As Long As I'm Living

Your favorite baby loss podcast hosts in the same place? You bet! In this crossover episode, we’re joined by Katherine Lazar, host of At a Total Loss podcast , to talk about what it looks like to live with child loss both in the early days and years later. We get into how each of us found our way to podcasting, the role of community when everything falls apart, and the weird, complicated evolution...

Last week, we released an episode where Alina talked about surviving Quinn's fifth death anniversary in January. This week, check in with Judith as she just survived Aiden's. 5 years. Wow. xo Alina and Judith ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠...

Recorded back in January, immediately after the 5th anniversary of Quinn's death. Tune in next week for thoughts from Judith about Aiden's 5th death anniversary, which just passed in early March. xo Alina and Judith ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit u...

It's the most wonderful time of the year... horoscope day on As Long As I'm Living! ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or v...

Do you ever find yourself making small talk and... lying? But like, not lying? For example... You don't have any kids (except the dead one). In this episode we talk about these "context truths" and a couple of other random things! (Happy belated birthday, Judith!) ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/...

Families are supposed to grow, not shrink... In this episode, Judith discusses how it felt to take family photos without Aiden and without Aiden's dad. Her FAMILY is now only an ---ILY. (Also, happy birthday, Quinn. ILY.) ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Inst...

OF COURSE we (and you) are grateful for ANY living child, whether they have XX or XY chromosomes. It's still okay to have feelings about it. *We know that that during pregnancy you find out biological sex, not gender, and that any child's gender identity and expression could change. HOWEVER this is the term that most are familiar with and is likely to show up in search results, so we're going with...

No. And yes! ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would l...

Judith's living son turned 1, and it was a stark reminder that the childbearing years of her life have not gone the way she expected. It's been one thing after another, and sometimes on top of each other, for almost 5 years. A smorgasbord of suffering, if you will. But she's a survivor. ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire...

Taylor Swift announced a new album!!!!!! In other news, we chat about how it feels like we've entered into a new era with the Universe... one where we are finally reaping the rewards of what we've sown. ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

One of us is struggling to parent a living baby daughter after loss, and the other is in the midst of a divorce from their baby's dad. No, this isn't 2022... turns out we've done a little life swap. ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@as...

Judith and Aiden's dad have made the decision to separate. We recorded this audio a while ago so that you could hear some of how it was going in real time, and stay tuned for next week for a more recent update. ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠...

In this episode, we review the Owlet infant pulse-ox monitor and share all of YOUR feedback on the zillion monitors on the market for our living babies after loss. The gist? Don't bother, but also go for it if you really want to. ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living...

It's official: Alina's daughter outlived Quinn. Bittersweet doesn't begin to cover it... Stay tuned for next week's episode for an update from Judith. ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an ema...

Which of us is more likely to... start a loss support foundation? ...get a speeding ticket? ...text back immediately? This is a fun little episode that will hopefully feel like a distraction from whatever hard stuff is going on in your life. (We've got some hard stuff happening too.) ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.co...

We're kicking off a new series with a controversial BANG... What do we think about co- sleeping, given its association with higher SIDS risk? Note: in this episode we are talking specifically about co-sleeping (in the same bed) not room sharing. More from SIDS excited Dr. Goldstein here: In Ask ALAIL, we tackle the topics that come up for loss parents and offer our advice, experiences, or sometime...

Hello from your favorite (appropriately!) medicated podcast hosts! In this episode, we talk about psychiatric medications: why we choose to use them, when we went on them, our good and bad experiences, and more. If you are grieving a loss (particularly a traumatic one) and have been considering going on medication, this episode is for you! Please remember that WE ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS and...

In this episode, Judith chats with Jennifer Ventling about boundaries. What are boundaries? how should you set them? What is the best way to enforce them? More this week on this topic on our Instagram stories! From Jen: "I am a Certified Professional Coach. I specialize in coaching people with chaotic lives. My mission is to combat toxic positivity and messaging such as, “take control of your chao...

One baby born, another baby remembered. Both deeply loved. In this episode, we talk about Alina's new alive baby daughter and the unfortunate timing of her birth the same week as Aiden's death anniversary. How did we navigate celebrating a birth day and a death day at the same time? Listen to hear. ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at  ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠  OR buy buying our MER...

Catch this episode for a live blog of Alina's week-long induction process (scheduled, postponed, rescheduled, started, paused, started, and finally... completed) and the mental health spirals that accompanied it. There's an alive baby at the end of this story (and she's still alive, today). If you're not in an alive baby mood, we get it, feel free to skip this episode. ::: Support As Long As I'm L...

You probably already know Sara Rian's work... but if you don't, get ready to be SEEN in your grief. Sara Rian is a poet, self-published author, mother, wife, licensed therapist, and griever living in Metro Detroit. She has been drawn to grief poetry ever since her mother's death in 2018. In this interview, we chat with Sara about how she has turned her traumatic grief into art, what it's like to g...

It's Mother's Day... again. We're back from our podcast break just in time to hang out with all of you for Mother's Day weekend. Sending love to all of you for whom this weekend is tough. ::: There are a couple of ways you can support the podcast (below), and you can hear more about each one in this episode. 1. One-time support 2. Monthly support 3. Episode sponsorships Our content has always been...

Re-using an old episode title to announce that Alina's baby was born, and she's doing great! More to come -- soon! (But we may take a few weeks off.) ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ ! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpod...

How I wonder where you are... Where did our babies go when they died? To heaven? To the stars? Into the ether? We talk about our thoughts on this existential question and how they've evolved since we became loss moms. ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠ ! ::: Follow As Long As I&#39...

Alina is about to welcome a new baby into her family... It's the latest in a long line of leaps of faith that she's taken after losing Quinn in 2021... probably the biggest one yet. Hear how she's feeling about it all in this episode, then send well wishes her way in the comments! ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠bonfire.co...