, one that's debated frequently in a public forum much like the God question or origins of the universe — should Doms be subs before they Dom? Together we'll weigh the benefits of gaining that empathetic perspective while also balancing the hot take that nobody should do anything sexually they don't want to do. Also — a bonus discussion of Lina in...

Sydney Baloue is a writer, performer, event producer and advocate for racial, social, and gender justice, LGBTQ+ rights, and for trans-masculine visibility in voguing, boxing and in the film and television industry. He opened up with us about the gay male rumspringa he had after transitioning, and how he's found refuge in the wildest of places — gay male saunas and in the arms of various Daddies t...

A long-married caller wants to know how to jumpstart a 24/7 dynamic with a partner who may have some reservations. Lina validates that your 24/7 dynamic is supposed to breathe with you, not suprise choke unwanted breath play on you. Something like that.   Use code FIRST50 for 50% off your first  office hours booking . Become a  Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including...

Ok so I've brought you into my basement, tied you to a chair, fixed a single lightbulb on you, put my spiky boot between your legs, leaned in real close, and now I'm gonna scream "YOU'RE PERFECT AS YOU ARE!!!!!!" Ok with that out of the way let's get into some practical skills for doing kink while neurodivergent and some strategies you can implement today to ease the burden on yourself!! Become a ...

In this new monthly series Lina is answering quick text-based q's from paid members and bringing them to the public feed! This month we're talking about vetting questions to identify inexperienced Doms and subs, what to do about Dom4Dom chaos, and how making prints out in the sun is a metaphor for growth (isn't everything around here??) Become a  Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub...

Activist and writer Michelle Tea joined me this month to vulnerably discuss the places magic intersects with lineage, life, and sex. We transitioned into a bit of a slumber party tee-hee-ing about the archetypes of the tarot and how many of the famous figures of the major arcana could be Doms or subs. It's fun! Get in here! To get the full version of this episode Join Patreon at $11/month or subst...

A caller wants to know how to repair their relationship with their mind and body after a breakup. Lina's take? Don't let your drive to be considerate and ethical override your humanity. Feel it, be messy, take your space. The filth will be there to hold you along the way

Craving a broad introduction to fear play? I bet you are you sick freak!! In this lesson, I mean episode, Lina talks about the classics of fear play: knives, cages, trampling, and even really really sick and perverted edge play like tickling and, god forbid, forced compliments. Fear 101 (Substack) | Letter Writing Ideas from Audrey Gidman Join Lina's Patreon for access to allllll the perks!  http:...

Sex therapist and author Yana Tallon-Hicks dropped by to share some practical sex advice, thoughts on neurodivergence and kink, and lay down some beautiful reflections on consent-forward parenting. To get the full version of this episode  Join Patreon at $11/month or substack at $8/month. Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post archive here . Submit questions for this podcast as...

Introducing my campaign slogan — let's get a fire under every would-be Dom's butt! You can't light the fire, but you can toss some kindling on the sucker and warm yourself by its flame. Maybe roast a marshmallow. Is this becoming gross?   Sadly, the short-lived Sub Space membership is now deceased. Please support us on Patreon or Substack to get extra goodies! Submit questions for this podcast by...

Communication is hard! Ever wanted to do it non-verbally with your butt? Enter: the hanky code. Today we're talking about its origins in queer cruising culture and discussing how to plan your Hot Hanky Summer. ASK A SUB MEMBERSHIP HAS CHANGED! To get all the benefits including our discord server, archive of premium audio and written posts, as well as our new podcast within a podcast, OTK with Lina...

Erica Smith helps Purity Culture dropouts rebuild their sexual ethic after escaping restrictive religions, and this week she's helping all of us deal with the cult of America. On the way we talk about how porn addiction isn't real, how to keep yourself sane through the news, and how the revolution demands fuckin' and suckin'. To get the full version of this episode Join Patreon at $11/month or sub...

A listener calls in wondering how in god's name to deal with having a CRUSH on a CIS MAN?!? (Valid). Lina gives an answer about trusting your body and not letting weird Christian plagiarists from the year 100 run your life in 2025. ASK A SUB MEMBERSHIP HAS CHANGED! To get all the benefits including our discord server, archive of premium audio and written posts, as well as our new podcast within a...

This week we've got a HUGE announcement and a call from a sub who sounds frickin' exhausted. Who isn't?? Lina reminds everybody about how submission begins at home, and how the call of self-discovery is coming from inside the house (we have self-actualization at home). Calling all sub space cadets!! You'[re needed at basic training!! Get into my all new, totally independent membership service over...

Lina shares a million thoughts on anal sex from a sub's perspective including sweet meditations on the butt's position as a metaphor for the liminal space between our conscious and subconscious minds, as well as meditations on what to do if your butt plug is about to fall out at a public wine tasting. Happy Valentine's, sluts!!!! Get Lina's favorite anal sex memoir The Surrender  here To support t...

A sub in an M/s dynamic calls in wondering how to integrate more long distance service into their dynamic and Lina nerds out on protocol in great detail. A brain dump if you will. (I'm NOT going to make a scat play joke. I would NEVER.) To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Submit questions for this podcast by going...

Calling all rubber buggy baby kinksters… let's take a hard 180 away from the doomscroll and talk about the surprising history of the latex kink. From fashion runways to kiddie pools of piss, this versatile fabric has a lot to offer the freaks of the world. Lina's book recommendations (I get 10% of your order!) Life, Leather, and the Pursuit of Happiness (Steve Lenius) From Fetish to Fashion: The R...

A listener calls in feeling big feelings about a new Dom, and Lina talks about making the most of the safe havens we find along the road to our dream situation. And maybe covering those safe havens in saliva a bit, idk!! Sign up to hear about upcoming offerings  here . Snag your office hours appointment  here . Mr. Dune Deep Dive info . Daddy Issues series on  Patreon or Substack . To support the...

Hey!! Hey you!! Stop worrying about upsetting people with your very reasonable needs and requests! In today's episode, a caller worries that their Dom is upset by their needs/wants/suggestions, and Lina goes Big Sister Mode to set them straight. To get the full version of this episode  Join Patreon at $11/month or substack at $8/month. Subscribe to the subby substack  here . See the paid post arch...

No family?! Community kitchens?! Mandatory orgies?! Less social isolation?! This is the future the left wants, and Lina is forcing it down your throat this week alongside brilliant guest Sophie Lewis who wrote the book on family abolition. Join us for a discussion about tentacle porn, muppet theory, and liberatory queer futures. To get the full version of this episode  Join Patreon at $11/month or...

This Christmas, fear isn't just for the ballot box. That's right, a caller wants to know how to negotiate with fear around kinks, edges, and, the scariest monster of all, the terrifying ordeal of being Known by another human being. Also in the intro Lina sets expectations for Babygirl (medium) and encourages all of you to get to work on your kinky screenplays in 2025. Kinky Movies That Don't Suck...