As Long As I'm Living

Alina met Tyler on Hinge in November 2021, LIVE on an episode of As Long As I'm Living podcast (yes... this is real!). This weekend in July 2023 is their wedding! Listen to this episode to hear what Tyler's thoughts were when he first met Alina and found out about her traumatic backstory, how he was initiated into the "dead baby club" by Alina (and Judith), and the way he approac...

It's a holiday here in the US, but here is an episode from when we were together in Boston in March! We chatted about returning to work, Alina's wedding, and more! If you'd rather watch us in action instead of listening, you can do that HERE ! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit u...

Last week on As Long As I'm Living, we talked about how expensive the first few months are after your baby dies. This week, we're talking about the long-term costs: lost work, therapy bills, and fertility struggles are just a few of the things that we and you all in our community have experienced since our babies died. To listen to the first episode in this series, click here: The Cost of...

In this episode, we break down how much it actually costs when your baby dies. Headstones, ambulance bills, and autopsies... oh my. Stay tuned for next week's episode, where we'll dive into the ongoing, long-term costs. The numbers are horrifying. ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - Study about Americans' readiness for a financial emergency - Adalyn Rose Foundation - Vitrified...

Alina posted a reel on Instagram a few weeks ago, and it got big. It somehow found the eyeballs of non-loss parents, and they were NOT comfortable with being confronted with the reality of baby loss. In this episode, we talk about how it feels to be a part of a movement to reduce stigma, what our approach is to gaining followers (spoiler: we want FEWER followers because that means fewer dead babie...

Meet Jami, Lev's mom! Jami is a coworker of Judith's, and when she found out that Judith had lost a son, she reached out immediately. Jami's son Lev was stillborn in 2008, and although she has since gone on to have 4 living children (and 2 additional pregnancy losses), she still grieves Lev's loss every day. This episode is a conversation about the differences between early grief a...

We're feeling good! And we're on the floor! ...sounds about right. ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you! ::: As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are re...

Alina's planning a wedding, and Quinn should be there. She's wishing she could google: "how to incorporate dead child into wedding ceremony" but unfortunately there's not many people who have lived experience with this set of circumstances. Does anyone have tips for her? Please help. ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an ema...

Meet Jess Walker, the founder of greeting card brand Five Dot Post. Jess is an entrepreneur based in Long Beach, CA. She started designing cards in 2018 after her husband Tommy's cancer diagnosis and grew Five Dot Post throughout his four-year fight as a way to support her family while serving the cancer community. Her love of greeting cards and small business led to a heart-centered company w...

No matter how you felt about pregnancy announcements before, we're guessing your feelings have changed since your baby died. Ours certainly have. It is not fair -- at all -- that our babies are dead and other people's babies are alive and kicking. It is a completely insane thing that our babies died, so of course we have thoughts and feelings that are absolutely insane. We need to forgive...

TFMR: Termination for Medical Reasons. It's a particularly devastating type of baby loss, where parents are forced to make a "choice" that isn't really a choice at all. Meet Alyssa, Adelyn's mom. She had to have a TFMR procedure to interrupt Adelyn's pregnancy in summer of 2022, right in the midst of Roe v. Wade being overturned here in the U.S. The fear and confusion sur...

We are back from our podcast break! In this episode, we talk about how weird it is to answer the question "How are you?" because we're objectively AWFUL, but also sometimes okay? And frequently both at the same time. We'll be back Thursday with a BONUS episode for TFMR Awareness Day, and next week on Monday with our regularly scheduled episodes. We missed all of you terribly and...

We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead! ::: As Long As I'm Living: Advocacy TFMR is Baby Loss, an interview with Hadley's Mom Jill Abortion is Healthcare Calamity, an interview about race and infant loss with Emy Collins, Bash's Mom ::: Listen to someone else! Sad Comfy Couch Your favorite bereft aunties get real about surviving infant loss,...

We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead! ::: As Long As I'm Living: Episodes from the Floor Alina's Bad Day November 30th and December 1st Into the Planets Big Feelings Green Eyed Monster Consolation Prize Bruised Not Broken (skip to the end) He's Still Dead ::: Listen to someone else! ⁠Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel⁠ Listen to the...

We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead! ::: As Long As I'm Living: Hear From the Pros! Empty Arms, an Interview with Carol McMurrich SIDS, an Interview with Dr. Goldstein of the Roberts Program Parental Grief, an Interview with Dr. Goldstein of the Roberts Program All About EMDR, an Interview with Trauma Therapist Rebecca Munini Grief Needs a Witnes...

We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead! ::: As Long As I'm Living: Return to Work Start Healing Together, an Interview with Jackie Mancinelli There Is No Moving On, an Interview with Jen Su ::: Listen to someone else! High Strange From the creators of Up and Vanished and Radio Rental, host Payne Lindsey attempts to break the stigma surrounding the t...

We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead! ::: As Long As I'm Living: Grief 101 Little Triggers Everywhere The Grief Button Signs Perfectly Normal Why Me? ::: Listen to someone else! ⁠Terrible, Thanks for Asking⁠ It’s a question we ask (and get asked) all the time: “How are you?” And normally we just respond with “Fine!” even if we’re totally dying ins...

Our resident grief therapist is back... Dr. Denise is here to talk with us about making meaning after loss. What does it mean to make meaning? Why is is helpful to a griever? When do people typically start to have the energy to make meaning? Do you have to make meaning? What if you don't want to write a book, or make a foundation, or start a podcast? What can meaning also look like if not thos...

Aiden died two years ago. That's pretty much it, that's the episode. ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you! ::: As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happi...

This is the second part of Judith's interview with her friend Katie, Zayn's mom, who you may know as @BreathingAfterLoss on Instagram. To listen to the first part, where Judith and Katie talk about the struggles of having an alive baby after a dead baby, why they don't fit in with mom groups, and more, click the link below: Breathing After Loss, an Interview About Parenting After Loss...

Judith got Aiden's results from the Roberts Program (see the episode where Alina got hers for more information on what this is... linked below), and it was good news. But it was good news about bad news, so it doesn't really feel so good. We share our feelings before and after the results meeting. (P.S. Sorry about the weird audio in part 2!) ::: Things we talk about in this episode: Alina's Rober...

You may know her as @BreathingAfterLoss on Instagram, but we're here to introduce you to Katie, who happens to be a real-life friend of Judith's. In this episode, Judith and Katie talk about the struggles of having an alive baby after a dead baby, why they don't fit in with mom groups, and more! Check back in a few weeks for the continuation of this conversation, where Judith and Katie talk about...

Thank you to listener Kim for the idea for this episode! Alina is going on vacation this weekend, and we decided to talk all about traveling after baby loss. Why is it so hard? What makes it worth it anyway? ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to he...

We thankfully had time to record a real episode for you later in the week, but this was our first attempt at this week's episode. It's BAD!!! Alina was sick and recording from bed, and for some reason both of our brains were not connected to our mouths. We're releasing this in case anyone needs a laugh, but we are fully aware this is our worst episode ever. If you want to listen to some better pro...

Today on As Long As I'm Living podcast, we're taking stock. How far are we on our journeys toward Happier Ever After, 2ish years since the deaths of our sons? We think we're somewhere over Denver. Or Mars. ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast , send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com , or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving ! We would love to h...